Mom Says Her 'Heart Hurts' After Her Husband Told Her 5-Year-Old 'You Are Not My Real Son & I Am Not Your Dad'
The mother left after her husband made such a heartbreaking confession.
TikTok Single mothers face numerous challenges when it comes to dating and finding a partner who not only accepts them but also embraces their children. One of the biggest concerns for single mothers is finding someone who will treat their children well and provide them with a positive male role model.
It can be a relief for single parents when they do find a partner who is willing to step up and love their kids. A family looks different for everyone and you shouldn't need a blood tie to feel love and responsibility to a child. But one mom is learning that some people don't see things that way and she's facing an enormous heartbreak because of it.
In a TikTok video, a mom says her husband told her son he's not his 'real son.'
One mother of two named Onna Kitsune posted a short clip on her TikTok account, telling viewers that she had left her husband after he told her five-year-old, “You are not my real son, and I am not your dad.”
To add context, the heartbroken mom explains that the boy’s father biological father committed suicide when he was just two years old and that his stepdad was the only father he had ever known. She says her son has been calling her husband "dad" for years. "Our hearts hurt," she writes.
In the video, she shows two young children asleep in a car and explains that she left her husband. In a follow-up video, the devastated mom says she and her kids are living in a hotel as she awaits housing.
When a relationship begins to deteriorate, maintaining a relationship between kids and the step-parent is not easy. In good times, everyone would like to think that if a marriage goes sour, all parties will act in the best interests of the kids, but that is not always true.
According to the United States Census Bureau, 1300 new stepfamilies are formed every day and 50% (60 million) of kids under the age of 13 are currently living with one of their biological parents and that parent’s partner.
Divorce already has a detrimental effect on little ones and to build a new relationship with a stepparent only to have that one dissolve as well can be extremely traumatic. Judith Wallerstein, a psychologist, claims that only 45% of children "do well" after their parent's divorce meanwhile 41% are doing poorly, worried, underachieving, deprecating, and often angry.
Being abandoned by a parent, or someone you considered a parent can lead to several negative outcomes such as involvement in abusive relationships, anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, co-dependency, clinginess, and a number of other undesirable impacts.
Building a bond with a stepchild is a huge responsibility. You have to start by creating a friendship on their time, showing interest in their hobbies and passions, knowing your place in the situation and staying in it, being transparent with them, and committing to treating them no different than you would your biological child.
If you meet the love of your life and know that they have kids, it is on you to decide if you’re ready for that responsibility. Step-parenting is not a fun amusement park ride you can jump on and off at will. Even if the relationship doesn’t last, you have to be willing to be in it for the long haul where kids are involved.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.