Photo: TikTok
She didn't want to give up on the relationship, so she concocted a plan to save it.
By Nia Tipton — Written on Feb 27, 2023
A relationship can be quite a lot of work.
Both parties in a romantic relationship have to be conscious when it comes to their partner, making sure their needs are met and the relationship continues to be healthy and there is no imbalance in power.
While some couples have different methods they use when they're going through a rough patch, like couple's therapy, one woman decided to put her boyfriend "on probation" to work through their differences.
A woman gave her boyfriend a 'performance improvement plan' to save their relationship.
In a TikTok video, Nadeen explained that after being with her boyfriend for three months, she noticed that they were experiencing "a lot of issues."
"Ultimately I felt like we weren't compatible, even though we had a lot of love for each other," she shared.
As a last-ditch effort to save the relationship, Nadeen and her boyfriend decided they wanted to implement a performance improvement plan, which in the workforce, is usually what employees are put on by their employers when they're close to being fired.
"I know it's kind of harsh to some of you, but he's an engineer and sometimes it's really hard to communicate with him without using something that he can already relate to," she explained.
While can seem unconventional to most, Nadeen assured viewers that her boyfriend does enjoy it, and their relationship has improved for the better because of it.
"We had a shared note with daily and weekly tasks he needed to do, and a set of things that he needed to work on," she continued. "It worked out well."
Nadeen said that she's even used it to delegate household chores between them, and it has been the "only thing that has stuck and works."
If she wants something to be done, she'll just add it to their shared note, and he'll do it immediately, but if she simply tells him, she noticed that he'll forget and won't do it.
"We also do weekly retrospectives, where we check in with each other at the end of each week to see how we're doing," she added, noting that that's her "favorite" thing they do in their relationship.
In a follow-up, Nadeen defended her decision to use an 'improvement plan' with her boyfriend.
After receiving an influx of comments calling her "condescending" and shaming her relationship, Nadeen decided to provide further detail on the entire situation.
Nadeen explained that she also acknowledged and worked on things that she needed to improve on to make their relationship last.
"We literally tried everything we could for a couple that was only together for three months," she admitted.
She shared that the improvement plan wasn't an "ultimatum" and that it didn't "come from a toxic argument," but rather stemmed from a conversation between her and her boyfriend.
"He's an amazing person," she said of her boyfriend. "He just wasn't a good fit for me at that time."
He had also been the one to tell her that "task lists with clear objectives" are what works best for him.
"It was a lot of work on my part, especially in the beginning, but I think it depends on the couple if they want to put in the effort to make things work out," she pointed out.
Now, Nadeen and her boyfriend have been together for three years due, and while they no longer have an improvement plan, they still check in with each other every week.
"These are just tools that we put in place that works for us, and help us maintain open communication."
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.