Woman Left 'So Angry' After Being Told To Ask Her 'Daddy' For Advice After Asking For Job Interview Feedback
Her anger was justified.
Edmond Dantes / Pexels A woman wrote into the subreddit r/TwoXChromosomes, a place for “both serious and silly content intended for women's perspective,” to vent about a job interview she had.
She described herself as qualified — a woman in her early 30s, with both a Ph.D. and 5 years of industry experience in a male-dominated field; “think aerospace,” she explained.
She asked for Reddit users’ support after she didn’t perform her best in a job interview.
She recognized that her interview performance wasn’t great and asked for feedback from the interviewer, but what he told her had only upset her more.
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‘I’m so angry right now,’ the woman said, after being told by the interviewer to ask her ‘Daddy’ for advice.
“I am looking to change career paths, the potential employer is in a different kind of business in which I lack experience and technical knowledge, nothing that cannot be learned, though” she stated.
During the interview process, the man who interviewed her asked if she was related to “Steve,” who he used to run into at conferences since Steve had been in the same industry.
The two men knew each other professionally, though they “have no personal relationship whatsoever and haven’t talked in many years.”
“I answered truthfully,” the woman said, explaining that Steve is her father.
When the interview ended, she asked for feedback, which is something TikTok content creator @variahaworth advises to do.
Yet the answer the woman received was both shocking and insulting.
The interviewer told her, 'I know it can be difficult but maybe you should be asking your daddy for advice.'
“I thought this was completely inappropriate and incredibly condescending,” she wrote. “He has no idea about what kind of relationship I have with my father.”
She offered context, saying that her father was “never willing to help me advance my career in any form and always told me I had to make it without his help.”
She was so upset that she said she wished she had lied, so “at least my performance at the interview would be evaluated independently.”
“At the same time, I don't think I would want to work for this company anymore even if I go to the next round of interviews,” she explained.
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Many commenters had similar stories of misogyny in the interview process.
One commenter advised her to take action and “write a letter to your interviewer’s manager, CC HR, and describe his inappropriate behavior INCLUDING assuming you’re a nepo baby.”
Someone else noted the inherent sexism in the very way the interviewer phrased his comment.
“It’s so incredibly easy to say this without being a sexist a-–hole,” the user said, offering up the following alternative to what he could have said: “‘You know, if you’re comfortable with it, your father might also be a good resource for advice on this, since he has experience.’”
“The word ‘daddy’ would never have been uttered if you were a man,” said another commenter.
Another user echoed that statement, noticing that “if he'd said 'father' it would have sounded much less patronizing, infantilizing, and belittling."
"I doubt he'd have phrased it the same way to you if you were a male applicant,” said that same user.
One commenter stated that through interviewing, “you’re not just trying to impress them, you're also trying to ascertain if it's a place where you will thrive and grow and succeed.”
“It was very kind of them to put all their cards on the table like that,” said the commenter.
Another user offered the advice that “you should never feel degraded for interviewing, even when it’s a reach. You’re gaining great info about the industry and what you need to know.”
The job hunt is always a challenge, but misogynist attitudes should never be part of the equation.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers celebrity gossip, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.