If Someone Points Out These 11 Details, They’re Silently Judging Your Life
The things someone points out about you may show you just how judgmental they really are.
GaudiLab / Shutterstock Judging one another has sadly become a common occurrence within our current society. People will point out different aspects of what makes a person who they are and determine what that means about their life, even when they have no right to do so.
Their judgment is usually the result of their own personal insecurities. Most people who are judgmental will find reasons to judge your life in order to make themselves feel better about their own.
If someone points out these 11 details, they’re silently judging your life
1. The state of your living space
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When someone points out the state of your living space, they may be silently judging your life. When they find details about your living space that do not meet their own standards, they will develop judgmental views regarding your habits and lifestyle.
If someone mentions how they could just never live like you do, it may start to feel as though this judgment is signaling that they believe you and your living space are beneath them. This can be really difficult to deal with because, although previously you were satisfied with the state of your living space, you now may feel like the choices you made regarding your space are undervalued and may have been wrong.
2. Your fashion choices
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Someone pointing out your fashion choices in a judgmental way could be a sign that they are judging your life. Our sense of style can often be a display of our sense of self, but at times it can impact the way we are perceived by others.
People will try to determine what your social and economic status is purely based on what you wear, and then proceed to judge you based on this status. While basing someone's status on what they choose to wear is faulty at best, it also tends to lead to judgments on how competent someone is. People will decide that if someone wears designer clothes, they are intelligent and have made good life decisions, while someone who chooses not to wear name-brand clothing has messed up somehow in their lives.
3. Your manners
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Someone who constantly points out another person’s manners may secretly be judging their life. This person is likely relating your manners to your character, and if they constantly bring up your faults when it comes to manners, there is a chance that it has more to do with them than you.
Judgmental people usually have reasons in their own lives that have resulted in their unhappiness. They develop what can be considered a fault-finding radar, and it is actually doing more damage to themselves than they may think.
“Too much focus on what’s wrong with others can sour your mood in an instant. Depression pulls for either self-devaluation or finding fault with other people or the world as a whole,” according to Dr. Greg Kushnick, a Manhattan-based psychologist.
4. Your conversation habits
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If someone is silently judging your life, they will probably point out your conversation habits. This judgment could arise from dissatisfaction that they have within their own lives. Instead of handling their own deficiencies with their lives or even their communication abilities, they would rather point out yours to try and make themselves feel better.
“What they fail to recognize is that they have big unaddressed problems too and that focusing on the other is an unconscious defense mechanism put into place precisely to take the attention away from the threatening aspects of their own life situations,” explains Michael Schreiner, a therapist at Evolution Counseling.
5. Your social media activity
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When someone is so concerned with your social media activity that they feel a need to constantly point it out, they are silently judging your life. This kind of behavior likely stems from their own insecurities, and in hopes of making themselves feel superior, they choose to judge your online presence.
“Highly critical and judgmental individuals often scrutinize everything and everyone around them, pointing out flaws and focusing on the negative. This behavior can stem from a variety of psychological, emotional, and environmental factors,” according to David Abrams, MAPC, LPC.
They could be dealing with low self-esteem, past traumas, or cognitive distortions that are influencing them to be judgmental as a coping mechanism.
6. How you treat others
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If you realize someone constantly points out how you treat others, they may be silently judging your life. By pointing out your behavior in a critical and judgmental way, you are able to identify that it is not out of a want to be helpful but rather an attempt to reinforce their own beliefs and values. Deep down, they may really believe the opinions that shape your life should be similar to theirs.
If someone believes you should treat others differently, they may comment on the way you treat them to convince you that their opinion is the right way of doing things. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell when someone is actually trying to give you constructive feedback and when they have their own motives behind their judgment, so be very aware of the way someone approaches giving you feedback.
7. How you handle your finances
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When someone points out the way you handle your finances, they may be judging your life. The way people were raised has a huge impact on the way they manage certain aspects of their lives, especially their finances.
If the person judging you has a very different upbringing than you and was raised to handle their money differently, then they have been raised to believe that that is the correct way to manage money. Therefore, their judgment stems from the money mindset that was ingrained in them as they grew up, and it is what influences them to question this aspect of your life. There is also the potential that a person has a deep-rooted fear of not being financially stable and, due to this anxiety, they project their fears onto you and your financial choices.
8. Your body language
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When you notice someone often points out your body language, there is a good chance that they are judging your life. Their judgment of your life is a reflection of how they truly feel about themselves and their deep need for control.
By shifting their focus onto you, the way you carry yourself, and your life, they are able to forget about their own issues and find reason to blame any conflict on you and your body language. Attacking your non-verbal communication is also a way that they assert their dominance over the situation. If they are feeling insecure about their lives, they want to judge yours so they can find reasons to make you insecure as well.
9. Your relationship status
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If someone cannot help but point out your relationship status, they are most likely judging your life. Societal norms place an importance on finding a partner, and people tend to believe that based on their relationship status, they can actually tell a lot about someone's life.
Some people correlate happiness, success, and stability with finding a partner to spend their life with. They may find the values that you have towards relationship status hard to accept, and it will result in them judging that aspect of your life.
10. Your decisions
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When someone constantly points out the decisions you make, they are showing signs of judging your life. This most likely stems from their need for validation for the decisions they make.
Paying close attention to your decisions and judging the way they impact your life is a way of trying to better understand the kinds of decisions they should make and using it as validation for their decisions. Making you feel bad about the decision you make may also make them feel better about their own decisions, and it may be their way of coping with the impacts those have made on their own life.
11. Your hobbies and interests
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Someone who points out your hobbies and interests in a critical way is likely silently judging your life. If someone finds it upsetting that you have things in your life that provide you with happiness, it is mainly because they feel like they do not.
This jealousy is what drives them to be so critical and judgmental about your life and hobbies. It is important to realize that if someone is being judgmental towards you, it is usually because they have insecurities of their own or they have been influenced to feel certain ways due to their upbringing or societal norms.
Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.
