Man Begs His Girlfriend To Stay In The Kitchen & Cook To Avoid 'Bad Treatment' From His Family

He wants her to make a good first impression, but is neglecting her first impression of them.

woman cooking Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels, Reddit 

A man caused tension with his girlfriend after he insisted she partakes in his family’s “sexist” tradition for her to make a good first impression.

After she refused, he turned to Reddit to ask if he was in the wrong to ask her in the first place.

The man wanted his girlfriend to stay in the kitchen and cook with his family to avoid ‘bad treatment’ from them.

Sharing his story to the subreddit, r/AmITheA-–hole, the man revealed that his family still holds some questionable traditions that have rubbed his girlfriend the wrong way.


“We have big family dinners every few months where we all meet at my great grandfather’s estate and eat together,” he wrote. During these get-togethers, the women are generally expected to be in the kitchen cooking the meal while the men chat and refrain from helping in the kitchen.

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While the man realizes that the tradition is problematic, he claims there is little he can do to put a stop to it. “I am fully aware it’s sexist as hell. That being said I am one of the youngest people in the family and my protests mean literally nothing,” he wrote.


The man adds that there are a few women who refuse to comply and cook at family events; however, they are often “ostracized.” “When I have seen new partners not cook, it’s gone bad. Like completely ostracized, not speaking, cattiness, rudeness, etc,” he revealed.

When the man informed his girlfriend, who he was planning to bring to the family dinner, about the family tradition, he expected her to follow it for the sake of getting off to a good start with his family. “I want for her to meet everyone and for everyone to get used to her being around, but when I explained to her the tradition she was understandably bothered,” he wrote.

“I told her that I understood where she was coming from; however, it was best for everyone if she just played along. I told her this isn’t a permanent thing and that I am only asking her to do this so that she can avoid bad treatment from the rest of the family.”

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Man Begs His Girlfriend To Stay In The Kitchen & Cook To Avoid 'Bad Treatment' From His FamilyPhoto: Reddit

The man’s girlfriend disagreed, slamming the sexist tradition as “unacceptable” and told him that she would no longer be attending the dinner.

“I’ve tried to find a compromise with her on this but she won’t budge and she’s pissed at me,” the man claimed. “She told me that if I think it’s acceptable to make her do this I’m just as bad as everyone else.”


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However, he argues that while he is against the tradition of the woman remaining in the kitchen, it is about his girlfriend establishing a good first impression with the family than it is about enforcing gender stereotypes.

Redditors disagreed with the man in the comments section and criticized him for caring more about his family’s impression of his girlfriend than her impression of them.

“What about your family making a good first impression on HER and not expecting her to be an unpaid cook and servant?” one user pointed out.

“It reads as though you care far more that your family approves of your choice than you do that she approves of your family,” another user commented.


Others bashed the out-of-date idea of women having to cook and clean for family events altogether. “Your family is bullying women that don't cook? That's horrible. That's just so wrong,” one user wrote.

They encouraged the man to start helping in the kitchen himself if he wants to put an end to this sexist tradition: “Playing along with sexism just perpetuates it.”

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.