11 Subtle Signs You're Being Loved Right, According To Psychology
Are you being loved in the best way possible? Not just by other people, but by yourself?
dekazigzag | Shutterstock While healthy relationships are generally characterized by trust, open communication, and affection on a high level, according to a Frontiers in Psychology study, not every healthy dynamic between partners takes the same shape. Everyone’' needs are different, from what they expect from a partner to what fulfills and energizes them internally.
However, there are several subtle signs you're being loved right, according to psychology experts, that are relatively universal — whether you're in a committed intimate relationship, bonding healthily with family members, or even nurturing a solid inner circle of friends. Even if there are a million other stressors and uncertainties in your life right now, consider these experiences as a reminder of the beauty we often overlook, fueled by connection, community, and unconditional love.
Here are 11 subtle signs you're being loved right, according to psychology
1. You trust their advice
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Giving and receiving advice can be incredibly profound and powerful, according to a study from Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, as it not only supports the person receiving, but makes the giver feel important and valued in a relationship.
Of course, there's a time and a place for this advice, but one of the subtle signs you're being loved right, according to psychology, is a comfort with the advice that person gives you. If you trust them enough to take their advice and hear them out in conversations, chances are they've already proven to you that they care about you and your best interests.
2. You feel safe in your vulnerability
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If you're constantly suppressing emotions, avoiding conflict, and turning away from vulnerability in your life, you're not only putting your mental health at risk, you're sabotaging any chance at building meaningful relationships with other people.
One of the subtle signs you're being loved right is a level of comfort with vulnerability in your life. You're not only empowered to be more in touch with yourself — practicing and growing your own emotional intelligence and self-awareness — but celebrated in leaning into vulnerability in your relationships.
Sometimes, we just need a push from someone else to practice our emotional intelligence, and someone that truly loves you and wants the best for you will do exactly that.
3. Their presence is energizing
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Even for introverted people that tend to feel most energized when they're alone, being loved right by a truly supportive person can be similarly fulfilling. It's one of the subtle signs you're being loved right, when you can forget all the uncertainty, anxiety, and stress from your day and be fully present in someone's unique energy.
According to a study from the journal Psychiatry, social support is a fundamental part of de-stressing and protecting your mental health, but it truly matters what kinds of people you're surrounding yourself with. If you're being loved right, you're going to feel uplifted, empowered, and at ease in their presence, not anxious and drained.
4. You feel confident in their honesty
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One of the subtle signs you're being loved right is feeling confident in the other person's honesty. Regardless of the situation, conflict, or adversity you're facing together, vulnerability, openness, and honesty are always things you can expect from the right person.
They mean what they say and say what they mean — it seems simple, but it's truly what builds the trust that serves as a foundation for any kind of healthy relationship.
5. You're more confident
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Knowing your worth and being generally more confident is one of the subtle signs you're being loved right, even if it's simply by yourself. If you're looking out for your best interests, setting intentional boundaries, and feeling empowered to feed into healthy habits and a routine, you're being cared for.
Like a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests, healthy relationships — both with ourselves and others — boost self-esteem. When we're more confident, we can show up better in every aspect of our lives, which makes finding the right fit in friends, partners, and a routine for ourselves so important.
6. You're not anxious about conflict
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Conflict-resolution is the key to maintaining a healthy long-term relationship with anyone, according to a study from the University of Georgia. It's also one of the subtle signs you're being loved right, according to psychology, when you feel comfortable enough to have an argument, express your concerns, and speak your mind without worrying about anger or defensiveness in return.
This kind of peace and comfort is refreshing, especially if you've been in relationships with people who always avoid accountability or blame-shift to make you feel bad for expressing yourself.
7. You're always laughing
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Laughing together is more profound than you probably realize; in fact, a study from Personal Relationships argues that partners who regularly laugh together boast better well-being and satisfaction as a couple.
If you're always laughing together, that's one of the subtle signs you're being loved right. You're not only given a safe space to unwind, recharge, and be present in the small moments, you can embrace discomfort and adversity with a lighthearted and intentional attitude.
8. You feel seen and heard
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According to research, including one study from PLOS One, feeling heard is incredibly important to a healthy relationship, whether it's reading your partner's energy in a social situation or actively listening in a conversation.
When you feel truly seen and heard by a partner who knows you, you don't feel drained by trying to express your needs or set boundaries that are ultimately disrespected — you feel empowered to be your authentic self.
When conflict inevitably shows up, you know your partner, friend, or peer has your best interests in mind, because they see you for who you are — not some version that they've painted or envisioned in their head.
9. They defend you when you're not around
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A partner that truly loves you will never talk badly about you behind your back for the sake of bonding with friends or appeasing others. They're secure enough, both in their own identity and their relationship, to avoid seeking external validation with petty jabs and gossipy language.
In fact, not having to worry about being betrayed by your partner at all is one of the subtle signs you're being loved right, because you have the foundation of trust to thrive in your relationship.
10. They don't weaponize affection
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In a transactional relationship, one or both partners will weaponize affection — withholding love to get what they want and offering up affection as a kind of conditional reward — to their advantage, sabotaging trust, well-being, and connection. Of course, if you're being loved right, this affection and basic sense of trust is unconditional, as your partner is there to support and love you no matter what.
Insecurity and anxious attachment styles do occasionally fuel partners even in healthy relationships, but if that person is committed to growing together and working on themselves, it's still possible to feel like you're being loved right.
11. Your success excites them
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If you have a partner that truly loves you and has your best interests at heart, chances are they'll empower you to reach your goals, even when they're not at a great spot in their own life.
They don't harbor jealousy or envy when it comes to your success; in fact, they'll set their own insecurities aside to ensure you feel valued and celebrated when it truly matters. It's this kind of emotionally intelligent and empathetic nature that's clearly one of the subtle signs you're being loved right.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
