People Who Need A Glass Of Wine To Unwind Every Night Often Have These 5 Habits Without Realizing
Relaxing with a nightly drink might seem harmless, but there might be more going on under the surface.
Lany-Jade Mondou | Pexels America was once referred to as a melting pot, but more accurately could be called a pickling vat. We live in an alcohol-saturated culture, from beer bros to wine moms, happy hours to pub crawls. Not drinking at a social event, or refusing a drink to "wind down after a hard day," is seen as socially unacceptable. How many times have we heard, "Oh, you can have just one drink, it won't hurt," from an over-friendly uncle or sarcastic aunt?
Alcohol has become hyper-normalized, as we've heard the dismissive, "Is wine even alcohol?" and to no surprise. Alcohol is a huge industry, generating loads of capital from a captivated audience. Alcohol is a numbing agent that falsely enables us to "get through another day." Yet, there is no lack of evidence of alcohol's destructive force on human health and social well-being if a harmless habit becomes something more worrisome.
People who need a glass of wine to unwind every night often have these five habits without realizing:
1. They aren't great at handling hard feelings
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Life coach Sidhharrth S. Kumaar observes how most people who have crossed into needing wine to relax downplay the importance or the effects of drinking regularly, either to themselves, to others, or both. It's a way for the mind to protect itself. Alcohol numbs us from facing any discomfort, humiliation, or deeper emotional demands that are underlying the need to drink.
One of the biggest downplays is the word glass. "The alcohol content in a wine glass is likely to be underestimated in population surveys as wine strength and serving size have increased in recent years," explained a 2016 study. The research showed how underestimation leads to a discrepancy in the "association between average alcohol intake and risk of mortality from all causes, cardiovascular disease, and cancer."
2. They default to quick fixes
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Seeing wine as the easiest, most dependable method to "switch off," they could dismiss alternatives such as exercise, meditation, conversation, or other mindful habits, continues coach Kumaar. Mindfulness exercises are usual in recovery from alcohol dependence, as shown by a 2012 study, so it makes sense that practicing mindfulness is a better way to unwind than alcohol, even for the person who "needs a glass of wine to unwind."
3. They treat the stress, not the source
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For many people who "need" a glass of wine, the habit isn't really about the wine, advises Gloria Brame, PhD. It's about relying on external fixes instead of developing internal coping skills.
The pattern is predictable. I've had clients who swallow down stress all day with no self-care mechanisms to mitigate the pressure. Instead of addressing tension as it arises, they suppress it until the end of the workday when it feels overwhelming. Wine becomes their automatic go-to for self-medication, a band-aid that masks the problem without solving it. This technique introduces new stresses if wine consumption starts to spiral.
Wine can also be emotionally numbing. This proves equally self-defeating for both stress and self-esteem. After a long day of suppressed stress, many people find themselves flooded with hurtful or self-critical thoughts. They use wine to dull their minds and "float away" from the internal chaos. Unfortunately, this strategy backfires, often leading to substance-dependency issues while the underlying emotions remain unprocessed.
The habit of drinking is a habit of avoiding healthy coping strategies. Instead of learning that feelings can be managed through kinder approaches: deep breathing, body scans, gentle yoga, or other forms of self-care, they simply cover up real emotions that should be addressed and healthfully managed. Unlike alcohol, the self-care process is a genuine remedy that builds lasting resilience to life's stresses.
4. They struggle to regulate their emotions
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Because alcohol can become addictive, points out life counselor Larry Michel, it's important to distinguish between rituals and needs or desires. For example, nightly wine may act as a reliable and comforting ritual that signals the transition from stress to relaxation. Subtle irritability without an evening drink points to habitual reliance on alcohol’s calming effects and potential dependency on it to regulate emotional states.
5. They chase quick hits of pleasure
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We inherit the experiences of at least three generations of our ancestors in our DNA, and all three of mine are Irish Catholics and drank too much, author Meghann McNiff shares from her lived experience. Alcohol is what my body knows. Alcohol releases dopamine in our brain, the feel-good neurotransmitter. Every time we reach for a drink for our dopamine, we become more dependent.
Humans repeat behaviors that release dopamine. This survival instinct has us susceptible to nonsense marketing, based on eugenics, that says something is wrong with you if you can’t control yourself. If you feel secretly worried or ashamed of your drinking, I want you to hear that there is nothing wrong with you — it’s the alcohol. Alcohol is bad for us. All of us.
"While some people find that drinking alcohol helps them fall asleep more easily, alcohol ultimately hurts sleep," warns the Sleep Foundation. "Even in moderate amounts, alcohol consumed in the hours before bedtime can cost you sleep and leave you feeling tired the next day. Based on data from roughly 160,000 Sleep Foundation profiles, nearly 90% of respondents who regularly consume alcohol in the evening have reported at least one sleep-related problem."
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
