If A Man Does These 30 Things, He’s So Into You It’s Almost Embarrassing
Mikhail Nilov | Pexels "The best feeling is when you look at him, and he's already staring." — 85 million Internet memes
The laws of attraction are the laws of attraction because no one really understands them. So they need their own laws. Overwhelming curiosity, freight train infatuation, unstoppable pangs of waking up in the night to the image of a certain face, love-at-first-sight, hell, even a second glass of red wine crushing, whatever it might be — there's inimitable electricity that comes with liking someone else truly and specially.
Research from Harvard Medical School reveals that when we fall in love, our brains flood with dopamine, a chemical that activates the reward circuit and creates feelings similar to euphoria. Brain scans show that simply looking at a photo of someone you're romantically interested in lights up dopamine-rich areas associated with pleasure and focused attention.
You've been in that dopamine spiral. So have I. It's what makes us human. I don't know if deer feel that way, the way we do. Or hippos. Or birds or trout or praying mantis. I hope they do. I hope they feel more than the standard tug of procreating. Lust is what keeps the species around, but it's not all there is when it comes to people.
We are different. We have this ability to lose our breath at the way another person flips their hair out of their face. In the way another person smiles calmly at us over their beer when our whole world is turning upside down. It's hard to explain. It's tough sometimes to know if a man is so into you that it's almost embarrassing, but here are some pretty obvious clues.
If a man does these 30 things, he’s so into you it’s almost embarrassing:
1. He asks your friends about you
Which is, you know, so obvious. The intel-gathering phase has begun. He's not even trying to be subtle about it.
2. He asks you about you
In conversation, he asks about you, listens to your words, follows up with more questions, and when you ask him questions, he answers and then turns back to you. He's genuinely curious about your life, not just waiting for his turn to talk. The conversation flows because he's engaged, not performing.
3. He's humble
He doesn't need to dominate the conversation or prove how impressive he is. Confidence without arrogance is rare and refreshing.
4. He doesn't know what to do with his eyes when you walk by him
There's an awkward moment where he's trying to play it cool, but his gaze always finds you anyway.
5. He talks to you about what you're into
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About what you read. TV, movies, food? Those things are cool. But books are best. Sports talk? Heck no.
6. He loans you cherished items
He loans you vinyl, books, or music and never asks for them back, even when he gives you more.
7. He touches your arm when you're talking
And you are not offended or freaked out. It's light, natural, and feels appropriate. You don't pull away because something about it just feels right.
8. He buys you flowers
Not for a special occasion, just because. The gesture is simple but intentional.
9. He asks about your family
Before you've known him longer than two conversations, he asks you about your family, where you come from, and how you grew up. He's not interested in surface-level small talk. He wants to understand the foundation of who you are.
10. He smiles a lot
It's kind of ridiculous. It's kind of charming. It borders on ridiculous how often he's grinning around you. But somehow it's endearing rather than creepy.
11. He loves your imperfections
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He loves you because of your quirks and flaws, not despite them.
12. He seems nervous when you kiss
When you kiss, he seems really nervous, he smiles, and he doesn't try for more. There's vulnerability in that first kiss. He's savoring the moment, not rushing toward what comes next.
13. He loves your dog
It's not performative. He genuinely lights up around your pet, and the feeling is mutual.
14. He puts thought into his texts
His text messages are funny, and sometimes he takes forever to respond with just one sentence because he wants to get it right. He wrote a book. Erased it. Started over. He wants to get it right. You can practically see him typing, deleting, rewriting. That single sentence took fifteen minutes because he's overthinking every word.
15. He's comfortable in street clothes around you
He wants you to see who he really is. No need for the perfectly-styled date outfit every time. He wants you to see the regular version of him.
16. He checks you out when he thinks you're not looking
You catch him taking your face into his eyes or checking you out like he isn't quite sure you're real. He can't help it. And you can kinda tell. There's a look of disbelief that crosses his face, like he can't believe you're sitting across from him.
17. He wants you to meet his friends
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Bringing you into his inner circle isn't something he takes lightly. This is his way of saying you matter.
18. He likes you just the way you are
You're vegan. He's not. Or you don't drink. And he does. Your lifestyle choices that might be dealbreakers for others don't faze him. He's interested in you, not a version of you that fits his preferences.
19. He's in awe of you
He finds it incredibly admirable how you've handled all the adversity life has thrown at you. And again, you can tell it's real. When you share your struggles, he doesn't minimize them or try to fix them. He just listens with genuine respect.
20. He seems uninterested in anyone else when you're around
He's still polite and inclusive. But you get the feeling he wishes other people would just jet so he can get you all to himself.
21. He gets excited when you're excited
You mention that you like an obscure band or movie, and his jaw visibly drops in the name of joy. Shared interests feel like discovering treasure. His excitement over small connections is completely unfiltered.
22. He's not afraid to be vulnerable
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He mentions his shortcomings to you before you've known him too long. He's not hiding his flaws or pretending to be perfect. Honesty matters more to him than impressing you.
23. He isn't a cheater or an abuser
And you can tell all that by the way that he smiles when you laugh. His character shows in the small moments—the way he treats servers, talks about exes, and responds when you laugh at his jokes.
24. He's into more than just the chemistry
And you can tell. Physical chemistry exists, but he's equally interested in talking for hours, going for walks, or just sitting quietly together.
25. He makes you smile
You didn't expect that to happen. But you're sure he's doing the same.
26. He opens doors for you and helps you take your coat off
Old-fashioned gestures that feel natural, not performative. He's attentive to small acts of care.
27. He goes on walks with you
No agenda, no destination. Just wandering and talking feels like enough.
28. He never checks his phone when you're in front of him
His phone stays in his pocket or face down on the table. You have his full attention.
29. He cooks for you
The effort matters more than the result. When you cook, he acts as if you've just served him a Michelin-star meal.
30. He tells you he's so into you
And you believe him. Eventually, he just says it: I'm crazy about you. No games, no ambiguity. You believe him because everything leading up to this moment already showed you it's true.
Serge Bielanko is a writer and musician who has been published on Babble, Huffington Post, Yahoo, and more.
