3 Basic Skills Every Truly Happy Person Uses Naturally
LOOK | Canva How do you tell your stories? One of my grandmothers, who lived to be 105 years old, always had a story to tell. Her stories were often fantastical, claiming she lived through a car, a plane, and a train crash. My family loved to sit around and listen while she recounted those dramatic encounters. She was naturally happy and that's what made these stories (and her presence) so enjoyable.
Fantastical lead-ins highlight and create more drama, but when you feed into the dramatic aspects of real life, this is what you create. It's also what you share with others. Before you know it, you’re caught in a story snowball effect, and the pressure to keep up the drama can weigh you down.
Eventually, the drama becomes negativity and the cycle repeats to become the norm. So, when you sense this happening, it's time for a refresh and to practice the skills of naturally happy people. And, don't worry, you can still tell great stories.
Three basic skills every truly happy person uses reflexively:
1. They turn down the drama
Remember, you are the thinker of your thoughts. This means you ultimately have a choice when it comes to what you think about and how you interpret the events in your life.
Don’t make the situations in your life bigger or harder than they need to be. Instead, keep it simple and turn down the drama.
2. They watch their words
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Remember my favorite story opener: "You’re not going to believe this!" That sets the listener up for a juicy tale. But the story rarely lives up to that opener, unless you focus on the drama.
I often hear my clients say, "I was in the wrong place at the wrong time."
What a negative phrase! What do you think that phrase tells your brain? If there’s one is that there are certainly more things that are in the wrong place.
Instead, what if you began with, "I was in the perfect place!"
Your word choice can bring about more of what you’re ultimately looking for, which is positive situations. So, watch your words!
3. They focus on what they want (not what they don't)
Think about the last time you were car shopping. I bet the second you decided on the type of car to buy, you began to see that car everywhere you went.
This is an example of your Reticular Activation System (RAS), and it’s the way your brain works.
If you focus on the positive situations you want to happen and picture them in your mind, you can make them a reality. Certain moments in our lives are truly dramatic. But these should be the exception, not the norm.
With these three steps, repel the negative, and more good things will stick.
When you sense the drama show ball effect starting, when you’re exhausted from the effort of it all, it’s time to break the cycle. It’s time to repel the negative and get the good in your life to stick, just like Velcro.
Hilary DeCesare is the Founder and CEO of The ReLaunch Co. She’s appeared on ABC’s The Secret Millionaire and on major news outlets such as CBS, ABC, Fox, and Huffington Post.
