Women Who Can’t Seem To Get Out Of Situationships Tend To Do These 5 Low-Quality Things
Karola G | Canva It's healthy to relax into your relationship — but going comatose in a situationship is another thing altogether. We often think our relationships will just hum along, but one day, the romance is dead, and boom: you're in a situationship.
Research helped to explain how people tend to convince themselves to stay in unsatisfying relationships until they either crash or burn — but why does this happen? Here are low-quality things women do to drain the passion and perpetually keep them in situationships that don't lead anywhere.
Women who can’t seem to get out of situationships tend to do these 5 low-quality things:
1. They have a bad attitude
Some women think the world owes them something. Complaining is a daily or even hourly event. They sneer at their loved ones, rarely smile, and are just plain mean. No man (or woman!) wants to be part of that. Their disposition will rub off on their loved one in one of two ways: They will end up leaving them or disconnecting from them. Who wants to end up lonely and bitter? No one I know.
"Many couples who find themselves disconnected from each other no longer look each other in the eye," suggested life coach Mitzi Bockmann. "Instead, they occupy themselves with something suddenly very important if their partner walks into the room. They keep their eye on the TV when the other says goodnight. They leave in the morning with a quick peck on the cheek, moving towards the door with haste. It is impossible to remain connected to someone if you don’t look them in the eye."
2. They barely put in effort
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Gaining a few pounds is no big deal — it happens when we get more comfortable in our relationship. What we can't do is stay in our sweatpants and t-shirt all day, every day, and forget to wash our hair for a week. No one is perfect, and we shouldn't expect them to be. However, there is a time and place to step it up and look good — even if it's just for ourselves.
There's a difference between going comfy casual in the evening and wearing the same outfit to dinner. It feels good to get dressed up, even if it's an event at home. Watch your partner take notice when you tell him — it was just for you, honey.
3. They take people for granted
It's so easy to get caught up with family, career, and other interests. We are meant to live a full life. However, over time, our world can get out of balance, and we just assume our loved one will always be there.
"When one partner doesn't feel seen or cared for, this can cause even the most secure individuals to have doubts about the well-being of their relationship," explained relationship coaching duo Susie and Otto Collins. "They may start devoting more energy and affection to caring for their significant other, contributing to the existing lack of balance and tipping the scales even more. When they see their efforts are in vain, it causes the opposite intended effect. Because, while it's healthy to have needs, what comes across as excessive neediness can push the other away more."
Watch for no-nos like sleeping in another room because it's more comfortable, constantly putting family activities in front of your alone time together, or doing too much of your own thing. It takes a conscious effort, but it's well worth the time to make sure he's your top priority for some time each day. Remember: You're not just roommates — you're life partners.
4. They have zero sense of humor
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Loosen up a bit! Relationships are supposed to be fun! There's nothing more annoying than being a wet blanket. Life is too short. Humor is a well-known stress reliever and helps lighten the load of serious issues we face on a daily basis.
Researcher and behavorial and economist Peter McGraw, Ph.D., says, "Not surprisingly, funny people receive positive attention and admiration. Your ability to create and appreciate humor also influences who wants to date, mate, and befriend you. Most studies find humor to be a highly desirable attribute, which explains why the acronym GSOH (good sense of humor) finds its way into personal and online dating posts."
Our lives are busy and chaotic. But laughing with your partner adds zest and a stronger connection.
5. They have no joy
"Where's the fun, flirty person I once knew?" he said. "Buried in laundry, a career, and running in twenty different directions," she exclaimed. If this sounds familiar, boredom is soon to follow. Everyone is busy, so why not make life a little more exciting? Raise his eyebrow and throw a few undergarments at him. Just make sure they look decent. If we have to cook, we might as well tease him while we're doing it.
A few quick kisses and a tap on the tush never hurt anyone's love life. Be creative and remember, you're in this for the long haul, so you might as well have fun doing it. Let's remember, love is a two-way street. It's easy to get caught up in the rush of daily life. Be aware, even diligent about making our significant other a priority, or we lose the romance that brought us together in the first place.
Lori Peters is a dating coach, radio show host, writer, and speaker on happiness and well-being. Her passion is to help others create more happiness in their loving relationships.
