You Can Usually Tell Someone Commands Real Respect By These 3 Things They Do Repeatedly
Sora Shimazaki | Pexels You want to be the kind of person who moves the needle. You want to be the kind of person who commands respect. You want to make an impact, but you also want to encourage real action from your fellow humans. But how do you do that? Well, you start by being the kind of person that you'd respect — it's kind of like the Golden Rule, but for respect: Treat others like you'd like to be treated. Respect others in the way you'd like to be respected.
The most respectable people don't dictate. They don't boss people around. They don't scream or yell. They relate to people on a human level in these specific ways that are very doable for even regular, non-managerial folks.
You can usually tell someone commands real respect by these 3 things they do repeatedly:
1. They use emotion to override logic
You can argue about how important your message is until you’re blue in the face. But you won’t inspire action or command respect from anyone until you get someone to feel something. You do this by telling a story and painting vivid scenes that people can step into — only then can they experience the story and the pain and the desire and joy and the relief as if they were there. You show, don’t tell. If you can feel it and see it, many others will too.
Emotions sit at the root of action. People are often more likely to make decisions based on their feelings rather than purely rational considerations, so start by appealing to their heart, not necessarily their head.
2. People who command respect are approachable
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People only respect those they like and trust. What separates the leaders people respect from the ones that people only obey? According to executive career coach Brent Roy, "The best leaders don't lead by intimidation, they lead by influence, and influence starts with trust."
But here's the catch: You can be as straight as the old palm tree, but people will be unlikely to approach, trust, or follow you if you're not at all approachable in the first place. How best to stay unapproachable? Be a bit robotic. The alternative? Be a human.
How to be a human? Be honest and show us your imperfections. Show us how you made a mistake or have this annoying habit of watching video game golf videos for far too long every day. Repeat after me: Being vulnerable makes you a human being, and being vulnerable makes you approachable.
3. They push people to act
This is secondary to the others but still important. People are comfortable being led, and they are more likely to act when they see the direction you are guiding them. Being an approachable, above-board human who can stir emotions and encourage action will make people naturally respect you and want to follow you.
Leadership and career coach Lisa Petsinis agrees: "Leadership isn't about the position you hold or the authority you command. It doesn't matter if you're a manager, a CEO, or the president; it's about leadership qualities and skills you can develop in any role you take on."
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
