Photo: Gwenith_rachelle / TikTok
Your grandchildren are not your own children!
By Megan Quinn — Written on Feb 19, 2023
They say, “mother knows best,” but some grandmothers may disagree with that old saying, believing that they are all the wiser since they have more experience raising children.
Every child is different with varying needs and expectations, which are often determined by their parents, and exclusively their parents when they are especially young.
When this grandma babysits, however, those rules may go out the window.
One grandmother is calling out those who disregard their grandchild’s parents' expectations, claiming that it will only divide them from their grandbabies.
The woman responded to a video of a grandmother throwing out the instruction list her grandson’s parents gave her while she was caring for him.
The grandmother posted a since-deleted video of herself cradling her infant grandson as she looked after him.
His parents had provided her with a list of instructions for the baby, which she films herself glancing at quickly before shaking her head and tossing it out.
Although the woman reportedly later claimed that the video was a joke, one grandmother took it upon herself to explain why grandparents should never do this.
She claimed that disregarding your children’s instructions for looking after their own children was disrespectful.
Unlike some grandparents, she prefers to be given instructions that detail how to care for her grandbaby.
“I ask them for their instructions on when he needs his bottles, what food [he can eat],” she says. “It’s because I respect them as parents.”
Despite raising five children herself, the woman acknowledges that each parent has the right to bring up their children on their own terms.
“I think there’s no quicker way to disrespect your grown adult children than to have that mentality of, 'I’ve had kids so I know what I’m doing,'” she shares.
The woman claims that she always asks for permission before doing something with her grandson and highly abides by his parent’s rules.
“It’s just a respect thing. I don't think it’s good to belittle your children,” she adds.
Other TikTok users praised the grandmother for respecting her children’s boundaries.
"I know it’s the bare minimum, but thank you for respecting your son & [daughter-in-law’s] parenting routine. I wish more people were like you," one user commented.
“And that’s how to maintain a healthy relationship with your adult children and their babies!!” another user wrote.
“Yesss! It is so frustrating when grandparents don’t go with what you’re trying to teach your kids!” another shared.
Others pointed out that a lot has changed when it comes to child-rearing since grandparents were parents themselves, and there are more rules to respect.
“Babies safety things have changed so much in the last 20-30 years. My MIL [mother-in-law] tried putting my baby to sleep on their tummy, yes I will leave a list,” one user shared.
“There have been cases where the child has died in the care of the grandparent due to their negligence and ignorance of the parents' wishes,” another user pointed out.
It is safe to assume that this grandmother will be in her grandchildren’s lives for a long time if she maintains her current mindset.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.