It Took Me 40 Years To Learn These 6 Magic Things — Don't Wait As Long As I Did
Don't wait decades to learn the life lessons that will finally set you free.
MariaDubova | Canva At 40, I still make lots of mistakes. These are essential sources of information that drive me forward as long as I am willing to see these setbacks as valuable guides.
Life has a way of teaching us its most valuable lessons when we're finally ready to receive them. The insights that follow didn't arrive with fanfare or dramatic revelation. Instead, they emerged quietly over four decades of living, learning, and occasionally stumbling forward.
It took me 40 years to learn these 6 magic things — don't wait as long as I did:
1. You already built the perfect system for your current life
A ‘system’ may sound like a clever thing that took careful thought and complex planning, but a system can be as simple as brushing your teeth daily. You avoid cavities because you brush daily without fail.
We all have a system, and we’re all living with the results of last month’s system. Why do we need to know this? Because it simplifies life and makes life more predictable.
We can tidy up our systems so that we get more of what we want and less of what we don’t. What’s your system, and what can you do to create a system that gets you what you want?
2. Mistakes are never wasted — they're your best teachers
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The more we try to avoid making mistakes, the worse our performance becomes. Mistake avoidance makes us physically uptight. You know this. So, to allow mistake-making frees us and makes us do better. When I grasped this, I could finally let go, which improved my life in all areas.
When you're not constantly braced for failure, your shoulders relax, your breathing deepens, and your mind becomes clearer. One study argued that you'll be able to make decisions faster because you're not paralyzed by the chance of being wrong.
3. Failure only exists in someone else's opinion
Everything we do provides us with valuable information. ‘Good’ and ‘bad’ are just made-up concepts.
Either what we did should be repeated because it helped us, or it should be left alone because the outcome did not serve us. You can’t fail when ‘failures’ provide insight.
4. Challenges aren't punishments — they're opportunities to grow
Man, did this one turn my life around. Most people operate under the unfulfilling life strategy of avoiding things that appear to be the root of their dissatisfaction. Cut things that drain your energy that you can avoid, yes.
But many things that cause stress are inevitable. Challenges at work or in the family, for example. For these things, see them as opportunities to stay calm through perceived sources of pain. The better you get at this, the stronger you become, and the more you garner respect.
5. Success always takes longer than you want it to
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We hate to see poor engagement and anemic results. But those who go far always stay with it and handle those moments of poor traction — when most quit — because they expect it to be like this — certainly at the start. Expect poor results, and you will do precisely what is needed to succeed: to stay in the game for the long term.
6. People will disappoint you — expect it and free yourself
One of our most significant sources of stress and disappointment comes from wanting others to behave differently from the way they do. We expect someone to respect us. We expect love. We expect reciprocation.
That’s a fool’s game and will make you bitter. All we can do is make agreements with people with whom we shake hands.
That solidifies our intentions and helps both parties hold themselves accountable. Beyond that, you can’t fail in relationships when you cease to have expectations, love unconditionally, and see the good people bring as a bonus.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
