11 Things Millennial Parents Complain About That Never Bothered Older Moms And Dads
BearFotos / Shutterstock Millennial parents are raising kids in a world that moves faster and demands more. With a constant stream of information, higher expectations, and pressure to do everything right, it’s no surprise that there are so many things millennial parents complain about that never bothered older moms and dads.
What feels overwhelming to today’s parents often didn’t even register as a concern for moms and dads who raised kids in the ’70s, ’80s, or ’90s. The parenting landscape has simply changed. Today's parents are juggling challenges no one warned them about, whereas older generations experienced parenting without many of today’s pressures, giving them a completely different baseline.
These are 11 things millennial parents complain about that never bothered older moms and dads
1. Constant guilt
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The first thing millennial parents complain about that never bothered older moms and dads is the constant feeling of guilt. Back in the day, standards for parenting weren't so strict. With the pressure these days to parent in just the right way, things aren't so simple.
“Gen X and Millennials placed a far greater emphasis on gentle parenting, emotional validation and psychological well-being, leading to heightened awareness of their children’s needs, but also a greater likelihood of guilt when they feel they aren’t meeting every expectation,” psychologist Morgan Cutlip, Ph.D., told LA Parent. “This ideology suggests that mothers should dedicate an extraordinary amount of time, energy and financial resources to their children’s development. Intensive mothering is rooted in several core beliefs, including, ‘good mothering should feel difficult. If it’s not hard, you’re not doing it right.’ This standard creates an unsustainable level of pressure, making guilt an almost inevitable consequence.”
2. The lack of a 'village'
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In the past, more people had a large support system. However, as time has gone by, hyper-individualism has become increasingly common. Individualism, although great in many ways, robbed millennial parents of a vital network of helpers.
This is why something millennial parents complain about that never bothered older moms and dads is the lack of a village. Whether it's their parents not showing up for them or their company, flexibility isn't a thing anymore. People are entirely too focused on themselves, leaving millennial parents to fend for themselves the majority of the time.
3. Anxiety about the effects of screen time
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Everywhere millennial parents go, there's a warning about the effects of excessive screen time. From concerns about harming their child's development to not wanting to be viewed as neglectful, millennial parents can become understandably anxious. This is why another thing millennial parents complain about that never bothered older moms and dads is screen time anxiety.
Let's be honest: leaving your kid to scroll mindlessly for hours wasn't a thing back when boomers were parents. Unfortunately, this isn't the same nowadays. According to Brown University Health, the average teen now spends between six hours and 40 minutes in front of a screen. Most millennial parents understand this is unhealthy, which is why they complain so much about it.
4. Sleep training debates
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Once upon a time, parents didn't really care how anyone else got their children to go to sleep. However, nowadays, millennial parents are on the internet and social media, playing a constant game of compare-and-contrast. This is why another thing millennial parents complain about that never bothered older moms and dads is the debate over sleep training.
"The debate takes place in Facebook groups and Reddit threads and Instagram comments and, especially, on TikTok, where Team Sleep Training is posting its own stylishly curated propaganda," notes Laura Hazard Owen in an article for The Cut. That same debate, she says, "has a tendency to become a conversation about everything: marriage, feminism, justice — all of human relations contained within the sound of a baby snoring (or screaming)."
Above all, she emphasized, "All the parents I spoke to said they were searching for ways to be slightly less miserable. That, to me, seems more urgent than worrying about hashtags for various parenting philosophies. Those things never helped anyone get to sleep."
5. Expensive childcare costs
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As has the price of most things these days, the cost of childcare has become overwhelmingly expensive. According to the US Department of Labor Blog, in 2022, parents spent around $15,600 on childcare costs annually. For most parents living paycheck to paycheck, this is extremely expensive, which is why they complain so much.
A report from Child Care Aware® of America and the Buffett Early Childhood Institute at the University of Nebraska states, "The current system is unsustainable. Families face costs that far exceed what’s considered affordable." In addition, they note that childcare providers "are leaving the field due to low pay and burnout."
6. Social media safety concerns
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Once upon a time, parents felt safe letting their child go outside. Whether it was by themselves or with their friends, these parents didn't bat an eye at their child's safety being put at risk. However, a thing millennial parents complain about that never bothered older moms and dads is social media safety concerns.
Nowadays, it seems as though there's danger lurking not only on every corner, but also on every phone and device. While some may roll their eyes, there's no denying that the world has become a dark place. And wanting to protect their children, millennial parents are quick to monitor their children's content closely, or even go so far as keeping them offline altogether.
7. Pressure to feed their children organic foods
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Millennial parents truly have the short end of the stick. Overwhelmed and overworked, they bear the weight of the world on their shoulders. Not only do they have to deal with a busy work schedule, but they're expected to come home after a grueling day of work and whip up a four-course meal made of strictly organic ingredients. This is why another thing millennial parents complain about that never bothered older moms and dads is the pressure to feed their children organic food.
Back in the day, they didn't need to worry. Since everything included a lot fewer chemicals, it was easier to trust and depend on our food. However, as regulations shifted, eating healthy food has become more of a struggle.
8. Worrying about passing on generational trauma
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Sure, someone's life might seem great now. However, we all have our own baggage. This is why a thing Millennial parents complain about that never bothered older moms and dads is worrying about passing on generational trauma.
Back in the day, mental health wasn't taken as seriously. Kids were told to grin and bear it, and generational trauma was an all too common occurrence. Thankfully, millennials do their best to break this cycle, which is why they complain so much about it. They don't necessarily want pity, but they do feel a need to express their worry about possibly repeating the same mistakes.
9. Managing multiple school apps
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Back in the day, parents didn't have to worry about school apps. Since everything was done either on paper or in person, parents didn't have to feel so exhausted by keeping up with all these notifications. Unfortunately, things have changed since then. What once used to be one app has never turned into multiple.
As psychologist Mark Travers, Ph.D., explained, "Overwhelming and often incessant streams of alerts can cause distractions, raise anxiety levels, and contribute to digital fatigue."
10. Worrying about their kids' safety at school
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Most millennial parents know how terrifying this world is. School safety isn't the same as it once was. From false alarms to horrible incidents seen every day on the news, a thing millennial parents complain about that never bothered older moms and dads is worrying about their kids' safety at school.
And while some may chalk it up to being overprotective, this isn't the case. These incidents are real, and parents do their best to prepare their kids for the worst-case scenario.
11. Finding time for self-care as a parent
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Finally, another thing millennial parents complain about that never bothered older moms and dads is finding time for self-care. It isn't always easy to take care of oneself. Lacking a community, many parents are forced to carry a heavy weight on their shoulders. Even so, refusing to engage in self-care is more damaging than Millennial parents realize. Not just physically, but mentally as well.
As a study published in 2022 explained, low levels of depression are associated with poor self-care. And while Millennial parents know this, because they don't have the time, they complain about it more than the previous generations of parents did.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
