Why Narcissists May Be Drawn To Religious Communities, According To Therapists
Panagiotis Falcos | Unsplash I started questioning my faith around eight years old. Since I was raised Catholic, I had to attend religion classes before I could make my Confirmation — but even as a child, I had a skeptical brain. It was always on the lookout for answers. Proof. Inconsistencies.
One Sunday, while my religion teacher read us Noah and the Flood, my skeptical brain hit a snag. Again. I raised my hand. “Why would God kill everyone in a flood if he loves us?”
“He didn’t kill everyone. He spared Noah and his family.”
“But I thought we were all God’s sons and daughters. Isn’t he supposed to love everyone?”
“He teaches us lessons because he loves us,” my religion teacher said.
I thought of my real father, who told me he loved me every night before bed. I thought of the time I crashed his work computer while trying to download The Sims, which seemed infinitely worse than what the rest of humanity had done. (Wait… What had humanity done? I still wasn’t sure.) My real dad didn’t so much as raise a hand to spank me.
I was 99.9% sure he would never drown me in the name of discipline. “Well, that doesn’t make any sense,” I concluded. She sent me home with a note for my mother. It read, “Maria continues to ask questions in class rather than accepting the Word of God.”
Decades later, I’m still questioning religion. But now, I’m a journalist. And as America experiences a resurgence of Christianity, I’m fascinated by the ways religion has infiltrated our social and political power structures.
Donald Trump campaigned on Christian values. He said (out loud), “I am the chosen one,” and “I am your retribution,” promising to make America Christian again. Yet weeks before the 2024 election, over 200 mental health experts signed a statement urging people not to vote for him, because he shows clear signs of malignant narcissism.
Under Trump’s policies, the very people Jesus strove to protect — the poor, the hungry, the foreigners, the women, the children — are statistically the most likely to suffer. Meanwhile, Trump has escaped conviction through presidential immunity and is $1.8 billion richer since November 2024.
As ICE agents storm our streets in the name of doctrine and defense, I don’t recognize the kind, accepting teachings of Jesus. I recognize the temper tantrums of a righteous, petty, Old-Testament God — the same God who wiped out all of humanity to teach us a lesson.
Except that those administering these punishments are not Gods. They’re humans with superiority complexes, and President Trump is not the first narcissistic ruler to exploit people with religion.
Research shows a correlation between extrinsic religious orientation and narcissistic personality traits. In other words, people with narcissistic tendencies are more likely to use religion for control, personal gain, and social rewards. Our history books are littered with rulers like this.
So what is it about religion that allows narcissism to thrive? I spoke with three mental health experts (a licensed social worker, a psychologist, and a psychotherapist) who specialize in religious trauma and narcissistic abuse.
Why narcissists are drawn to religious communities, according to therapists:
1. Religion creates a feeling of moral superiority
Most religions believe that they are God’s chosen people. According to psychologist and certified narcissistic abuse treatment clinician, Deborah S. Wilder, Ph.D., this mentality can create something called “collective narcissism,” in which a group derives a sense of superiority from believing they’re special. “Religion can sometimes reinforce that kind of us-versus-them identity,” said Dr. Wilder.
But for individuals with narcissistic traits, religion offers a ready-made framework that confirms their suspicions: I am better than everyone else. Unlike someone who is simply selfish or self-centered, a person with narcissistic personality disorder will “see themselves as superior to others and deserving of special treatment,” said Elizabeth Hammond, licensed independent clinical social worker (LICSW), who specializes in religious trauma.
“When a belief system emphasizes being ‘superior,’ ‘saved,’ or more righteous than others, it can feed a sense of specialness,” Dr. Wilder said, ultimately strengthening a narcissist’s ego and sense of entitlement.
2. Religion offers authority without accountability
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Religion is built on faith, not proof. Followers are asked to suspend their critical thinking and simply trust: Trust that God has a plan. Trust that authority is divinely guided. Trust that preachers understand God’s moral law better than they do. Trust that the leaders of their church have their best interests at heart.
“For someone who craves admiration, being seen as a spiritual leader can feel incredibly validating,” said Dr. Wilder. These roles often come with respect, visibility, and the authority to decide how others should live their lives.
Throw in the fact that someone with narcissistic personality disorder lacks basic empathy, and you’ve got a breeding ground for unchecked power. “If obedience, submission, or hierarchy are strongly emphasized, people with more malignant or authoritarian narcissistic traits may feel empowered,” said Dr. Wilder. “They can frame dominance as leadership, and control as spiritual guidance.”
3. Religion encourages a blurring of boundaries
Sarah Williams, licensed psychotherapist, specializes in narcissistic abuse recovery. Her patients include “not only those who are recovering from narcissistic relationships, but also from religious environments where their voice was silenced, their boundaries were violated, and their pain was minimized in the name of faith.”
Much like an emotionally abusive partner, a religious leader may ask you to submit to authority, ignore your instincts, obey without question, accept harm as divine will, and forgive those who trespass against you. From the mouth of a narcissist, you may hear statements like:
“I’m the one God chose to lead you.”
“I prayed about it, and Jesus said this is the right thing to do.”
“That doubt you feel is the devil taking hold. Don’t give in to it.”
“God has forgiven me for what I did. You should, too.”
“When spiritual language is used to justify dominance or dismiss harm, it becomes a powerful tool for manipulation rather than a source of healing,” Dr. Williams said.
4. Religion reinforces traditional hierarchies
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Young men are flocking to the church in record numbers, and for a good reason: It’s one of the only spaces left in America where they’re considered inherently superior.
“Many organized religions, especially within Judeo-Christian traditions, have rigid power hierarchies,” Hammond said. The leaders are responsible for making decisions and determining how the community interprets scripture — and in right-wing Christian nationalist groups, “men are given higher authority and decision-making power than women.”
According to Hammond, to understand the rise of Christian extremism, we have to understand the social and political conditions that got us here:
“In 2000, Robert Putnam wrote Bowling Alone and argued that the decline in social engagement through civic groups, social clubs, sports leagues, and similar organizations was eroding social capital and would eventually threaten democracy and social health. It has been 26 years, and I believe those predictions have largely been accurate. […] Church had always been presented to [people] as a safe and welcoming place. We have also seen erosion of the social safety net, and many religious organizations provide charitable services.”
In other words, as capitalism replaces community, connection, and charity, Americans have found themselves lonely and desperate for support systems — and if the male loneliness epidemic is any indication, young men are especially affected.
While any gender can have narcissistic traits, narcissistic personality disorder is up to 75% more common in males. For young men who crave respect, authority, and dominance over women, the church seems extremely appealing.
Hammond said that her practice is overwhelmingly women, but “many feel like they’ve ‘lost’ their brothers, sons, fathers, male friends, etc., to right-wing extremism,” and they feel a conflicting combination of anger, helplessness, and grief.
5. Religion comes with a built-in audience
Today, nearly 65% of Americans identify as Christian. Even though the United States was founded on the separation of church and state, Christian ideologies still permeate our education, courts, media, and politics. Today’s politicians are making laws based on scripture and mandating that we teach the Bible in public schools.
Whether a narcissist preaches the word of Jesus from a street corner, their Instagram account, or behind a pulpit, they’re guaranteed an audience of enthusiastic listeners.
“Religious communities naturally involve gatherings, teaching, testimonies, and public speaking,” said Dr. Wilder. “For someone who thrives on attention and validation, that’s a steady source of what we call ‘narcissistic supply.’”
6. Religion attracts people seeking safety, purpose, and hope
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If religion only attracted narcissists, they’d all join the church, battle it out for power, and ultimately implode. But religion attracts plenty of good people, too — and that’s why their manipulation is so dangerous.
All three experts stress that most religious people are not narcissistic, and many faith practices promote compassion, community, belonging, support, purpose, and healing. As a result, “faith communities often attract individuals who are grieving, searching for meaning, or emotionally vulnerable,” Dr. Williams said.
While anyone is vulnerable to narcissistic abuse, Hammond noted that religious manipulation may feel especially familiar to those raised by narcissistic parents. For others, the abuse may sneak up on them: “It rarely begins as exploitation. It often begins with affirmation and love-bombing, and the community becomes more controlling over time.” Either way, religion itself is not the issue.
“It’s what happens when power, authority, and moral status go unchecked,” Dr. Wilder said. “The risk comes when emotional safety, accountability, protection, and healthy boundaries aren’t part of the culture” — because in those environments, the narcissist becomes a master of exploitation.
Maria Cassano is a writer, editor, and journalist whose work has appeared on NBC, Bustle, CNN, The Daily Beast, Food & Wine, and Allure, among others.
