Women Who Married Emotionally Unstable Men Say These 11 Signs Showed Up Early & Often
Olha Povozniuk / Shutterstock Relationships are not easy. It’s difficult to keep everyone happy. When a man is emotionally unstable, it complicates the situation entirely. Sometimes, men can be guilty of bottling their emotions. When a man is unstable in his emotions and shows them, it’s not a healthy marriage.
Emotionally unstable men may take their issues out on their wives. You may wonder why someone would get into a relationship with a man like this in the first place. These men almost always have good qualities. They can be outstanding in other categories, but act out emotionally. Women who have found themselves in relationships with this type of man discovered signs early. They behaved in certain ways often.
Women who married emotionally unstable men say these 11 signs showed up early & often
1. They make entitled statements
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People can be entitled, whether or not they are emotionally stable. When someone struggles with their emotions, they may expect the world to cater to them. When they are feeling unstable, they may demand special treatment. It feels good to have others do things for them. They may be less self-sufficient because their mood is all over the place.
A woman who married an emotionally unstable man may have noticed early on that he was entitled. He was constantly asking her to do things for him. When he didn’t get his way, he likely threw fits and struggled to cope with being told no. He may have felt entitled to her time and effort.
2. Their emotions are intense
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It’s not surprising that someone who struggles to control their feelings shows it through their behavior. Women who married emotionally unstable men often notice this sign early. She may see that he goes from hot to cold quickly. Little things can be blown out of proportion. He may get angry quickly and often.
Men can struggle with anger. When they are dealing with an underlying emotional instability problem, it can be even harder for them to control themselves. They are not easy to be around when something doesn’t go their way. Intense emotional outbursts can be a clear sign that someone is struggling with stability.
3. They never take responsibility for their actions
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Taking accountability is important in a relationship. Whether it is intentional or not, feelings will get hurt. When someone hurts us, it’s natural that we want them to take responsibility for their actions. Women who married emotionally unstable men might have noticed how little their partner took accountability for their actions. When they are dealing with overwhelming emotions, they may blame others for their behavior.
If someone who has emotional stability also struggles with narcissistic behavior, it can get even worse. Not only can he take out his emotions on his partner, but he can also always find a way to make her feel in the wrong.
4. They experience mood swings
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Mood swings can be a sign that someone is struggling with emotional instability. When a man is constantly feeling overwhelming emotions, it’s not easy. He may go from a great mood to suddenly being angry within a split second. Women who married men like this noticed this sign early and often. Going from hot to cold isn’t uncommon with someone like this.
We often link mood swings to women. However, men can experience them too. They can be common when someone is emotionally unstable.
5. They claim all their exes are ‘crazy’
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We have all known a man who claims all of his exes are ‘crazy.’ When you are getting to know someone, you may believe this statement. How could he be the issue? He seems so kind. However, you may notice a change in his behavior early on. Suddenly, you’re wondering if he was telling the truth all along.
An emotionally unstable man might place the blame on everyone but himself. It’s likely his behavior impacted how his previous partners feel about him. Instead of listening to their feelings, he may be quick to act out. Constantly talking poorly about people can be a red flag.
6. They’re emotionally dependent on others
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Emotionally unstable men might place their dependence on other people, especially their partner. Instead of dealing with his own emotions, he expects his wife to fulfill his needs. He wants her to meet all of his emotional needs because he struggles to keep himself together. This can put stress on the woman they are married to. It can be overwhelming, and she will likely notice it early and often.
“Trouble meeting your own emotional needs can significantly impact your romantic relationships, and the effects can also extend to other areas of life,” says Crystal Raypole for Healthline. “Emotionally dependent people typically need a lot of reassurance and support from their partners.”
7. They have poor coping skills
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Coping skills are something we develop to manage stress. Life is always going to throw us curveballs. How we respond is what matters most. If a man is emotionally unstable, he can act out and struggle to find a way to control his emotions. Instead, he may put all the pressure on his partner to pick up the slack. He may use manipulation to have her wrapped around his finger.
When someone struggles with their emotions, women who are married to them notice they are lacking coping skills early and often. Instead of calming themselves down, they may take it out on everyone around them.
8. They have you walking on eggshells
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Some relationships are difficult. They can be made especially stressful when a man is suffering from emotional instability. It can feel like you’re walking on eggshells. Any wrong move and it may all blow up again. Treading lightly feels like a necessity. He could snap at any moment.
Women who married men like this may notice this behavior quickly. One moment, everything is great. Next, he’s blowing up, and everything feels impossible. It’s not an easy marriage.
9. They are constantly stressed
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Stress is difficult to manage. When someone is dealing with emotional instability, they may constantly appear stressed. They can struggle to process their emotions. It’s not easy for someone who feels overwhelmed by his feelings. He can feel stressed all the time because his emotions are intense.
When a man like this is stressed, it’s not uncommon for him to lash out at the people in his life. His wife may notice this behavior early on. She might try to explain it away, but it gets to a point that is too hard to deal with. He will likely lash out in anger, making her feel hurt.
10. They get jealous easily
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Jealousy in a relationship is difficult to manage. When a man is emotionally unstable, it can devastate a woman. He may accuse her of doing things she isn’t. From cheating to sabotaging him, his mind can try to convince him that she is always doing something wrong. Women who marry men like this will notice this behavior early on. First, it may start with critiquing what she wears or telling her to cut off male friends. Eventually, it can spiral out of proportion.
Someone who struggles with their emotions may be insecure. It can impact how they treat the women in their lives. His emotional volatility can cause him to take his feelings out on her. It can lead to a complicated dynamic.
11. They won't listen to feedback
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Feedback can lead to conflict in a relationship. No one wants to be told they’re doing something wrong. However, it can be important to air these grievances. We need to be comfortable sharing our feelings with our partner. If a man is emotionally unstable, he may not respond well to feedback. It can cause him to lose his cool. It’s not easy to have these conversations, but when someone lacks control over their emotions, it can be devastating.
“When it comes right down to it, we just want to feel loved, understood, accepted, and appreciated. Naturally, we look to our intimate relationships to meet these needs, but more and more often, we end up feeling disappointed and let down,” says Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D. “So many people are going about life like the ‘walking wounded’ because they don’t feel fulfilled by their intimate relationships.”
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
