If You Want To Appear Cooler And More Mysterious, Say Hello To These 5 Behaviors
Master these subtle habits to five off an effortlessly intriguing vibe.
Kebs Visuals | Canva There's something undeniably captivating about people who move through the world with a certain understated confidence. Those who carry secrets without being overtly secretive tend to draw others in by just being themselves.
If you've ever wondered how to develop that kind of natural magnetism, the answer can be found in small but powerful shifts in how you interact with the rest of the world. These aren't manipulative tactics; they're authentic ways of being that help create genuine connection while never sacrificing your sense of self.
If you want to appear cooler and mysterious, say hello to these 5 behaviors:
1. Understand that less is more
Leave things unsaid. In conversation, resist the urge to share too many details or overwhelm your conversational partner with too much information (it’s okay, we’ve all been guilty of TMI).
It’s endearing to be warm, honest, and open, but the girl who talks incessantly without letting anyone else have a word in edgewise can leave a person with nothing to ask.
2. Practice good listening
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A nugget of wisdom from Plato: “Wise [wo]men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.”
Hone your powers of observation. Draw people in with your genuine interest in them. This is a magical and meaningful way to open up a new relationship or friendship — slowly, like peeling an artichoke and getting to a person's heart.
Studies show that people who perceive they're being listened to actively form a positive impression of the listener. By focusing on the speaker rather than oneself, a good listener can create a sense of intrigue, making the speaker want to learn more about the listener.
3. Stay off the radar
In an age of social media, oversharing has become an unfortunate by-product. But maintaining a mysterious element about oneself can leave people wanting more.
Practice some self-restraint, even if for only one day out of the week. Get off your Instagram feed. Refrain from posting your every thought on X. TikTok can wait. Keep them wondering.
Strategically using silence in conversations can make you seem more thoughtful, emotionally controlled, and spark curiosity in others. One study cautioned that true attractiveness comes from being authentic and embracing your individuality. Trying to force a mysterious persona can come across as insincere.
4. Revel in solitude
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It can be fantastic for the soul. You are anonymous in your city. No one knows your name, how old you are, or what you do for a living.
Enjoy sitting alone on a bench at your favorite park. Look around and observe the stories playing out before you in the lives of the people passing by.
Notice the different colors exploding in the sky, the wafting scents in the air, and the feel of your skin as you fold your hands in your lap. Take a deep breath. Breathe in. Breathe out. Cherish this moment.
Choosing to spend time alone suggests that an individual is not reliant on constant social interaction for their happiness or validation. According to a 2024 study, this can be viewed as a sign of strength and autonomy, qualities that can be associated with coolness and an air of self-sufficiency.
5. Take time for yourself
Why in such a rush? Remember to daydream. Be in the moment. We live in such a fast-paced culture that we rarely take time to rest.
Take the time to grow, change, and invest in others. Take the time to stroll in a garden. Take the time to be quiet. Take the time to ask yourself who you are and what you want.
Jennifer Cho Salaff is a former newspaper reporter and magazine editor.
