11 Phrases Women Absolutely Hate Hearing From A Man
There are many phrases women hate hearing from men, but these are the worst.
GaudiLab / Shutterstock I once read a comment that was so true about men. Most women have seen men manage to talk their way out of getting a chance at a date. Seeing a man actually talk his way into a date, on the other hand, is a rare feat indeed.
Having seen it happen in real-time, I can say that a staggering number of men would be far more popular with women if they avoided saying certain things. Even if you think it’s witty or smart to say certain things, silence is the best policy. If you’re struggling with talking to ladies, guys, I have some advice for you. Don’t say these lines below. Women are sick and tired of hearing them and saying these things will make you look bad.
These are 11 phrases women absolutely hate hearing from a man
1. ‘If you just changed [X], you’d be perfect’
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This is one of those things men do that totally baffles me. There are a million reasons why you shouldn’t do this. After all, receiving unsolicited advice is actually proven by science to be a stressful event. Stressing women out does not make them want to date you.
First off, women generally aren’t asking guys what they think about them. Second, saying something like this is rude, and most women don’t dress up for the sake of men. Third, you’re making a lot of assumptions about what she wants to look like, who she wants to impress, and whether she is interested in hearing what you have to say.
There are literally no good outcomes that can come from saying this to a woman. Why do guys do that?!
2. ‘You should smile more’
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Oh man, this is another thing you should avoid telling women at all costs. Rudeness aside, this is a phrase that often gets thrown at women who are not having a good day. It often reinforces the social concept that women must smile at all times, often putting aside their feelings.
Many women also feel like men use this phrase as a form of control. Even if that’s not your intention, it’s a bad idea to say it. Imagine if your dog died and someone told you to smile. You’d hate that, right? Guys, don’t do this to women.
3. ‘Women these days are golddiggers’
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Yikes on bikes. Few things are as off-putting as men who accuse women of using them for money on a date. If you’re worried about being used for money, you shouldn’t be dating the women who worry you.
Statistically speaking, it’s also unlikely. Women are now more likely to be the breadwinners of a home than men are. So, if anything, women should be worried about men using them for cash!
4. ‘Why are you so sensitive, anyway?’
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This is a phrase men use when women get offended by men who say tone-deaf things to them. It’s used by men who are generally trying to get women to calm down and control the situation when they aren’t socially adept enough to do so well.
Most women have heard this from an abusive ex or an abusive ex of a friend. Do not make that mistake. It’s not a good look.
5. ‘Of course, women like you don’t go for a nice guy like me’
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There are literally thousands of essays explaining why women don’t like men who market themselves as “Nice Guys,” but I’ll reiterate the basics. Being “nice” isn’t something you do to get a date. It’s the bare minimum of being a member of society.
Good men do not expect women to date them just because they’re superficially nice. They also wouldn’t want to pressure a woman into dating them out of guilt. Good men want women who want them.
If you don’t care if a woman’s even interested in you, you’re not a good man. You’re a guy wanting a cookie for being “nice,” whatever that means.
6. ‘If you were more approachable, you’d be married by now’
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This goes back to the whole thing I mentioned about unsolicited advice. Gents, you might think you’re doing her a favor, but you’re not. Contrary to popular belief, not all women want to be married. If they do want to marry, they are likely already on their journey for a partner, so don’t worry about it.
This phrase tends to have a really bad reputation among women. Most women hear this from men they wouldn’t want to date, often shortly after they rejected them.
7. ‘ You have to understand, a woman ... [literally anything explaining how women work]'
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Men don’t experience women’s bodies the way women do, nor do they know what it’s like to live as a woman. That means you’re likely unqualified to dispense advice on the inner workings of the female body and mind.
Unless you are a doctor, a therapist, a psychologist, or a gynecologist, you should not tell women how their anatomy works, how their minds work, or why they are attracted to certain people. This is unsolicited advice that can actually turn dangerous. Giving bad advice on a woman’s anatomy can kill her if she ends up following your orders.
Sadly, many guys didn’t get the memo on this, which is why there are literal humor message boards making fun of how bad some of the advice can be.
8. ‘You’re too emotional to handle this’
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Another thing women don’t like to hear involves accusations surrounding emotions. For centuries, men have painted women as the more emotional gender, often to the point of calling them irrational.
Studies have proven that women are not more emotional than men. This phrase (and ones like it) are just pure and simple stereotyping.
9. ‘You don’t need a career, a man will take care of you’
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This phrase is often said to younger women who are career-oriented or highly ambitious. While some men might say this as a way to be kind to women, it’s not good advice, nor is it kind. It’s patronizing.
Women have the right to pursue a career. Even if they marry, there’s no saying that their husband will stick around for decades. It’s smart to be able to stand up on your own two feet. That’s why encouraging women to reach their goals is an attractive thing to do.
10. ‘Why are you single?’
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While this is often said by men trying to flirt with women, it’s not a good line to use. It often puts the woman on the spot in an accusatory way. Sometimes, singledom just happens. Not everyone is lucky or even interested in a partner.
A better option would be to compliment her on choosing to wait until the right person comes around.
11. ‘Your biological clock is ticking, you'd better find a man soon!’
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This is such a weird, intrusive, and pushy thing to say. This is one of those things that just comes off as creepy to most women, and rightfully so. No one has the right to get so invested in the family life of another person, especially a stranger.
Men who say this also don’t know what is going on with the woman in question. They may be opening up a deep wound if she’s struggling with infertility, a breakup that prevented her from having kids, or the death of a spouse.
Moreover, the whole “biological clock” thing? That’s a myth. All this phrase does is make it seem like you want her to settle for anyone with a pulse just so she’s with a guy. It’s beyond gross and unbelievably inappropriate. Don't say it unless you want to alienate yourself from her.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
