Experts Say These 8 Cringe Signs Mean You’re The Other Woman — Or Worse, One Of Many
If these signs sound familiar, you may not be the only woman in his life.
Gabriel Dizzi | Unsplash Have you ever been in a relationship and wondered where your man is? Have you wondered why he takes secret phone calls? Have you ever questioned why, after all this time, you still haven’t met his family?
It’s probably because you're the other woman. There are many telltale signs you're his side chick, but one study argues that as women, we get so caught up in the emotions, good intimacy, and sweet nothings that sometimes we're too blind to see them. Here are eight signs you're not his main chick you should look out for.
Experts say these cringeworthy signs mean you’re the other woman or worse, one of many:
1. He only calls you between 9 AM and 5 PM
Unfortunately, if he doesn't come rushing home to you after work, you're not his priority (and probably not his only woman). But if he works nights, this doesn't apply to you.
2. He never has his phone on after 5 PM
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After five is family time, so his focus may be on his wife and not on you. He must first satisfy his responsibilities before he can play with you. (Again, if he works nights, this probably doesn't apply to you.)
When men prioritize family after work, they are better able to invest in their relationships with partners and children, fostering supportive connections. A 2016 study argues that missing out on important family events due to work can lead to strained relationships and a sense of disconnection.
3. He only texts you, never calls
Two words: Red. Flag. Why wouldn’t your guy want to hear your beautiful voice? C'mon ladies.
According to love and dating coach Ronnie Ann Ryan, "The point of breadcrumbing is to string you along. They want to keep you in their roster of women who boost their ego by texting or connecting through social media. This makes them feel wanted, desired, and popular."
4. He whispers on the phone with you like he's undercover
Girl, he’s hiding in the bathroom like he’s an undercover brother. That’s not cool. He knows he’s been feeding you some good lines, good intimacy, and good times — he wants to keep you. When his wife is sleeping, he’s making his secret plans to catch up with you.
Dr. Fabienne Slama, from her own experience, stated, "A friend asked me a powerful question: How much pain/joy ratio can you live with?" My ratio was 70 percent pain/30 percent joy. At some point, I passed that level, and I left."
5. He booty-calls you
Now, if this is cool with you, do your thing. But I’m pretty sure it’s not because you've fallen for this guy, and he simply can't give you what you want. He only wants to come over, touch you up, and leave.
6. He still hasn't given you any personal details about his life
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If you've been seeing each other for a while, yet you still don't know where he lives, that's a big red flag. What’s the big secret? He probably has another family! Truth is, there may be some potential life-threatening things that you just don’t know about him — know before you go.
7. He still hasn't introduced you to his family
If you still haven’t met his friends, family, or loved ones, it’s because you can’t. On some rare occasions, he will bring you to meet his friends and family, and they won’t say a word because they're loyal to him.
8. He flat-out said you're not the only one he's seeing
This one is a no-brainer. He already told you that you are not his only woman, but for some reason, you don’t want to believe it. Sorry, it’s true.
If this is you, you may want to rethink and/or re-evaluate your relationship. You don’t have to settle for this. If he cares for you, you'll be his only woman — don’t settle for something less than you deserve! Know that you're great and find someone worthy of you.
Tanisha Sapp is a counselor and founder of New Level Empowerment and Consultation, LLC. She has over 10 years of experience in the human services field and specializes in trauma-focused counseling with adolescents and adults.
