Missouri Man Threatens Woman's Life Who Didn't Say 'Thank You' After He Held The Door Open For Her At A Gas Station

Add this to the list of reasons why women are often scared to reject a man's unwanted advances...

young woman in a parking lot looking concerned as someone follows her. PeopleImages.com - Yuri A / Shutterstock

A Missouri man was arrested after threatening a woman who he held the door open for.

Vaughn Spivey, a 36-year-old man from St. Louis, Missouri, was charged with one count each of unlawful use of a weapon and first-degree harassment by the St. Louis County Prosecuting Attorney's Office following an incident where Spivey pulled a gun on a woman for not speaking to him.

He threatened a woman's life for not saying 'thank you' when he held the door open for her.

According to KSDK, the incident happened on July 24, 2023 at a Mobil gas station in St. Louis, after Spivey had held the door open for an unnamed woman and immediately became enraged when she didn't tell him "Thank you" after the fact.


Spivey began hurling insults and cursing at the woman for not expressing gratitude. When she eventually exited the gas station, the woman noticed that Spivey was now standing beside her car, speaking to her mother as he continued ranting and cursing her for not saying "Thank you."

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At one point, Spivey pulled out his firearm and aimed it at the woman, threatening to follow her home and shoot her. The anonymous woman called police to the gas station, where Spivey was apprehended and charged.

“There is no reason that a perceived slight or disrespect should escalate to flashing a gun and threatening violence. Guns and threats solve nothing and only cause bigger problems,” St. Louis County Prosecuting Attorney Wesley Bell told KSDK.


Incidents such as this one highlight why women are often afraid to reject and be assertive toward men in public.

More often than not we hear stories of women who have been physically assaulted and sometimes killed for not entertaining men who speak to them in public. These frightening incidents are only made worse when looking at how often women report facing gender-based violence.

According to the World Bank, 1 in 3 women have experienced violence of some kind inflicted by a man, while 35% of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence.

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Stories in the media, personal experiences, and anecdotes shared by fellow women can often shape women's perceptions of the potential risks associated with rejecting and ignoring a man's unwanted advances. In a world where women's personal boundaries are often disrespected, there is always an underlying fear that women experience while out in the world.

The shared experiences of gender-based violence and harassment can create a collective trauma for women, especially knowing that countless others have faced similar situations. Oftentimes, men feel this certain entitlement to a woman's time and energy, which is only rooted in the patriarchy and gender dynamics.

In a world where women continue to grapple with issues related to personal safety, it's important to emphasize that women shouldn't have to face violence for simply ignoring a man in public. Incidents like these can also spur conversations about necessary reforms and policy changes, especially when it comes to stricter gun control measures and laws against harassment and physical threats. 

It is crucial that women's safety and dignity are prioritized, and that societal norms continue to evolve when it comes to rejecting the notion that women owe anything to men, be it a thank you or any other form of attention.


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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.