10 Behaviors Of People Who Put Themselves First That Make Them More Likable Than Everyone Else

Love yourself or nobody will.

Last updated on Aug 18, 2025

Woman with behaviors of people who put themselves first and are more likable Kitja Kitja via Shutterstock
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We often think that being loved means we need to seek it from other people. But when you seek love externally, you allow it to be taken away, which can leave you empty on the inside. The people who put love for themselves not only stay happier, they also become more likable overall. 

Learning to love and approve of yourself requires the time out to put yourself first, to focus on your wants and needs. It might seem selfish, but before you can truly take care of others, you have to take care of yourself. When you love yourself, you are more satisfied with life, and there are no limits to what you can accomplish.

Ten behaviors of people who put themselves first that make them so likable:

1. They say 'no' when they need to

Woman says no because she puts herself first and is likable Antonio Guillem via Shutterstock

When you love yourself, it becomes easier for you to say no to people and things that don't align with your values. You realize your time is valuable and it is better spent on doing the things you love. You stand firm in all of your decisions without fear of how others will respond. 

This practice helps reinforce your boundaries, earning respect from healthy, happy people. After all, you're less likely to carry resentment and negativity when you are being true to yourself. 

RELATED: 10 Polite Ways Confident People Say No With Zero Guilt, According To Psychology

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2. They create enough room to heal

Woman put herself first and is more likable takes time to heal PeopleImages.com - Yuri A via Shutterstock

Loving yourself makes you more open and aware of the healing process. You come to terms with the fact that in life you will get hurt, but that doesn't mean the pain has to last forever. 

When you acknowledge and accept your bad emotions, you can move forward and fully enjoy living life in the present. That requires making room (and time) in your life to fully process your feelings. After all, feeling and moving through our feelings is the only real way to get past the hurt. 

As an added bonus, experts say that feeling your feelings (instead of pushing them down) can actually make us healthier, too! 

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3. They communicate openly

People who put themselves first and are more likable communicating openly La Famiglia via Shutterstock

Self-love is taking the time out to figure out who you are and what you want. Once you know this, you are able to have honest conversations with anyone and everyone. 

When you understand that being upfront about how you feel and what you believe can only improve your relationships with others, you can build deeper communication based in honesty.

You have standards and are comfortable getting rid of anyone who can't rise up to them. And it's a gift. 

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4. They don't crave approval

person who puts herself first is more likable by not seeking approval Nana_studio via Shutterstock

When you truly love yourself, you realize confidence comes from within, and no one can make you feel as good or as happy as yourself. 

You become less likely to feel pressured to do things just to be liked. Caring less about the opinions of others gives you the freedom to walk your path and be your genuine self. This gift attracts others, as they know that what they see is what they get, and that makes people incredibly likable. 

RELATED: 11 Signs Of A Woman Who’s Done Chasing Approval For Good

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5. They're comfortable with bad days

People who put themselves first are comfortable with bad days Tiantip Deedet via Shutterstock

You understand that every day isn't going to be the best day when you feel like you can conquer the world. However, instead of wallowing in self-pity, you accept whatever mental and physical state you are in. 

Research shows that emotional acceptance can help ease anxiety and chronic worry, even in people with serious anxiety disorders. So imagine what it can do for the rest of us!

When you are able to accept your feelings, you can find light even in the bad days. You know that even in the down moments, there is an opportunity to learn and grow as long as you are honest about your feelings and do what needs to be done to heal. 

RELATED: When Kind People Get Stressed And Overwhelmed, They Take 3 Steps To Prevent Lashing Out

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6. They count on themselves, first

People who put themselves first count on themselves Ekateryna Zubal via Shutterstock

When you count on yourself, you limit the number of times you have to depend on other people, which limits the number of times they can let you down. It's not that you aren't willing to risk your heart with disappointment, it's that you save those risks for times when it really. matters. 

While some may pooh-pooh this entire idea, research that dove into many large meta-analyses around self-esteem shows that belief in yourself and your own skills and abilities is massively beneficial. The study authors report the following:

"[H]igh self-esteem helps individuals adapt to and succeed in a variety of life domains, including having more satisfying relationships, performing better at school and work, enjoying improved mental and physical health, and refraining from antisocial behavior."

You learn to trust yourself and your ability to be great, even when no one else is around to help you or witness your hard work. You become your own cheerleader, encouraging yourself to stay motivated and to break boundaries as you chase your dreams. 

RELATED: 4 Proven Strategies To Trust Yourself And Live Regret-Free, According To Research

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7. They make healthier choices

People who put themselves first make healthier choices Artmim via Shutterstock

When you put yourself first, you make choices that will only improve your quality of life. You eat better and sleep, and exercise more because you realize that taking care of your mental and physical well-being is essential to your success. When you look better, you feel better, and when you feel better, you do better. 

You also show others how to treat you, displaying with your actions that you believe you are worthy of respect. 

RELATED: Life Coach Reveals 20 Healthy Choices That Will Change Your Life

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8. They understand the gift of forgiveness

People who put themselves first understand gift of forgiveness simona pilolla 2 via Shutterstock

Holding on to grudges can keep you down. When you love yourself and put yourself first, you see the power of forgiving yourself and others for things that have already happened and therefore can no longer be controlled. Research has shown many times that forgiveness also helps you move on faster.

This doesn't mean allowing people to walk all over you. In fact, forgiveness allows you to accept the reality of people's behavior so you can determine which boundaries and expecations are reasonable. You can see the times when you need to apologize, too.

You can accept responsibility for your actions while still releasing the blame you place on yourself for the harm others have caused you. In doing so, you release the hold others have on you.

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9. They take charge of their lives

People who put themselves first take charge of their lives KeyStock via Shutterstock

Feeling more in charge of your life comes with realizing the power of choice. You choose when and how you want to live your life. This feeling of control is incredibly beneficial, for many reasons and allows you to truly put yourself first. 

This means you weigh more heavily on the benefits and consequences of making certain choices that will affect your future. You are then more likely to only make choices that align with your values and will help you honor them. 

And when we make choices based on our own values, others can tell. You become almost instantly more likable because your authenticity radiates out. 

RELATED: 6 Ways To Harness Your Anger If You Find It Controlling Your Life

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10. They have the best relationships, emotionally

People who put themselves first have the best relationships emotionally Monkey Business Images via Shutterstock

When you spend time processing your emotions, you are digging deep inside of yourself and getting to the core of who you are. As you work to love and accept yourself and be honest, you encourage others to do the same. This allows you to open up and connect with others on a deeper level, unafraid to show the parts of yourself that are rough around the edges and see the same in others.

Having self-love allows you to have a more fulfilling life because you learn that happiness isn’t dependent upon anyone but yourself. You don't mind spending time alone, and you are comfortable with where you are in life at any given moment. As a result, you can genuinely love other people and be happy for their successes. The more satisfied you are with yourself, the more you can share your light and positivity with others.

There is no correct way to go about loving yourself more. All you must do is make an active effort to do so, and from there, find the way best for you. It is not the how that matters, but the why.

RELATED: You Know You’re In An Emotionally Safe Relationship When This One Really Uncomfortable Thing Happens, Says A Psychiatrist

Alexis George is a writer who covers love, relationship advice, astrology, and personality topics. Her work has been featured in BlueNotes, NSM Today, and Central Florida Lifestyle.

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