If A Wife No Longer Loves Her Husband, She'll Start Saying These 11 Things Casually
The things a woman says may indicate whether or not she's fallen out of love.
iona didishvili / Shutterstock When a marriage starts lacking in certain areas, at least one of the two partners is going to notice the changes. This can cause love to wane, leading to deep feelings of being undervalued and a need to prioritize oneself by disengaging from the relationship.
While communicating the newfound emotions resulting from changed behaviors is the best first step towards resolving issues in a relationship, if a wife has been feeling unheard, she is not always going to blatantly tell her husband what's been going on. However, there are some things a wife may say to her husband that could signal that she is falling out of love.
If a wife no longer loves her husband, she'll start saying these 11 things casually
1. 'I don't need you to take care of me'
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If at one point in time, a wife loved being taken care of by her husband, but now says she doesn’t need her husband to take care of her, she may have fallen out of love. Saying that she no longer needs him to take care of her could be her way of signaling that she is ready for more independence and is slowly emotionally detaching.
She may have regained a desire to handle things alone and wants to experience this outside of her marriage. She could also be emotionally detached from the relationship if she finds it hard to lean on her husband as a provider and support system.
2. 'I'm not really interested in talking about that'
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When a wife no longer loves her husband, she will most likely lack interest in talking about certain things with him. This lack of wanting to speak could be the result of an emotional disconnect happening within the relationship, and could lead to her wanting to walk away from the relationship.
Losing the desire to be invested in certain topics of conversation can signify that she feels like there is no point in investing in conversations that could potentially lead to conflict, because when she has before, she has not felt heard.
“Relationships require effort from both partners, and when one person feels unheard or neglected, it can lead to an emotional disconnect. This can lead to 'walkaway wife syndrome' — a term that describes when, seemingly out of nowhere, women leave their marriage after years of feeling ignored,” explains Cayla Gensler, a licensed couples therapist who works with Thrive Therapy Phoenix, a mental health practice in Arizona that provides therapy to individuals and couples.
3. 'I'm tired of trying'
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When a wife begins feeling emotionally exhausted and hopeless in a relationship, she may start falling out of love and will casually say that she is tired of trying. This emotional exhaustion and hopelessness can result from feeling unheard or feeling like she’s had to carry the emotional load of the relationship alone.
“Emotional disengagement may be her method of shielding herself from more pain or disappointment,” according to Hola Health, an on-demand health provider that provides mental health care for individuals. When she no longer feels like trying or explaining her feelings, the relationship will suffer.
4. 'We're fine'
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In an attempt to preserve the relationship and protect her partner’s feelings, a wife who no longer loves her husband may say that their relationship is fine even when it's not. There are several potential reasons why she may feel that the relationship actually isn’t fine.
If she feels that the emotional connection between her and her husband is suffering, or if conflict arises and they struggle to resolve it, it may cause her to view the relationship in a negative light and lose her sense of love. For a woman to feel fulfilled in her marriage, her husband needs to hear her out about her emotions and create a safe space in the relationship for conflict.
5. 'I don't know what you expect me to say'
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If a wife no longer loves her husband, she may say she does not know what her husband expects her to say in the midst of conflict. This could be a sign that she is emotionally withdrawn from the relationship and is having a hard time finding the right way to express herself.
“The types of people who respond with 'I don’t know…' or don’t share their feelings very openly are often the people we call 'withdrawers' because in a relationship conflict, they are the ones who leave the room, stonewall, or just go blank,” explains the Relate Foundation.
While responding in this way may seem as though the wife no longer cares at all, she actually struggles to find the right response and may not feel emotionally secure enough in the relationship to give any response.
6. 'I can do this on my own'
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Most wives know that their husbands feel a need to provide and care for them, so when she says she can do those things and other things on her own, it's a sign that she may no longer be in love. When she stops prioritizing making sure these needs of her husband are met, it shows that she has decided to value her own needs over his.
She may feel like the emotional connection between them is missing, and her values are not being respected as much as she has respected her husband’s. As a result, she will start looking out for her own values and doing things on her own.
7. 'You wouldn't understand'
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After so much time of feeling unheard and having to overly explain herself, a wife who no longer loves her husband will casually start saying that he just wouldn’t understand. If at any time she has tried communicating her feelings with him, he responds by being defensive and makes no effort to understand her emotionally, she will feel a disconnect within the relationship.
This disconnect will result in her distancing herself and not wanting to explain her feelings anymore. “There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to share your thoughts or feelings with your partner only to experience deflection or defensiveness. Being vulnerable and expressing your innermost needs and desires can be terrifying. If you’re met with resistance or feel unheard, you might experience a sense of abandonment or even shame,” explains Andra Brosh, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist.
8. 'I don't care either way'
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When a wife starts feeling neutral about certain things and tells her husband she does not care either way, she may no longer be in love with him. After so long of feeling powerless in the relationship and knowing that even when she does speak up, it doesn’t make a difference, she will start responding differently.
When she just starts to go along with whatever her husband wants and feels too exhausted to fight for what she actually wants, it becomes obvious that she is falling out of love, explains Vikas Keshri, the clinical director of Bloom Clinical Care. This behavior shows indifference and a lack of care within the overall relationship.
9. 'You're on your own with that'
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A loving relationship usually consists of both partners being a team and wanting to handle every situation together. When a wife starts telling her husband that he is on his own to deal with things, there is a good chance that she is no longer in love with him.
The main cause of this kind of behavior is an emotional disconnect between the two partners. Experiencing an emotional disconnect in a relationship leads to the partner feeling unheard or having needs unmet to withdraw their feelings and support towards their partner to prioritize themselves and avoid being vulnerable.
10. 'I think we're just different people now'
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At the beginning of the relationship, both partners may have been supportive of one another and eager to understand and appreciate the emotions that each person was feeling. Sometimes that does not always last, and this change in character could cause a wife who is falling out of love to tell her husband that they are just different people now.
This change could cause her to feel less valued. When she begins feeling like her emotions and her wants and needs are no longer significant to her husband, she will feel as though the connection has lost its positive spark.
11. 'I don't have the energy to do this right now'
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When a wife tells her husband that she does not have the energy to do this right now, she is signaling her loss of love and her emotional exhaustion. If she has felt like the weight of the relationship lies solely on her shoulders, she most likely has been feeling burnt out by the relationship.
The dynamic feels unhealthy and burdensome, so she will start to disengage from it. If her husband wants to rekindle the love they once shared, he should first start by reflecting on their relationship and aiming to understand the behaviors that have caused his wife to fall out of love.
Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.
