Photo: Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock.com, RonSwaffle/Reddit
He's determined to avoid small talk, but many feel he's being antisocial.
By John Sundholm — Written on Jan 09, 2023
It's a blessing to have a job with good coworkers, but even if you love your colleagues the constant office chatter can some get a bit grating.
And this can especially be a problem after a big event like the holidays, when you have to field everyone's Christmas and New Year's small talk while you're just trying to get your work done!
But one Brit has the perfect solution.
He stuck an FAQ on his door that would answer all his coworker's questions.
As he shared in a Reddit post in the site's "r/CasualUK" subReddit, he posted a list of "Back at Work FAQs" and stuck it on his office door to pre-empt all the inevitable back-and-forth.
He wasn't sure if it made him a "genius or peak antisocial grump," but his fellow Redditors had plenty to say.
The list covers all the most likely questions a person could get peppered with on that first day back at the office after Christmas.
Titled "Back at Work FAQs," the list of questions leaves no stone unturned.
The list opens with, "Yes [Christmas] was alright thanks, I hope yours was too," before detailing what he and his family did on the big day.
He even went so far as to stipulate that, no, they did not have the traditional British Christmas turkey, opting for "chicken, beef and pork" instead.
His Christmas haul is covered too—he told his coworkers he got "boots, socks and Lynx Africa," a type of body spray for men similar to Axe Body Spray in the States.
The man then moved on to New Year's, notifying his colleagues that he "stayed in," doesn't have any resolutions, and that he is "not glad to be back at work!"
That really does cover every possible iteration of post-holiday office small talk, doesn't it?
Apart from that one lady who always asks if Santa Claus was "good to you" or gave you a lump of coal. He should probably consider adding those for good measure!
Anyway, if you're the type who doesn't relish small talk, in the workplace or otherwise, you're probably thinking this guy is definitely a visionary.
But his fellow Redditors thought he was much more "peak antisocial grump" than "genius," and they had lots to say about it.
In that sense, you could say his gambit totally backfired—users peppered him with questions.
One user asked, "I mean...you get asked these questions once every year, is it really that hard to engage with your colleagues like a functioning human being?"
Another person queried, "You're 31. You feel the need to tell people at work what you got for Christmas?"
But one user decided to troll the poster with a question tailor-made to get his goat—"No Turkey?!" Come on, man, read the sign!
Several others said they'd do their level best to be even more annoying if their colleague did this.
One wrote they'd "spend a couple of hours thinking of the most specific, irritating questions I could think of just to annoy them. What time did you wake up on Christmas day? Alarm or no alarm?"
And it turns out Lynx spray is about as popular in the UK as Axe is in the States. As one user put it, "Meanwhile somewhere else, people are sharing this and going "this fu-king guy with the Lynx."
But the guy was not without his supporters—several people shared his annoyance with the post-holiday return to the rat race.
One vowed to respond to colleagues' small talk with, "Yeah Christmas was grand, thanks, so tell me, do you believe in God?"
Another felt small talk is "useless," going on to say, "the comments saying you're socially awkward are probably right. But...fu-k them they can talk to each other." Tough but fair!
And one person shared the poster's confusion about people who are enthusiastic about returning to work after the holidays.
"I'm convinced that people who ask/say 'Glad to be back' go home at the end of the day, walk into their...room, turn on the un-shaded light, give it a gentle tap to send the bulb swinging, and then stand in the corner until morning."
Honestly, this person has a point. What is the deal with you can't-wait-to-get-back-to-work people? You're not to be trusted!
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.