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'I Caught My Fiancé With A 16-Year-Old Girl At A Coffee Shop & I Don't Know What To Do'

Photo: Dragan Grkic / Shutterstock
Coffee date

A woman called off her wedding after she caught her fiance meeting with a teenage girl behind her back.

The 24-year-old woman posted about the situation to the subreddit r/relationships, asking for advice on her situation. The subreddit allows users to share relationship advice with others who may be struggling with them. 

The woman says that she and her 25-year-old fiance “Lee” were supposed to get married in July. She adds that they dated for 4 years and were engaged for 11 months at the time.

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She says that Lee was acting strangely for about a month. He randomly disappeared at times after work, and occasionally on weekends. Because her birthday was coming up, she initially just assumed he was planning a surprise and thought nothing of it.

She then saw him with an underage girl at a coffee shop.

“They didn't see us enter so we decided to sit on the other end and just keep an eye on him,” the woman wrote.

“I trust Lee and from the looks of them they didn't seem romantically involved or anything like that. It looked more like she was confiding in him or he was comforting her. 

“They talked for at least 15 more minutes or so before we saw him look at his phone, hand her some money and quickly leave with her, looking around giving her a hug and then they both went their own ways.”

She confronted him about it later on and he claimed the girl was a family friend going through a hard time.

However, he refused to share any additional details, not even her name until his fiance “fought tooth and nail” to make him tell her. He said he would tell her more at a later date, but that only angered her more.

She asked his mother if she knew anything about the situation, despite his pleas not to. His mom then called him and this time he had a different story. He coaches soccer for kids under 16, and said he was helping the girl pay for uniforms.

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The woman then sought advice from other family members, and they agreed that the whole situation was strange. She then went through his laptop and found out he was withdrawing hundreds of dollars. She assumed the withdrawals were for the girl.

“I'm fed up to the point where I want to call off the wedding completely, I don't understand why he won't just tell me what's going on,” the woman wrote. “I tell him how it makes me feel and all he can do is apologize and tell me about how sorry he is. What could be so important that he'd had to keep it a secret from myself, his family and withdraw money from his account?”

She says she canceled the wedding in an edit to the post. 

Readers shared mixed reactions to the woman’s story. Some commenters defended the woman, agreeing that the situation was bizarre.

“Even if there's nothing romantic or sexual, I wouldn't be able to trust someone I was about to marry who couldn't tell me who this person was who he was giving hundreds of dollars to,” one commenter said. 

However, the majority of commenters thought that she should’ve approached the situation differently. Many criticized the woman for “spying” on her fiance and not respecting his privacy when he asked for it.

“It's a bit alarming that you had to go talk to everyone else in his life like you are on a spy mission,” another commenter said. “I'm close to my MIL, but I would never go behind my SO's back if I was concerned about him lying to me. I've gone to my MIL for advice, but trying to contradict something he's told me? That's just downright disrespectful and untrustworthy.”

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Jonathan Alfano is a writer who focuses on news and entertainment topics. Follow him on Twitter to keep up with his content.

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