Mom Tells All Parents Having Kid Birthday Parties That She Refuses To Stay & 'Volunteer' Her Time To Watch Her Own Child At The Party

If parents plan a birthday party for their child, they should be prepared to actually run it without the help of other parents.

mother, birthday party @jaii.bee / TikTok 

Most of us can agree that birthday parties are a joyous occasion of celebration. As much fun as they are, they also prove to be a massive headache with all the planning and requirements that go into them — especially children’s birthday parties. 

One woman is pointing out the difficult truths of children’s birthday parties and pleading with other parents to make the experiences easier for her. 


The mom claims that she refuses to volunteer at birthday parties her children are invited to and her time to watch them. 

JB is a mother of three and has attended her fair share of children’s birthday parties that her own children get invited to. To her, all of the work that goes into birthday parties — even if they are not your own child’s — is exhausting and an experience that she dreads participating in. 

The mother took to TikTok to highlight all of the unnecessary struggles parents make other parents endure for their children’s birthday party and lists a few ways they can make the occasion more enjoyable. 


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“If you are a parent who's throwing a birthday party, I need you to do a few things for me,” JB starts off her video. 

She asks parents to specify on the party invitation whether or not she needs to stay and supervise rather than springing it on her when she arrives to drop off her kids. Along the lines of being specific, she also begs parents to provide a little more of it when she asks what she should purchase for them as a gift rather than simply saying, “Oh, they like everything!” 


“What do they like? Is it taco trucks? Is it play dough? Is it craft s–t? Do they like going to the movie theater? Do they like Subway? I don’t give a s–t, but what is it?” JB says. “I don’t want to go and spend $40 to $50 on some bulls–t that’s not gonna get played with.” 

Giving the birthday person a “bad gift” or something they have no interest in playing with is something that she claims gives her anxiety. 

“If you’re planning a party, you should be prepared to answer these questions,” JB urges. “It’s not rude to tell [someone] that your kid doesn’t like certain things, I’m asking you specifically to tell me what they like, so could you do that?” 

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While the majority of parents agreed with JB’s opinion regarding birthday gifts, some believed that parents should be expected to stay at a birthday party their child gets invited to. 

“You can’t trust anyone anymore. Maybe some stay to keep the kids safe,” one TikTok user commented. Others felt that it was necessary for parents to stay and assist with keeping an eye on all of the children. 

In a follow-up video, JB explained her reasoning as to why she does not want to stay and volunteer at children’s birthday parties that her children attend after she says she made many mothers angry with her statement. 



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Claiming that she does not take back what she said, the mother shares that she has three children, and when one of them gets invited to a birthday party, the other two get upset when they come home since they were not invited. 

“Your kids having a birthday party is already a major inconvenience to me,” JB says. After spending money purchasing a gift and chauffeuring her children to the birthday party location, staying to volunteer seems unreasonable. 

“My time is valuable,”  the mother argues. She also points out that as a parent throwing a birthday party for their child, they have a responsibility they should be well aware that they signed up for. 

“That’s a party, babes,” JB says in response to parents who claim they do not want to look after X amount of children who attended the party. 


She also highlights the dreaded small talk that she would be forced to make with other parents she doesn’t know. “I don’t need to be miserable watching my kids have a good time,” she says.

In terms of trust, JB knows that her children will be just fine at a party without her for a few hours.  “I’m assuming that if you’re gonna go out of your way to spend the amount of money that it cost to have a birthday party you’re probably somewhat of a decent parent and my kid is gonna be fine for like two hours with 15 other kids,” she says. 

“I think those of you who are like, ‘you better stay,’ I’m not coming [to the party].” 


Thankfully, JB is not the only parent who feels this way. Other parents shared their opinion and expressed them in the comments section. 

“I prefer that parents leave. I’m not trying to socialize and run a birthday party,” one mother revealed. “I have five kids and I 100% agree. I will not be staying,” another added. 

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.