Photo: TikTok; Mukesh Mohanty/Pexels
She's collected clues by working multiple weddings and paying close attention to the bride and groom.
By Alexandra Blogier — Written on May 25, 2023
As a wedding photographer, Shayla Herrington has seen her fair share of newlyweds so has likely picked up a few clues about how those marriages are going to go — and so have her friends in the same industry.
Herrington took to TikTok to share insights given to her by a fellow wedding photographer who has made a living observing couples on their wedding day.
The wedding photographer shared 3 signs that a married couple won't last based on her experiences.
Herrington made a post on TikTok in which she shared clues as to whose marriages will last. She gave credit for the theory to a fellow wedding photographer she’d worked with, explaining, “One time, I was shooting under this wedding photographer, and they told me they can always tell whether a couple will last or not based on three things.”
She offered context for their take on the longevity of certain couples, saying, “Mind you, this photographer has been in the industry for 10 or 15 years, so I was really interested to hear their theory on this.”
1. One of the spouses is taking too many family photos without their partner.
“The first indicator is, one of the spouses will take, like, more than three family photos without the other spouse,” she said. “This one kinda makes sense to me, just because, you know, you might get a few alone with your mom and dad but to kick them out of more than three photos just seems a little suspicious.”
A wedding is a moment in time for families to come together to witness the love of the couple getting married. As Herrington said, to exclude one’s future family member from multiple photographs does seem odd, and a possible sign that something else is going on beneath the surface.
Herrington continued, sharing the next reason she thinks some spouses split up.
2. Bridesmaids and groomsmen will avoid talking about their party's spouse.
“The second indicator is the bridesmaids or the groomsmen will avoid talking about the spouse when they’re getting ready or doing toasts or anything,” she said. “And that’s typically because they don’t like them.”
Naturally, people want their friends and family to support and care for the person that they’re planning to build a life with — a functional marriage takes so much more than just the love of two people. It takes a community of others behind the couple, ready to offer guidance and comfort when needed. A loving partnership takes all sorts of work, requiring both emotional and practical labor to continue to meet someone else’s needs in a consistent way. It stands to reason that if someone’s loved ones don’t actually like their chosen spouse, the marriage might not last very long.
Herrington then shared the third clue that a marriage could go south.
3. One of the spouses will simply spend more time with other people at the reception.
“The last indicator is one of the spouses will spend more time with friends or family at the reception rather than their spouse.”
Again, this observation seems to hold water. If getting married is a declaration of love and commitment to one’s partner, to spend the majority of one’s time apart from the person you supposedly love most might mean something’s wrong.
Forbes reports that on average, the length of a marriage prior to divorce is eight years. They also report that within the United States, “the marriage rate [is] 6 per 1,000 people,” and that half of first marriages end in divorce, while second and third marriages that end in divorce come in at a much higher rate— 67% of second marriages end and 73% of third marriages do. Forbes also explains that “the majority of marriages, 60%, are first marriages for both partners. But, as many as 20% of unions involve one person who has been married before while another 20% are repeat marriages for both parties.”
While Herrington’s theory is purely anecdotal, she’s certainly been to enough weddings to recognize a pattern.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers celebrity gossip, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.