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"I hope that one day you look back on your life, and you realize how much you gave up," a single mom wrote in an open letter to her ex.
By Alexandra Blogier — Written on Apr 17, 2023
A mother’s anonymous letter to the man who walked out on her and her daughter has resonated with single moms across the world, who have shared the letter across multiple social media platforms.
The single mom writes that she’s proud of the person her daughter is growing into, and even more proud of [herself] for being able to do it on [her] own.”
“I had my doubts at first, but now I see that this has truly just made me a better parent for our child,” she explains.
In a letter to her daughter’s absent father, the single mom says that by abandoning them, he ‘missed out on a great kid.’
The mother seems to still feel somewhat wounded by her ex’s actions, writing, “I wonder if you think about the last words you said to me before leaving, and how you didn’t have the heart to say goodbye.”
She acknowledges the complex emotions she has towards the father of her child, explaining, “I don’t hate you because you gave me a beautiful child, but I have lost all respect for you.”
“You don’t deserve the happiness that a family can bring you, no one else deserves the pain you’ve left us with,” she exclaims.
She states that her daughter’s father walked away from “the most important responsibility” of [his] life, without any regrets.”
The mom explains that raising her daughter alone has proved she's stronger than she thought she was.
The mom has let go of blaming herself for what happened, writing that “things were hard in the beginning, but things are much better now, and I only feel sorry for you because you’re missing out.”
Life and relationship coach Stephanie Lyn addresses the feelings of loneliness and blame that can arise from single parenting.
She states that single parents often experience the feeling of blaming themselves for whatever’s happened in their family life, or blaming their ex for how the relationship turned out.
Yet placing blame on oneself or others is antithetical to accepting the present, and makes it hard to move forward.
Single parenthood has become much more common than it used to be. The 2022 US Census reported that almost 80% of single-family households in the United States are headed by single mothers. What was once deemed socially unacceptable is now becoming a norm of how families are structured.
In her letter to her daughter’s father, the mom references her daughter’s future, and the effect her father’s leaving will have on her.
“You set a perfect example for all the things she will never grow up to be,” the mom writes, while also giving herself credit for the hard work she’s done as a single parent. The mom imagines a future where “our child will see how hard I worked to give her the best life I possibly could.”
She ended her letter by thanking her daughter’s father “for teaching us how strong we can truly be on our own” before signing off as “the woman who is raising your child to be someone you aren't.”
It’s no surprise that the mom’s impassioned open letter to her daughter’s father has struck a chord with so many single moms—she says exactly what she’s feeling, and hopefully, that offers her some peace.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers celebrity gossip, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.