Photo: TikTok
She was just joking!
By Taylor Haynes — Written on Nov 12, 2022
A lot of parents have a favorite child, but thankfully, most of them would never admit to it either — except for this mother on TikTok.
Olivia Smith stirred quite the debate on the app after she shared a video of her cuddling her adorable son and making a joke about declaring which of her kids was in her good books.
Her TikTok video has parents debating whether it's ok to have a 'favorite child.'
In the video, Smith started off by saying “tell me you have a favorite child without telling me you have a favorite child.”
She then zoomed in on her son while saying, somewhat sarcastically “I’m not gonna go first because I definitely don’t have a favorite child at the moment."
The young boy then interrupted Smith to say, “I love you mama."
Of course, the mother reacted with love and affection towards her son, but then she ended the video by emphasizing that she didn’t have a favorite.
She did this while widening her eyes and giving clear glances toward her youngest in the video.
Many viewers in the comments were saddened at memories of their own mothers implying or even directly saying that they were not the favorite child.
“As someone who was definitely not the favorite and was told that without being told that, this is so hurtful to your other kids.”
Another commenter said, “My mom just says that my older brother is the favorite and she says she’s joking but [I know] that she means it and it really does break me inside."
We asked life coach Keya Murthy for her perspective on the debate and she told us that a "good parent" likely would not reveal their favorite child.
"Parents who have a favorite child that openly or covertly expresses, make their other children respect them less," she explains.
"As for the siblings who are not the 'favorite' will not struggle to love that 'favorite child' of their parent."
Dr. Sharon Saline, a clinical psychologist who works with children and teenagers, had a similar perspective.
She noted that favoring a child can be disruptive to the family system but points out that it's natural and acceptable for parents to bond differently with different children.
"I think it's crucial for parents to focus on what they love, enjoy and admire about each child to foster positive attachment and caring attunement. Some kids can push your buttons and may well be tougher to parent, but we don't want them to feel less valued or loved."
She showed other parents that it's possible to make all their children feel like their favorite.
In response to all the negative comments, Smith posted a second TikTok to clarify her relationship with her kids.
"Alright, some of y'all are a little sensitive."
She went up to each child and asked them individually who they thought was "mommy's" favorite child.
“It’s me” was the response from all the children.
She posted this to show viewers that she treated her children equally, and they all know that their mommy loved them.
The comments for the second video were not as critical. In fact, most of them included jokes about the "sensitive" commenters.
"They definitely weren’t ever the favorite child so they got bring other people down."
A second viewer commented, "PERFECT response video!!"
"You’re an awesome mom! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You and your kids know the bond you have and nothing and no one else matters!!" said a third.
It takes a super mom to make her children all feel special and like they are the favorites.
The mother ended her video by saying "So chill, laugh a little more."
Taylor Haynes is a writer based in Chicago. She writes for Entertainment & News at YourTango. You can find her on Instagram here.