13 'Normal' Things You're Obsessed With That You Might Actually Be Secretly Addicted To
Ketut Subiyanto | Pexels We all joke about our "addiction" to the trappings of modern life (morning lattes, watching Game of Thrones, etc.), but we tell ourselves they aren't really addictions. We insist to our best friend that though we may obsessively check social media, it isn't an addiction; it's just a habit. And who would ever say that hitting the gym for two hours a day and carefully monitoring what you eat is anything but a good habit?
But what is the difference between addiction and compulsive behavior? And would we know where to draw the line? An addiction develops when a person desires to shield painful feelings. And you're pretty darn happy, right? But the truth is, any activity that numbs shadow emotions — frustration, sadness, anger, disappointment — can mutate into compulsive or addiction-based behavior.
You can joke about "First World Problems," but our little "innocent" habits definitely mimic the same kinds of brain activities or dopamine releases that drug use or gambling do. From obsessing over our bodies to a variety of tech tool compulsions, when habitual behaviors affect our ability to fully engage in our lives, our work, or our relationships, these 'normal' things you're obsessed with could definitely become secret addictions.
Here are 13 'normal' things you're obsessed with that you might actually be secretly addicted to:
1. Shopping
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I love the perfect new pair of shoes as much as the next gal, but an addiction to shopping isn't about sprucing up your wardrobe; it's the compulsive need to buy things. Shopaholics get a high from experiencing shopping, the transaction, and the shiny new thing in their possession.
But just like an alcoholic sobers up, the shopping high wears off, and out this addict goes again with a credit card in hand. Shopping addicts often get into serious debt, destroy relationships by lying about their shopping, and become hoarders, with their treasures tucked into every nook and cranny of their home. Do you obsess over the next big sale you'll hit, typically shop alone, and hide purchases from your significant other? You could have oniomania, a compulsive shopping addiction.
2. Being infatuated with someone
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British singer Robert Palmer was onto something when he sang about being addicted to love. Love can be an addiction. The love addict becomes infatuated and can't seem to let go. Just like an alcoholic focuses on the next drink, a love addict's dependency is on another person. Love addicts often felt abandoned by (or that love was withheld by) a parent. Learning to love yourself as you are (without the need for being loved by others) is part of the healing path of love addiction.
Do you find yourself hyper-focused on getting someone to love you? Do you believe that being loved will solve all your problems? Do you believe that getting an ex back will make you whole again? You might be addicted to love.
3. Working
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We all want to do well in our jobs, but is work more important than loved ones? Being a workaholic isn't exactly a new concept, but it’s been exacerbated by our modern society's ability (and encouragement) to always stay connected to the office.
One study showed that "overworked individuals exhibited significant changes in brain regions associated with executive function and emotional regulation." Are you unable to take a weekend off, let alone go on vacation, without working? Do you miss important family functions because work is more important? Workaholism is likely an addiction for you.
4. Being busy
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Being industrious is great. Yeah, we all have a lot to do and the requisite 24 hours to do it in. I know, you're "crazy-busy." Being busy is good when it's purposeful, but too often, it leads to burnout. Do you need to keep cramming more into your day to feel a sense of satisfaction? Do you equate your worth with how busy you are? Are you using your "crazy-busy" schedule to avoid relationships or unpleasant truths? Not good.
5. Always being right
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We have a plethora of information at our fingertips, which has led some folks down the path of always thinking they're right. Though being smart doesn't sound like an addiction (and who wants to end up being wrong about stuff?), an addiction to being right leads to overstressing about mistakes (we all make some), rebellion against your boss, and destruction of inter-office relationships.
Can you go a week (or even a day) without criticizing others? Can you let someone else shine in your next meeting? Always needing to trump everyone else is the wrong path to a healthy connection.
6. Feeding your fears
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We all have fears; it's a part of being human. But do you put your fears on a pedestal and focus so diligently on how flawed you are that it interferes with your ability to succeed? Being addicted to fear is a branch of negaholism — addiction to negativity, the tendency to see the negative side of every situation.
Writer and speaker Elizabeth Gilbert often says that you need to stop cherishing your fear because "your fear is the most boring thing about you." Don't let ordinary fears turn into an addiction. It causes you to make excuses, remain focused on your "flaws", and keeps you from moving forward. Fear and love cannot exist within the same space, so choose love.
7. Eating healthy
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Sure, it's wise to care about the foods you eat; a healthy diet and lifestyle are important. But overly strict self-imposed food rules can lead to obsessiveness. With the sheer volume of scientific information about nutrients available on the web, combined with the fact that humans need to eat, what can begin as a desire to eat healthy can lead to an obsessive fixation on eating perfectly clean, "pure" foods.
Do you bring your own food to parties, or avoid parties altogether? Are you afraid to travel because you may not have healthy enough food options? Do you believe that your consumption of clean food makes you more worthy? Research indicated you could suffer from orthorexia.
8. Excercising
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We all need to move our bodies regularly. Science says that exercise makes us healthier, but does hitting the gym interfere with time with your family or your job? Do you feel anxious if you miss your spin class (and the ensuing hour of running on the treadmill afterwards)? Do you work out even when you're sick or injured?
Do you fanatically focus on the number of calories you burned in a workout and push yourself beyond comfort if you haven't hit your magic number? Then, darling, your healthy exercise habit is becoming an addiction. You don't have to quit exercise completely, but putting it into perspective allows you to live a healthier and more balanced life.
9. Binge-watching TV
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The new season of your favorite show is out soon, and it's become normal to plan a whole weekend around binge-watching the entire season. Sure, the occasional binge of a show isn't deadly, but when one show leads to another and becomes the drug of choice to soothe your nerves is television, you’re on the edge of healthy watching and addiction.
Though you can argue that a little (or a lot) of TV shows isn't truly addictive, the current version of the psychiatric diagnostic manual broadens its addiction definition from being a substance to any compulsive behavior relied upon, despite interference with living life. Besides, binge-watching consumes a show in a way the show creators didn't intend, so breaking your addiction to television (and especially binge-watching) will allow you to enjoy all the highs and lows of your favorite show without it becoming a fixation.
10. Doom-scrolling
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Our love for connection has gone from love letters in the mail to the instant gratification of having everything in the palm of our hands. We may joke about being addicted to our smartphones, but Dr. David Greenfield, founder and medical director of The Center for Internet and Technology Addiction, says his research shows that the ease of access, availability, and portability make it twice as addictive as other ways to connect to technology.
If forgetting your cell phone at home makes you feel panicked, or your obsessive checking for updates is interfering with your ability to connect to real people (especially when they are across the table from you), it's time to cut the virtual cord and break your addiction.
11. Texting
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One Penn State study revealed that college kids have confessed to texting while on the toilet, showering, while driving, and during intimate moments. Additionally, research by Baylor University found that students spent between eight and ten hours a day on their phones, most of which was spent texting. Though it's similar to being addicted to your smartphone, being addicted to texting leads to risky behaviors, like texting while driving.
Do you obsessively text? Have you sent or replied to a text while driving? Do you feel compelled to send or reply to texts while eating, at the movies, in bed, or while partaking in regular self-care activities? It's not a habit, it's an addiction.
12. Taking selfies
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Though it's hard to argue that you take more selfies than Kim Kardashian, has your occasional vacation photo of yourself in front of a famous landmark morphed into multiple daily photos of you from various angles? According to a study by Ohio State University, men who posted selfies regularly display psychopathic tendencies, narcissism, and self-objectification.
While some may argue that selfies are a path to a better acceptance of self, psychiatrists say that compulsive selfies lead to Body Dysmorphic Disorder, depression, and eating disorders. The occasional selfie can improve your sense of self and connection, but when it becomes an addictive behavior, you're setting yourself up for dissatisfaction with your appearance if it isn't seen through an Instagram filter and the perfect angle.
13. Craving intimacy
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Society doesn’t consider the craving for physical gratification a modern addiction, but the ease of access to explicit materials can increase typical, normal urges for intimate pleasure. But is that real addiction? Research suggested it is just like how an eating disorder isn't about food. Yet, it's a real problem if it interferes with living life and causes risky behaviors.
Debra Smouse is a life coach and author who has also been published in Time, Huffington Post, MSN, Psychology Today, and more. She believes in following your desires even when your life is already awesome.
