Study Finds The Most Successful Marriage Proposals Happen At The Most Boring Place You Can Imagine
Where you propose is really important.
Pixel-Shot | Shutterstock When most people are thinking of their perfect marriage proposal, it usually involves something over-the-top and cinematic. But, behind the extravagance lies the actual truth, that most couples genuinely appreciate a proposal that's a lot more toned down and intimate.
Destify, a wedding planning service, scoured through thousands of positive engagement stories on Reddit from the last several years to reveal which settings are the best for I dos. What they found was that most successful marriage proposals aren't the ones in the middle of crowded stadiums or on candlelit beaches, but actually they're happening in the most mundane of places.
The most successful marriage proposals happen in the comfort of most couples' homes.
When looking at the most successful marriage proposals from 2020 to 2025, Destify found that 23.7% took place at home. You heard that right. One in four Reddit engagement stories with a happy outcome took place from the comfort of a couple's abode. They found that it accounts for over a third of all top five mentions, which were outdoors (18.4%), beach (12.4%), restaurant (5.6%), and mountains (3.9%).
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When it comes right down to it, a cozy proposal in pjs on the couch is where it's at for couples who are ready to start their forever together. But isn't that the way with so many things? It's fun to watch or read a romance that is filled with grand gestures and drama, but when it comes to real life, less is always more.
Most women don't want a public proposal.
In research conducted by Lisa Hoplock, Ph.D., a postdoctoral fellow in the College of Nursing at the University of Manitoba, only 15% of women actually want a public proposal. A public proposal is also twice as likely to be rejected as a private one.
There was definitely a time when public marriage proposals were all the rage. A 2017 survey by The Knot found that 45% of wedding proposals occurred in public places. Meanwhile, a report from WeddingWire found that 26% of proposers were inviting their family and friends to witness them popping the big question.
Lisa Brateman, a psychotherapist and relationship specialist, explained that "there is guilt and bullying attached" in these elaborate marriage proposals. In her study, "some men proposed in public to try to save the relationship," or because a private proposal hadn’t given them the answer they were looking for. "It’s a way of putting on the pressure," said Brateman. "How could she turn you down with all those people there?"
Most couples should be discussing their marriage proposals before it actually happens.
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The only way to make sure you're actually on the same page about both marriage and the proposal is to talk about it before it happens. It doesn't mean the surprise factor has to be ruined, but couples should at least discuss how the other person wants it to happen.
They might value a more private proposal over a large, extravagant one, or they might want their family and friends there right away to celebrate. The best proposals are not the ones that just come out of nowhere, but from two people who've already confided in each other and had those conversations.
"Good communication is a key ingredient of healthy relationships. Before you spiral into imagining yourself alone for the rest of your life, have an open conversation with your partner in which you each share your feelings, hopes, and needs," pointed out clinical psychologist Isabelle Morley.
She continued, "Building a life with someone requires hard conversations and compromise, but it doesn't mean sacrificing things that are important to you. Discussing an engagement can give you the chance to look ahead together, sharing your long-term hopes and dreams, and helping you decide if you want to build a wonderful life together or if your paths are too diverging to make it work."
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
