People Almost Always Say These 11 Phrases When They Are Deeply Attracted To You But Don't Want You To Know
Their attraction is more subtle than you realize.
Davide Zanin Photography | Shutterstock While so many of them powerfully resonate with the metaphorical, societal frameworks of romantic love and being attracted to people, the reality is that there’s actually science that predicts how well people will bond and the attraction our brains experience that leads to “falling” in love. Even in small moments, like interacting with someone on a first date or meeting a stranger in passing, people almost always say certain phrases when they are deeply attracted to you but don’t want you to know.
The brain leads in communication and language, and sometimes this attraction is subtle, unbeknownst to the person experiencing it. We don’t always have conscious control over the people we fall for or feel attracted to, because it’s much more nuanced than “love at first sight” or being “compatible.”
People almost always say these 11 phrases when they are deeply attracted to you but don’t want you to know
1. ‘I don’t usually open up like this’
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According to a study from Psychological Bulletin, people who are attracted to others tend to disclose more about themselves, even if it’s entirely subconscious. Helpfully, they also tend to be perceived as more attractive and welcoming when they do so, to a certain extent.
So, if someone always says things like “I don’t usually open up like this” often on a first day or meeting in passing, chances are they are deeply attracted to you and feel safe in your presence, but don’t necessarily want you to know yet.
2. ‘Text me when you make it home’
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On a first date or meeting someone in the first few weeks of knowing them, if they make an effort to ensure you “get home safe” or reach out after the fact to check up on you, chances are they’re more attracted than they’re willing to admit.
According to a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, this kind of immediate responsiveness is often associated with intimacy in dating and relationships. If someone cares enough to send a “get home safe” text or to follow up, they’re attracted to you, or at the very least, care about your well-being to some degree.
3. ‘I can’t take you anywhere’
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Of course, sarcasm and joking around have a time and place in the dating world, but for the most part, the kind of “teasing” and “playing around” that lightens the mood in interactions is a sign of attraction. Not just that, it also tends to create a bond between people, where “inside jokes” and funny moments of connection feel easy and unrestrictive.
Even if it seems friendly at first, this kind of teasing and flirty play is often associated with attraction, according to a study from the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior.
4. ‘You’re doing really well’
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Compliments and praise often boost bonds and connections between people, because we love a shift in conversation from a perceived negative framework toward overtly positive talk, at least according to a study from the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
Even if it’s something subtle like “you’re doing really well” on an activity date — the kind of date that often promotes closeness in every kind of relationship — it’s something people who are secretly deeply attracted to you say often.
5. ‘Let me know if I can help’
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People almost always say phrases like “let me know if I can help” when they are deeply attracted to you, but don’t want to know you to know. People want to help — they want to feel “needed” in subtle ways in daily life — but offering their assistance amid the chaos of their lives is another story.
That’s why a clear offer for advice, emotional support, or general help can be a sign that someone is attracted to you and cares about being perceived in a supportive light.
6. ‘I remembered you don’t like...’
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Positive experiences and situations often lead to less memory retrieval in the long-term, which is why someone remembering small details about you is often a sign that they truly care. It took them effort and their brain more processing power to remember these, but they made an intentional effort with their attraction in mind.
Even if it’s something small like, “I remembered you don’t like creamer in your coffee” or “I remembered you don’t work today,” it’s these little things that add value to any kind of relationship, especially when they’re a means for connection.
7. ‘I saw this and thought of you’
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According to a study from Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, these moments of remembering little things and sharing moments of understanding often prompt closeness between people. If someone’s attracted to you, you won’t just pop into their minds at random times, but also be the person they associate with little moments of joy.
When we’re attracted to people, we think of them often and at random times, so if someone says this to you, they’re more appreciative and considerate of you than it might seem — whether it’s romantic or not.
8. ‘I’d love to hear what you think’
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Attention and responsiveness are often associated with attraction, according to a study from the Journal of Applied Communication Research, so if someone’s interested in what you have to say and thoughtful about making space for you in conversations, they like you.
Even if it’s subtle phrases like “you go first” or “I’d love to hear what you think,” these things are more powerful and insightful than grandiose statements and proclamations of love.
9. ‘I’m listening’
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People almost always say phrases like “I’m listening” when they are deeply attracted to you but don’t want you to know. They care about making space for you in conversations and carving out safe places for you to feel heard.
When people actively listen to others, especially in early interactions and conversations with each other, this kind of attention and responsiveness often breeds closeness and understanding. So, if someone puts in the work of practicing nonverbal attention and reaffirming you in conversations with phrases like “I’m listening to you,” they care.
10. ‘You’re hilarious’
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Laughter is a powerful bonding agent, and often forms strong connections and promotes more intimacy in even nonromantic relationships. In solid relationships, natural laughter together is an indicator of attraction and relationship well-being, but even in early connections, sharing laughter and fun is powerful.
People almost always say things like “you’re hilarious” or “you’re so funny” when they’re attracted to you, because laughter, smiling, bonding, and connection are all inherently interlinked.
11. ‘Oops, I’m so clumsy’
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Small moments of physical touch and affection are often powerful, especially in the first few interactions with a potential partner or someone you find attractive.
According to a study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, nonverbal affection often promotes closeness and signals attraction in relationships, even if they’re new. It’s a mode of connection, even if they’re not saying anything to follow it up, but “I’m so clumsy.”
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
