Photo: August de Richelieu / Pexels
He is worried about how the kids will turn out.
By NyRee Ausler — Written on Mar 06, 2023
To parent or not to parent? That is a question many adults end up asking as they consider what they want to do with their lives.
About half of today’s pregnancies are planned while the other half are unintended.
One man took to the "r/unpopularopinion" subreddit to share his thoughts on whether or not people should have children and equated the act of planning to have kids to deciding to buy a dog.
He believes parents have kids because they want someone to love, spend time with, and watch develop into a fully functioning person.
The Redditor explained that the difference between a child and a pet is, “The dog will always be your responsibility, [but] kids will turn into adults and will have to live on [their] own.”
He also said that because we can never be sure about how our kids will turn out, it is selfish to bring them into the world.
The man claimed that in his home country, Mexico, no matter how “great” their parents are, girls are likely to be sexually harassed, and can end up “messed up pretty bad.”
He pointed out rising home prices and said that it is becoming more and more difficult to afford a home and believes it might be nearly impossible for future generations to do so.
The man said he does understand the parental instinct and the need to procreate, but suggested that instead of having biological children, people consider adoption to help existing kids in need.
Readers were not at all impressed with his ‘unpopular opinion’ and pointed out some areas that he might be misinformed in.
The first comment read, “I don’t think you realize how difficult it is to meet the standards of adoption agencies and child social workers. Let people have children if they want. Let them not have children if they don’t want.”
According to the New York Times, adopting is a long, complex, and emotional process filled with legal roadblocks and financial hurdles. The adoption of a newborn baby can cost upwards of $45,000.
Let’s not forget the commitment and knowledge required to work through problems that may have started with the adopted child well before a prospective parent came into their life.
Another Redditor addressed the original poster sarcastically, stating, "Come on guys it's more fun [and] it's less selfish if it just happens by accident and you end up with a kid you might not have wanted."
Studies have found that there are big consequences for children based on whether or not they were planned.
Mistimed or unwanted children receive fewer developmental resources at home, have less-positive relationships with their mothers, and tend to be more fearful.
But the poster does make a valid point in his concern about the risks of sexual violence to women in Mexico.
According to the Global Database on Violence Against Women, 24.6% of Mexican women are victimized by their partners, and 38.8% are violated by non-partners.
But many commenters point out that birthing a child has never been a guarantee that offspring will have a perfect life, while others agreed with the man’s take on how unaffordable the world is becoming for the next generation.
The Pew Research Center reported that during the pandemic and adjoining economic crisis, birth rates in the United States dropped from the already record low.
56% of non-parents under 50 are choosing not to have kids, citing the economy, the environment, and many other concerns.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.