4 Traits Women With ‘The Other Woman’ Energy Have That Attract Insecure, Disloyal Men
They're usually attracted to women who can boost their egos.
ANASTASIA SHIYANOVA | unsplash This is your reminder to anyone who needs to hear it: men who are disloyal are feeding their insecurity by choosing the chaos and fantasy of the "other woman." Remember, he's not attracted to her because she's better than you.
Men who struggle with their self-confidence and self-worth often seek a specific kind of attention from women, which makes it easier for them to avoid confronting their own shortcomings. This "other woman" becomes less of a real person in their minds and more of a temporary escape from having to be vulnerable and take responsibility in order to make a healthy relationship last.
1. She's naive
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For the most part, insecure and disloyal men tend to look for women who are naive because they know that they'll believe anything they have to say. They enjoy women who don't demand accountability. Because he feels less than, he wants to be with someone who will play into the illusion that he's actually someone he's not.
This is exactly why licensed social worker Rick Reynolds explained that confronting your partner's affair partner won't help. He said, "It is interesting how often a hurting mate believes the affair partner will tell them the truth and sorrowfully see the error of their ways once they realize the pain they have caused. It is far more common for the affair partner to lie and manipulate the situation."
A naive woman will believe in the facade. It allows him to hide his flaws and lies without consequence. She's more likely to just give him the benefit of the doubt or assume the best because she may not know any better. An insecure man's biggest fear is being exposed, after all, and he knows with a naive woman, that will never happen.
2. She's cheap
Insecure and disloyal men don't want to invest in their relationship with the "other woman." Since they already have a partner at home, they may buy something for her, but because she may not like it, he'll just regift it to the woman that he's seeing on the side. Since she doesn't know any better, she'll assume that he bought it for her, meaning that he doesn't ever have to put in any extra effort or time into making her feel special.
You're probably asking yourself how a woman could let herself be treated so inconsequentially. Affair specialist Wayne Baker explained, "This woman is someone who's willing to settle for scraps. She has such low self-esteem, she is willing to take whatever time she can get. She's available at his beck and call, but when demands are placed on him, she rarely warrants a response. Fear of losing the relationship keeps her hanging on, especially since she has no real sense of self."
A woman who isn't expecting a lot financially feels like a win to him. She doesn't require real dates or even thoughtful gifts that he put his heart into finding. She's simply satisfied with the bare minimum, and that makes her automatically appealing to a man who can't even afford to go over the top, and also doesn't care to either.
3. She's easily distracted
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One of the biggest traits that an insecure man looks for in the "other woman" is someone who can be easily redirected. She's someone who gets distracted easily and doesn't make a big fuss about things because she simply can't be bothered. He doesn't want to answer to his affair partner. He wants to do what he wants without consequence.
He will never let her know what's really going on. He might start lying about separating from his wife when he knows that it's not going to happen. He'll claim that his wife is just "dragging out the process" when in reality, he plans on staying married to her for as long as she doesn't know about his infidelity. The "other woman" will end up believing everything that he says because he's able to easily convince her and get away with it.
4. She's willing to validate him
All insecure men want is to be made to feel more powerful than they are. They want to be with a woman who will validate every single thing they do and say because they tend to rely on this kind of praise to boost their egos, which are always fragile. He wants someone who's going to compliment him, tell him he's smart, successful, and attractive.
He wants the kind of attention that will mask the fact that he feels inferior. It ends up creating the illusion that he's someone who's admired, even when that's not the case, and it allows him to get that admiration without doing anything to earn it.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
