The Unique Skill That Makes A Man More Likely To Cheat
Think cheating is all about opportunity? This study reveals it may come down to one surprising trait having to do with dating apps.
Jacob Lund | Canva Cheating is one of those fears that lingers in the back of most people's minds when they’re in a relationship. You can be in love, committed, and even feel secure, but the question of whether your partner could stray never fully goes away.
Who is more likely to cheat in a relationship?
According to research, there is a unique skill that makes a man more likely to cheat.
The 2020 study published in Computers in Human Behavior found that men who perform well on dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge — and who see themselves as highly desirable — are far more likely to stray.
Self-perceived desirability and dating app success were both strongly linked to cheating.
The study had 395 dating app users complete a simple questionnaire about their dating habits and found that dating app success and self-perceived desirability were both associated with cheating. Meaning if you think you’re hot stuff, you’re more likely to seek love outside of your relationship.
Between you and your partner, who is more likely to cheat?
The study revealed that 40 percent of people in serious relationships (from living together to being married) were still active on dating apps. And while plenty of partners claim they're "just on Tinder for a laugh," that excuse often masks something deeper.
What does this mean for you? It's wise to be cautious if you find out your current partner is still using dating apps, no matter what their justification is. If your partner is both confident in their dating market value and still scrolling through potential matches, it's something you don't want to ignore.
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I know many people whose partners said their friend signed them up, or that they were only doing it for a laugh. I’m never that surprised when it turns out they've been engaging in an affair.
So, be careful if you find out your partner is still using dating apps, despite the two of you being (supposedly) monogamous. And, be doubly cautious if they are particularly vain or confident about their desirability.
The study also found it was less about how often people used dating apps and more about how successful they thought they were while on them.
There’s certainly a link between people with a high opinion of their success in the dating market and unfaithful people.
Focus on communication to combat infidelity. Set clear boundaries with your partner about what is and is not OK in your relationship. Be crystal clear about your definitions of "monogamy" and "cheating."
Unfortunately, aside from the more obvious signs of cheating, there’s no way to know for sure whether or not they’re being faithful to you at all times. So, finding someone you can trust is essential. And, of course, don’t let the relationship stagnate or sink lower on your priorities list, no matter what else is going on in your life.
While cheating is always inexcusable, it does happen more often in relationships that aren’t fulfilling to both partners.
Find out what your relationship is missing and do your best to fulfill both of your needs, so that neither of you feels the need to look elsewhere for love.
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Scarcity makes cheating more tempting, but sometimes more options can prevent it, too
Using dating apps made people see they had a larger number of potential mates available to them, which made them less likely to cheat on their partner.
This makes sense if you look at it in terms of scarcity. If you think you have plenty of options available to you, you won’t feel the pressure to cheat. But if you feel there aren’t many potential mates for you, you're more likely to jump at any chance to cheat, so you're not stuck with your current partner for life.
Plus, if you see there are 500 potential mates out there, you might be overwhelmed by all your options when compared to just five potential mates.
Trust and communication are non-negotiable
In the end, you can’t prevent cheating, no matter how much you wish you could. Since you can’t control whether someone cheats, the best defense is clear boundaries, honest conversations, and a partner you can genuinely rely on.
So, before you get serious with someone, make sure you can trust them. And, when in doubt, make sure they’ve logged off the dating apps to focus on you and you alone.
Brad Browning is a relationship coach and expert from Vancouver, Canada, with over 10 years of experience working with couples to repair and improve relationships.
