11 Indisputable Signs A Man Has Your Very Best Interests At Heart
No need to wonder if he really wants what's best for you. These signs will put your heart as ease.
Dean Drobot / Shutterstock Dating is hard. Figuring out who has the right intentions and whether or not someone is compatible with you takes patience, strong boundaries, and a willingness to fail over and over again. And the vetting process doesn't stop just because you found someone you like. You want to know that the person you are with is concerned with your well-being at all times.
A man who genuinely has your very best interests at heart will consistently show it through his actions, not just his words. But once we have found someone we like, we tend to put on our rose-colored glasses and overlook red flags that pop up. Instead, we focus on the green flags, putting a man on a pedestal that he may or may not deserve. Only when you see enough signs that a man truly wants to make sure you are taken care of will you know that a man is the perfect match for you.
Here are 11 indisputable signs a man has your very best interests at heart
1. He listens to you
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A man who truly cares about your well-being will actively listen to you. That means that he is listening to understand, not to respond with a witty comeback or a debate. When you talk about your interests that the things that are important to you, he takes mental note and can remember. He pays close attention when you talk.
This doesn't mean that he has to agree with everything you say or think. He understands that you are autonomous and have your own thoughts, opinions, and feelings. Nevertheless, he tries his best to comprehend where you are coming from and is respectful of your independent thinking.
2. He is supportive
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There is nothing more special than a man who wants to see you win. In a world where women are excelling in every aspect of life, it's easy to come across men who are insecure and threatened by your success, but the one who encourages your lofty ambitions and celebrates your wins has your very best interests at heart.
Not only does he encourage and celebrate you, but that man also offers to help wherever he can. He comes up with valuable resources that can help you meet your goals. And let's not forget about the intangible things that he brings, like emotional support, words of affirmation, or just a hug when you need it.
3. He respects your boundaries
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There are men in this world who will know and understand your boundaries, but still choose to violate them. A man who respects your time, space, and limits is a keeper. He doesn't guilt-trip you for needing alone time or a day to have your home to yourself. He knows that you and he must maintain your individuality for the relationship to work.
You don't have to over-explain why something just doesn't work for you. Your nos are validated, just as your yeses are. He knows your worth and doesn't expect you to compromise your morals and values for him.
4. He is honest
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Not only does being lied to or gaslit in a relationship feel horrible and erode trust, but it can also impact you psychologically. It damages your self-esteem, creates unnecessary anxiety and confusion, and puts emotional distance between you and your partner.
If you have found someone who is honest, even when it's difficult, he has your best interests at heart. That man will also be open and transparent about his feelings and move his pride and ego aside when communicating with you. He doesn't play manipulation games, trying to make you jealous or withholding information. Even when you are in conflict, he maintains respect for you and tries to find fair solutions.
5. He is consistent
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A man who shows up each and every time you need him is high-value in your life. He doesn't breadcrumb you with a little communication or affection here and there just to keep you interested. He is intentional about courting you and has created an expectation that you can depend on him, no matter what.
It's easy to do all of those things in the honeymoon phase of a relationship, but if he comes through mentally, physically, and emotionally consistently, he genuinely cares about you. And most of the time, he does it without being asked to, another testament to the fact that he listens.
6. He is there during tough times
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A man who has your very best interests at heart is not only there when things are great. He is also by your side during the toughest times, helping you to get through them. He is around to offer comfort or help when you’re struggling, not just when it's easy or convenient.
Whether you are grieving the loss of a loved one, having a rough day at work, or experiencing a medical emergency, you know you can count on him to show up. A man who ghosts you when things get hard and pops up when you have recovered is not the one for you.
7. He protects and defends you
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If you find a man who does not play about you, consider yourself lucky. You feel safe around him, knowing that no physical harm will come to you under his watch. People understand that you are under his protection and treat you with respect and dignity, so they won't face his wrath.
But it's more than physical protection. He guards you mentally, spiritually, and emotionally as well, careful not to do damage. He takes care of your heart, staying away from decisions that could hurt you, and he defends you, even when you are not around. His love for you is authentic, and he never switches up.
8. He doesn't try to change you
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Most of us have been in a situation where a man meets you, is enamored with you at first, then slowly but surely tries to change you. The things he admired about you at first become the things he hates, and he starts to hammer away at your sense of self, finding fault in all of the attributes he pursued so feverishly.
That bait and switch is not something you will experience with a man who has your best interests at heart. He doesn't pretend to love everything about you, then try to mold you into someone else. He accepts and embraces who you truly are and loves you because of who you are, not in spite of it.
9. He takes accountability
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I love a man who can admit when he is wrong. At a time when miscommunications are rampant between men and women, and everyone is pointing fingers at each other, a man who can concede that he has made a mistake, own it, apologize sincerely, and try to do better is a godsend.
He doesn't make others responsible for his own shortcomings. We've all experienced a person who can say they were wrong, but quickly shifts the blame and tells how you made them do it. The man for you knows that it is unfair and irresponsible. He is accountable and does better.
10. He makes you feel safe and secure
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Feeling safe in the arms of your man is an underrated luxury. A man who wants to see you be the best woman you can be does not escalate your insecurities with dishonesty or leave you to question his motives. He wants his woman to feel secure in his presence and acts accordingly.
You never have to walk on eggshells, afraid to say what's really on your mind. You feel comfortable saying what you want because he won't automatically take offense or give you the silent treatment. Emotionally and physically, he puts you at ease.
11. He enhances your life
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We should come into relationships already whole, knowing who we are and what we want out of life. No one should be looking for a partner to complete them. But when you do decide to become involved, it should be with a man who adds to your life, not subtracts.
Life should get easier, not harder, when you pair up with a man who has your best interests at heart. He doesn't add to your burdens, but helps to carry them. He finds creative ways to invest in you and helps smooth out the rough edges of life. A man who upgrades your already fabulous life is a blessing.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that delivers informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
