Photo: TikTok
He's not a "victim" just because he was rejected.
By Nia Tipton — Written on Feb 21, 2023
After a teenage boy was turned down by a girl at his school after asking her to be his valentine, many people are pointing out that the "support" he's gotten is extremely misogynistic.
Multiple TikTok users have taken to their platforms to criticize the school's response after hearing about the young boy's rejection, which ultimately cast all of the blame onto the young girl who politely turned down the proposal.
A 14-year-old boy gained support from his school after being rejected by a young girl on Valentine's Day.
According to TODAY, Roman Starr, 14, decided to plan a romantic gesture for Valentine's Day earlier this month.
“You guys. My oldest baby is 14, he has Autism, is very shy and socially awkward,” his mother, Heather Starr wrote in a Facebook post.
“Yesterday he made a poster for a girl at school and asked her to be his valentine at lunch in front of everyone. She said no.”
Roman, who resides in Colorado Springs, Colorado, told his mother that he was "very sad" after approaching a young girl that he went to school with in the cafeteria and asking her if she would be his valentine.
The young girl politely turned him down, but the rejection gained Roman support from his other classmates and teachers at his school.
When he arrived at school the next day, Roman was given notes and cards from his other classmates, who all asked him to be their valentine.
"They asked him to be their Valentine and he said yes,” Starr wrote on Facebook. “Then the entire cafeteria cheered so loud that they disrupted nearby classes and everyone got in trouble and had to have a silent lunch period after that.”
Some of the notes, however, stated that the girl who turned Roman down didn't "deserve him," and that she "should've said yes."
TikTok users blasted the school's response and pointed out that the young girl did nothing wrong by turning him down.
Several TikTok users were aghast at the misogynistic undertones displayed by the school after hearing about Roman's rejection.
In a video, TikTok user Mandy pointed out that the incident was spun in a way that made the teenage boy appear to be the "victim."
"That girl is being demonized, while that boy is being coddled," she asserted, adding that the notes written by Roman's classmates highlight that the young girl did something wrong when she in fact didn't.
"[This] planted the seed that if a girl says no to you, she's beneath you."
That young girl, whoever she is, had every reason to say no when asked to be his valentine, and in a world where women are often harassed, assaulted, or even killed, for rejecting a man's advances, little boys don't need to be pampered and spoiled for being told no.
In another video, TikTok user Kris Renee pointed out the dangers of public proposals in schools, and how many children are "forced to say yes."
Renee acknowledged that as a parent, she is teaching "not just my girls but my boys as well that it is okay to respectfully decline advances or affection."
"You are not obligated to accept those in any way shape or form," she declared. "We need to teach our kids that it is okay to say no. Just because it's in public doesn't make that an automatic acceptance."
From a young age, children, especially young girls, can benefit from being taught that experiencing persistent advances from a boy shouldn't equate to pressure to accept it.
No means no, and a young woman who asserts her position on it doesn't make her evil, and it doesn't turn young men who are rejected into victims.
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.