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The gentlemanly quality women can't get enough of.
By Amanda Chatel — Last updated on Nov 15, 2023
Note to men everywhere: Quit with the push-ups and start working on your manners.
You may think your six-pack abs are what the ladies want, but they actually want you to hold the door open for them instead.
A 2012 poll found that of 1,500 single Canadian women between the ages of 18 and 40, more than half prefer chivalry over looks and a hot physique.
Although feminism is obviously at the forefront of the modern woman's mind, ladies like the idea of being taken out, wined, and dined, and actually having the tab being picked up like men used to in the days of old. That's right: Courting is alive and well in the hearts of women everywhere; now if only we could get men to put it into action.
Women want you to hold the door open for them, and they want you to call them beautiful, and for men to look at them like they really see them, and not just someone they might be able to get lucky with later.
We can all agree that the dating game has changed, especially over the last twenty years. Someone can find a date in 15 seconds if their heart truly desires it. Gone are the days of approaching cute strangers in coffee shops and staying up late just talking.
According to the poll, more than half of women still expect the man to ask them out (59%), hold the door for them (54%), and pay for the first date (51%). Even more surprisingly, women aged 25-35 have never tried to find love online.
Still, technology does play a part when it comes to finding love. 52% of the respondents said they use Facebook to check out prospective dates, 43% admitted to texting explicit things, and 27% said they had e-mailed or texted scandalous photos.
I don't remember the last time I was on a date and the guy even opened the door for me, and the only man I've ever met who stands every time I leave or return to a dinner table is my father — and only when we're out at a restaurant. Honestly, I'm shocked every time a stranger holds a door open for me or even steps aside to let me go into a building first. I sort of stand there, confused and startled, wondering if there's a hidden camera somewhere nearby to catch my reaction.
The concept of manners in today's society, exhibited by both men and women, seems virtually non-existent.
People's lives often move too fast to care about decency and the ego trumps all else. However, if we could all just slow down, re-evaluate how we deal with one another, and actually use the manners our parents taught us, the world would be a far more pleasant place. And based on this poll, men would be getting more dates.
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Amanda Chatel is an essayist and intimacy health writer for Yourtango, Shape Magazine, Hello Giggles, Glamour, and Harper's Bazaar.