11 Things People With Common Sense Find Exhausting But Don’t Seem To Bother Anyone Else At All
People with common sense often find themselves drained by people who lack self-awareness and intention.
brizmaker / Shutterstock While what counts as common sense is generally subjective, it’s often characterized by the cluster of beliefs and judgments that most people in a given culture share. In short, a person with common sense generally has the basic knowledge, social awareness, and emotional intelligence one needs to thrive.
That said, many of the things people with common sense find exhausting but don’t seem to bother anyone else at all paint a better picture of the differences between those who possess common sense and those who do not. Whether the issue is superficial relationships, ignorance, or petty arguments, many of these things are inherently offensive and annoying for someone who operates with a basic level of tact, common sense, and self-awareness.
Here are 11 things people with common sense find exhausting but don’t seem to bother anyone else at all
1. Unnecessary competition
Whether it’s a fake friend harboring jealousy, a co-worker seeking constant praise, or toxic family members, unnecessary competition is one of the things people with common sense find exhausting. They know that many of the factors contributing to success in life, such as happiness, joy, money, and love, are in limitless supply, so there’s no reason to drive a disconnection between people trying to compete for them.
As a study published in the Journal of Psychology suggests, it’s often the most insecure people, motivated by external validation, praise, and attention, who are also the most competitive. For people with common sense, who also have a baseline level of self-awareness, self-esteem, and respect for others, they’re comfortable with celebrating other people’s success without sacrificing their own.
2. People who brag about everything
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Bragging, flaunting success, and “one-uppers” are all things people with common sense find incredibly exhausting, not just because they tend to shift conversational social dynamics for the worse, but because they’re plainly annoying.
Of course, they also recognize the pitfalls of bragging about things before they’re a reality, like someone who talks about and flaunts their goals without taking any action or realizing the success. Psychology professor Marwa Azab suggests that it’s these same people who tend to sabotage their productivity and achievement, taking away the relief and motivation associated with setting and actually achieving goals.
3. Subtle disrespect
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Many people tolerate subtle disrespect in their lives, not always because they lack the self-esteem to advocate for themselves, but because they don’t recognize it in the first place. From interactions with co-workers, to fake friends, and even family members, it’s people with common sense who recognize when their needs aren’t met and when their boundaries are being subtly overstepped.
Of course, relationships thrive when there are clear boundaries to be respected. When they’re disrespected, continually and even after they’ve been reset, it’s emotionally exhausting and disillusioning for the person who needs them to thrive.
As psychologist Bethany Juby argues, boundaries will never control another person’s behavior or actions. Still, they can be a tool for protecting yourself against disrespect, reminding people of the behavior you’re willing to tolerate and what you’re not. People with common sense typically only communicate their boundaries once or twice. When they’re consistently crossed and tolerated, they know it’s at the expense of their well-being.
4. Complaints without action
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While complaining about things and venting about emotions can bring a sense of momentary relief and bonding, as a study published in the International Journal of Social Psychiatry suggests, when they’re engaged consistently without action, they can spark much poorer outcomes. They not only eat up a lot of time in otherwise engaging and meaningful conversations, but they also tend to promote more stress, negativity, anxiety, and depression in the people nearby.
Of course, even people with common sense complain and vent in their relationship from time to time, but they always follow their words up with some kind of action. They’re not going to vent about a friend and then keep ignoring their misbehavior or complain about a poor dynamic at work without making a plan to address it.
That’s why this is one of the things people with common sense find exhausting that don’t seem to bother anyone else at all. They’re tired of hearing the same things over and over again with no change.
5. People who are always in a crisis
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Many people who constantly surround themselves with drama, complain about their lives, and seem to be in a crisis 24/7 are the same people that those with common sense find exhausting. Of course, helping others and expressing needs can lead to better mental health and relationships, but seeking attention by venting about your problems all of the time does the opposite.
Especially in relationships and conversations that are inherently unbalanced toward the person who’s constantly in crisis, it can encourage others to take on their emotional burdens, trying to be helpful and supportive, at the expense of their own social needs.
6. Toxic workplaces
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More than 25% of workers dread going to work every day, not just because they’re physically tired or bored, but because they’re grappling with the consequences of financial turmoil or a toxic workplace. From bad bosses, to terrible co-workers, and even feelings of being overworked and underpaid, toxic workplaces are one of the things people with common sense find exhausting that other people tend to tolerate.
Especially for older generations that’ve grown accustomed to endless loyalty to their employers, they’ve tolerated toxic workplaces for decades and learned to cope in their own, often unhealthy and misguided, ways. For people with common sense, it’s important to find a safe and secure career, especially if they’re going to spend the majority of their life dealing with it.
7. People with no self-awareness
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From talking on speakerphones in public to walking slowly in crowded areas on their phone, people who lack self-awareness, especially in public, are one of the things people with common sense find exhausting, but don’t seem to bother anyone else at all.
Especially for introverted and highly socially aware people, who also tend to be more sensitive and observant, according to introvert expert Jenn Granneman, these unsuspecting habits and mentalities can drain their social batteries and emotional capacity.
8. People who are always late
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According to psychiatrist Neel Burton, many people who are late aren’t unreliable because they’re trying to communicate some kind of message to others, but rather because they’re struggling with time management, intelligence, willpower, and self-knowledge. They lack the common sense needed to plan their days and schedule out their responsibilities, so they end up subtly disrespecting other people by falling short on their promises and commitments.
Of course, it’s also possible that people don’t respect whoever they’re showing up late for, reminding them that they care more about personal comfort and convenience than respecting their time. That’s why this will always be one of the things people with common sense find exhausting, because when they have an issue or concern with someone, they communicate it healthily like an adult.
9. People who talk more than they listen
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Having the skills to actively listen to others and help them feel heard in conversations is truly a superpower, but it’s also a practice that anyone can invest in. Whether it’s asking thoughtful questions, being present, or leveraging open body language to signal engagement, great listeners are often the quietest people, giving others space to express themselves.
When it’s obvious that people are just waiting to talk in a conversation or distracting themselves while you’re speaking, it can feel uncomfortable and frustrating, which is why it’s one of the things people with common sense find exhausting.
10. Over-complications
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Whether it’s overly complex language, “gate-keeping,” or reading too deeply into social interactions and words, over-complications in daily life in a way that excludes people from feeling understood and valued, are some of the things people with common sense find exhausting, but don’t seem to bother anyone else at all.
For many people, exclusion is their only way to feel important, which is why they use corporate lingo, overcomplicated language, dress codes, and financial bragging to assert their misguided intelligence and prestige. For people with common sense, connecting with others and feeling important looks entirely different, rooted in their healthy relationships, self-assuredness, and confidence.
Of course, exclusionary behavior and subtle things like using over-complex language often sabotage a person’s social perception, making them seem less confident, competent, and intelligent than others.
11. Drama and gossip
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A study published in the Behavior Research and Therapy journal found that people who accept hard situations, intentionally bond with others, and accept their life as it is are happier than their pessimistic counterparts. Even if everyone else is complaining, engaging in gossipy conversations, or sparking drama in their daily life, people with common sense are more secure letting things be.
That’s why drama and gossip are some of the things people with common sense find exhausting to be around. It not only taints their mood and sparks more negativity in their lives, but it also tends to sabotage their healthy relationships in the long term.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
