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Mom Asks How She Should Explain To Her Husband That Their 4-Month-Old Does Not 'Benefit' From Spankings

Photo: Helena Lopes / Pexels
Dad and baby

A mother is seeking advice after claiming that her husband is continually inflicting harm on their young child as a method of discipline, causing him to cry and scream even more than he has been. 

She claims that he has gotten physical with their child, who is only four months old, believing that he will respond to it positively and will improve his behavior. Still, the woman disagrees with her husband’s disciplinary actions and is asking how she should confront him about it. 

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The mother says that her husband believes that their baby will ‘benefit’ from spanking. 

Sharing a screenshot of a Facebook post to the subreddit thread, r/insaneparents, the woman expresses her anger toward her husband over his violent temperament that he directs toward their four-month-old. She asks others how she can help him understand that their baby “does not benefit from spankings.” 

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“He doesn’t spank very hard but it still makes the baby cry even harder and he also screams in his ear…it just makes the baby more upset!” the mother writes. While she claims to love her husband, seeing him hurt their baby “scares the s–t” out of her and she wants to “smack the living daylights out of him.” 

“Even though it [the spanking] is not doing any real harm I still hate it!” she adds. She begs other parents for advice on how she should handle the situation. 

Most users were horrified by the father’s treatment of his infant. 

“Good lord, hitting a four-month-old?!?! That poor little baby is in danger,” one user commented. 

“Who the f–k hits a four-month-old baby for crying? Does this jacka– also shake the baby when it cries too much?” another user wrote. “Screaming in their ear too, that is just disgustingly vile,” another user shared.

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Others pointed out the long-term trauma the father was inflicting on his son. 

“The husband is breaking down the most fundamental trust and security bonds a child has at a time when the child is literally learning what the bedrock of those bonds is,” one user revealed. “The lesson that will be stored in the deep primitive part of the child's brain is ‘you cannot trust people and you will be harmed if you express any of your needs. The world is hostile and terrifying.’” 

“Screaming in a baby’s delicate ear is absolutely damaging. I hope someone takes that baby from him before any hearing loss happens,” another user noted. 

“This is basically the perfect setup for shaken baby syndrome. It’s merely a matter of time before he gets angrier than normal and the baby dies,” another user wrote. 

Others expressed their concerns regarding the woman’s own safety. 

“The fact she's trying to minimize the severity of what's going on in the post despite clearly describing abuse shows there's a clear dynamic between them,” one user pointed out. 

“The fact that she is almost trying to justify by saying she thinks it’s not really doing the baby any real harm- and asking if she is the one in the wrong… it made me wonder if he’s been abusive to her, and that’s why she’s so blind and confused in this situation,” another user commented. 

Others encouraged the mother to call CPS or the police to protect her baby and herself. 

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Spanking is not considered an appropriate method of discipline. 

According to research, children who are spanked by their parents, the people they rely on for protection and comfort, are more prone to anxiety disorders and experience more difficulties in social skills. 

Instead, parents are advised to discipline their children in healthier manners, including praising positive behavior, using calm consequences and setting clear expectations. These methods will prove to be beneficial to both parents and their children and they will likely establish a stronger relationship. 

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.