Heartbreak

3 Awful Texting Mistakes That Cause Unnecessary Relationship Drama

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Two friends reading gossip on phone

I saw two texting mishaps occur, each worthy of sharing. (We can all stand to learn from each other's mistakes, right?)

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Here are 3 awful texting mistakes that cause unnecessary relationship drama.

1. Trash talk via text

I sent a sensitive text message to my sister. The text was about a delicate situation with another family member, but I mistakenly sent the message to the wrong person. I sent the text to the other person because I had text dialogues going simultaneously with each of them. Oh, what a mess I caused.

Every bad thing that happens gives us a learning experience and an opportunity for growth, and with this horrific texting mishap, I learned two things.

First, I need to proceed with caution when texting and be very careful who I am texting. Second and more importantly, I should follow my father's advice. Never say anything about anyone I wouldn't say directly to that person's face.

Whether it's an unkind or thoughtless comment you're texting about a relative, a friend, a co-worker, or someone you are dating, please learn from my mistake and think twice before sending it. You want to avoid the hot water I put myself in this week. 

Photo: Roman Samborskyi via Shutterstock

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2. Assuming a slow response is someone snubbing you

This next texting faux pas killed a potentially great first date.

A woman and man scheduled their first date for a 7:30 pm dinner on Wednesday at a lovely restaurant. They set this date up by text message the previous weekend four days before the date. While planning, they exchanged playful back-and-forth banter via text over those days. Now, the mishap:

He texted her at 1:00 pm on the day of the date and said, "Looking forward to seeing you tonight at 7:30."

At 6:00 pm, he hadn't heard back from her, so he sent another text that said, "I didn't hear back from you. Are we still on for dinner at 7:30?"

At 6:30 pm, when he hadn't heard back from her, he decided to bail on the date. He didn't get dressed. He didn't get in the car to drive to the date.

What do you think? His mistake? Or did she make the mistake here?

It turns out she responded to him at 6:45 pm and said, "Looking forward to it. See you there." Oh my, he'd already decided to bail on the date, so the date didn't happen. Opportunity missed. The chance for love was lost.

As a matchmaker, I want to cry when a first date doesn't happen because of a silly miscommunication. We only have one chance for a first impression. In this case, the first impression they gave was not a good one.

Here's my take. If a guy wants to confirm his first date by text, he should always text her — the evening before the date to give her plenty of time to respond.

If she wanted confirmation and hadn't heard from him, she should have texted him the evening prior or the morning of the date for peace of mind before spending all that time in front of the mirror while making the effort to get somewhere on time. No one enjoys being stood up or rescheduling at the last minute. 

   

   

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3. Assuming everyone is constantly glued to their cell phones.

Plenty of people put their phones away when they are working or focused on other things. They might not check it for hours on end.

We all have different ways of maintaining our sanity, and one of the ways I do it (and plenty of others do, too) is I don't make myself available for constant interruptions. The person I am with deserves my full attention, so the buzzers and ringers on my cell phone are intentionally turned off most of the time. I don't want to come off as ADD, with my attention pulled in a dozen directions.

I like feeling centered, calm and focused. I have to manage interruptions to embody who I desire to portray in this world.

Don't make the mistake of assuming each person manages their communication the way you currently do.

Some of us are texters, some prefer email, while some still enjoy the retro ways of phone calls and voicemail messages. There are half a dozen ways to send a message these days. Learn to adapt and ask the new people in your life what's the best method for keeping in touch and how often to do so you sync up with each other from the get-go.

In other words, think outside the text box.

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Julie Ferman is a personal matchmaker, consultant, dating coach, media personality, professional speaker, producer of dating industry conferences and events, and a blogger. She's been a guest on countless television shows including Good Morning America, The Today Show, Dr. Phil, and Fox News.