Men Who Can’t Stop Saying These 11 Phrases Exhaust Everyone Around Them
It can be hard hearing these phrases time and time again from a man in your life.
MAYA LAB / Shutterstock We have all known a man who is constantly on the defensive. He will say things that are frustrating to hear time and time again. Usually, he’s looking for an excuse to wiggle out of his bad behavior. The people in his life are open to helping him out, but they grow exhausted by constantly hearing these same things over and over again because he can't seem to stop himself from saying them.
These phrases can vary. Sometimes, they use 'woe is me' type sentences to try to invoke sympathy from others. Other times, they’re broad phrases that can come off as offensive. These men likely say these things to garner attention. It can be hard for others to extend that attention time and time again when they hear it so often. It’s important to provide patience where you can, but men who repeat these sayings exhaust everyone around them at a certain point.
Men who can’t stop saying these 11 phrases exhaust everyone around them
1. 'Not all me'
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We all know someone who uses this phrase. Of course, when we have a complaint about something a man has done, we are not blaming all men. It’s exhausting to hear this over and over again. Clearly, we are just stating how something makes us feel.
This isn’t just reserved for offensive comments. This phrase can also be used to boost his own ego. He’ll try to convince you that he is unique. You’re lucky to know him, because not all men would act that way. It’s a frustrating phrase to hear, no matter the context. It is exhausting.
2. ‘Calm down’
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When you’re upset about something, few things feel worse than being told to calm down. It feels so dismissive. You’re clearly having a hard time with something that he did, but he would rather tell you how to act than take a look at his own behavior. This phrase comes across as rude and frustrating.
When a man says this over and over again when people get upset with them, it exhausts everyone around them. They are seeking an apology, or at least accountability being taken. When they refuse to address the situation and point the finger at you by claiming you need to calm down, there is no responsibility taken. It’s frustrating and makes people not want to be around him.
3. ‘I’m just joking’
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You have been offended by something someone has said to you. That’s part of life. How they respond to you when you bring up how it hurt you is what matters. More often than not, a man who blows off your feelings by claiming he was just kidding completely blows off how their words hurt the other person. It’s easier to say it was a joke than it is to apologize. This behavior exhausts everyone around him.
“’Joking’ is the ultimate excuse when you try to push back. It can’t be their fault that you can’t laugh at yourself, right?” notes Ann Pietrangelo for Healthline. “Sometimes, you just can’t let it slide. You want to talk about how negging makes you feel.” When a man brushes off his cruel comments as a joke, he is exhausting to be around.
4. 'I think you mean...'
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Have you ever had a conversation with a man who thinks he is smarter than you? I’m sure we all have. When he feels this way, he can’t hold back his rude phrases. He’ll try to correct you at every turn, looking for ways to find fault in what you’re saying. It’s exhausting to be around a man like this. Whether he means to or not, he makes you feel like you are not smart by constantly correcting you.
Saying ‘I think you mean…’ can sound innocent enough, but with men who are always looking to one-up you or prove how smart they are, this is a layered phrase. They don’t think you truly understand what you are talking about. This phrase is especially exhausting when you are trying to have a serious conversation with him.
5. 'You're overreacting'
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This phrase especially gets under my skin. It is manipulative. Your feelings are valid. You should be allowed to bring up how you feel to the people in your life. When a man meets you with the phrase ‘you’re overreacting’ when you tell him how something makes you feel, it is exhausting.
“When someone says these things to you, it's not an example of inconsiderate behavior. When your spouse shows up half an hour late to dinner without calling -- that's inconsiderate behavior. A remark intended to shut you down, like, ‘Calm down, you're overreacting,’ after you just addressed someone else's bad behavior, is emotional manipulation, pure and simple,” says Yashar Ali for the Huff Post. “And this is the sort of emotional manipulation that feeds an epidemic in our country, an epidemic that defines women as crazy, irrational, overly sensitive, unhinged. This epidemic helps fuel the idea that women need only the slightest provocation to unleash their (crazy) emotions. It's patently false and unfair.”
6. ‘I’m just being honest’
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When a man says something offensive and he blows it off by claiming he was just being honest, it can create real problems. No one wants to be around someone who says whatever they want without thinking. A loose cannon like that can be exhausting to talk to. You can bring up how you feel, but they’ll just blow it off.
Sometimes, brutal honesty is too much. Even if the man does feel that way, it can be better to keep offensive feelings to themselves. It’s difficult for some men to wrap their heads around this. They think being overly honest is a good thing. However, in the majority of social circumstances, it’s frustrating to be around. It’s exhausting to be around someone who never filters their thoughts and writes them off as just being honest.
7. ‘I didn’t mean it like that’
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Sometimes, people can say things that hurt our feelings. It’s common in life. However, it’s how the people react to it that matters. When you bring up how something impacted you that a man said or did, and he responds by saying, ‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ it is exhausting. He is not truly listening to you if he has an excuse.
“There’s a split second — barely even a breath — between the words leaving his mouth and the backpedal kicking in. 'I didn’t mean it like that.' Oh, really? Then why did it come out so smoothly? So timed? So precise? Because men don’t usually fumble their intentions — they fumble when someone calls them on it,” says LSD on Medium. “And let’s be honest — no one says something like that unless they know exactly what they said.”
8. ‘You should smile more’
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Whether you’re walking down the street and a stranger says this to you, or a friend in your life is sick of hearing about your problems and insists you get over it, being told to smile more feels like a punch in the gut. Men who make comments like this are either practicing outdated gender norms by telling you they are more attracted to you when you smile, or they are dismissing your feelings.
Life is hard. You never know what someone is going through. Men who constantly use the phrase ‘you should smile more’ do not take the feelings of their partner or friends seriously. It doesn’t matter the context. Hearing this from a man is exhausting. Eventually, he will push everyone out of his life by saying this.
9. ‘I don’t see the problem’
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Imagine approaching someone with your concerns. It can be something they did directly, or it can be an issue bothering you that you need to vent about. Either way, being met with the phrase ‘I don’t see the problem’ is frustrating. You’re not asking them if they see the problem, but rather, you are telling them what you’re going through. It’s exhausting to be around.
Men have to be willing to find a solution to make themselves less exhausting to be around. “Often, we spend so much energy and effort and even time talking about the offense. You did this, you said this, whatever. And we talk about the offense, but we don’t look at what the solution is. And if we only talk about the offense, that’s going to bring separation,” says Marriage Helper. “At some point, once we’ve identified it, once we voiced it, we have to say then, well, what’s the solution here? How do we fix that? How do we work around that? And if you can do these things, it can help you better influence your husband when he feels like he hasn’t done anything wrong. And you know what? You’ve felt that before. We’ve all felt that before. So a little grace in this situation goes a long way.”
10. ‘You’re just sensitive’
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Few things are more exhausting than a man who claims everyone is sensitive when in reality. His behavior is upsetting those around him. Maybe he makes offensive comments and tries to blow them off by saying you’re the one being sensitive. Or, he can be doing things that hurt the feelings of everyone around them, but they refuse to take accountability because they think everyone has thin skin.
“I’ve long believed that 'you’re too sensitive' is what people say when they’ve said or done something unkind and want you to believe that they haven’t. I’ve considered it a form of gaslighting. Still, when you hear something often enough, you eventually consider the possibility that it might be true,” says Sophia Dembling.
11. ‘Yeah, whatever’
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Having a conversation with someone is important. It allows you to connect. Good communication skills are important. There are men out there who don’t thrive in these situations. You can be talking to them, and they will put you off by saying, ‘yeah, whatever.’
When someone asked if replying with the word ‘whatever’ is rude, commentators on Hub Pages shared what they really think the phrase means. “It’s a disrespectful way of saying, 'I don’t care, ' or 'It doesn't matter.’ In other words, it's not a priority or not important to them, so move on. It's a dismissive statement,” one user wrote.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
