Photo: Alexander Dummer on Unsplash
She isn't giving her toddler a traditional childhood.
By Nia Tipton — Written on Jan 24, 2023
A mom is defending her decision to label herself as a "respectful" parent who allows her daughter certain liberties.
While the gentle parenting technique has become quite popular over the last few years, many people are vehemently against the notion of creating a partnership with a child instead of the idea of traditional parenting.
However, a mother from Yorkshire in the UK, Zoe Ayre, 36, has found success from the idea of being a "respectful" parent and is sharing her methods with other parents.
Ayre describes herself as a 'respectful' parent who doesn't let her daughter face punishments or have a set bedtime.
Ayre, who lives in Yorkshire with her husband Andrew, and their 1-year-old daughter Hattie, revealed that she first discovered "respectful" parenting after reading "The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read.”
"I’ve had comments, particularly from the older generation, where this approach is unusual to them,” Ayre said, according to Mirror UK.
Ayre credited the book for helping her be able to re-evaluate the "traditional" childhood she had wanted to give her daughter.
Now, Ayre lets her daughter go to sleep whenever she wants, doesn't force her to share with others, and never doles out punishments.
"I rarely have an overtired, upset child because she's been able to sleep whenever she needs to. It's really helped me emotionally because I don't have the added stress of expectations and fitting our lives into a set routine," she explained.
Ayre admitted that her toddler will sometimes go to bed as late as 9:30 pm if she's had a nap in the afternoon.
She also made sure to teach her daughter the importance of saying "no," and lets Hattie refuse affection and physical touch from people she doesn't want it from, including family members.
Ayre also revealed that she doesn't see a need to set any punishments for her daughter, saying that children often "miss the point."
"I also don't enforce punishments in our household, as I think they miss the point of why they are behaving like that in the first place," she said.
Ayre defended her parenting technique against criticisms.
While she acknowledged that many people have found fault in how she decides to parent her daughter, at the end of the day, Ayre pointed out that the idea of "respectful" parenting works for her.
She explained that despite the unconventionally of free-range parenting, she hopes Hattie will be able to "stand up for what she believes in" when she gets older.
"I hope this will mean she is able to advocate for herself and to stand up for what she believes in," she said.
Ayre also pointed out that she doesn't always follow her own "respectful" parenting techniques, and will oftentimes slip up.
"Of course, there have been times when I've reacted in a way that I wish I hadn't, for instance shouting and telling her off. It's those times when I've slipped up, that I question myself and reaffirm my approach is what feels right for me."
"The reality is that our children are learning – their brains aren't fully developed and they are still learning how to interact with the world around them."
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.