Love

Women Go Wild For Men Who Love Them These 5 Specific Ways

Photo: Priscilla Du Preez | Unsplash
Woman being loved on by partner, smiling

So you've finally found the one and are looking for ways to make her feel loved. Are you worried you're a clumsy person who doesn’t get women at all, you won't know what women want, and if you don’t do some research, you might lose the one you love? When you love someone, your goal is a successful and healthy relationship with them.

Men and women are different, so it is hard to imagine how any relationship could ever work. So, what do women want in their relationships? I am here to tell you successful and healthy relationships are entirely possible. I'm in one. There are many things my guy does to make me feel loved every day. And you can, too.

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Women go wild for men who love them in these 5 specific ways:

1. Be honest with her.

So, tell me the truth, how many times have you told her a lie to protect and keep her from getting hurt? How many times have you figured what she doesn't know won't hurt her? I have a friend who, when he dates a woman and doesn't want to see her again, won't tell her. When she reaches out, he curtly responds. When she wants to do something, he vaguely makes an excuse. He is waiting for her to walk away from him. Why? So he doesn’t "hurt her."

What men don’t understand is women are stronger than men think they are. So many of my clients say if their guy would tell them the truth, they would be able to decide whether to fish or cut bait instead of sitting around wondering about his behavior.

So, if you have done something you know has upset her, tell her! If you are going to work late, tell her. Even if you think it will upset her. It will upset her more when dinner is on the table, and she gets a text from you saying you won't be home. Be proactive. I promise one of the most effective ways to make her feel loved is to respect her strength and be honest with her, even if you are scared of how she might react. If you try to keep a secret from her, it will eventually come out. And when it does, her trust in you will be violated, and good luck coming back from that one.

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2. Make time for her.

I know, I know. Life is busy. There is work, friends, sports, mothers, kids, pets, and chores, and they all take up a lot of time. That being said, while all of those things are important, the most important thing is right in front of you —your woman. Imagine if you didn’t have her. What would you do, then?

When your golf game needs some work, you practice more often. If a project at work is particularly challenging, you stay late to get it done right. So, why don't so many men put the time into their relationship to keep it happy? Spending time with your woman doesn’t mean not paying attention to the other things in your life. It means making her a priority.

I have a client who plays golf every weekend with his wife’s permission. He reached out to me because he felt distant from her and wasn’t sure why. I suggested he not play golf one Saturday a month and make that a Saturday just for them. What happened? His wife was thrilled to spend more time with him, and she felt special because she knew he was giving up time doing something he loved for her. Her distance immediately disappeared, and they had fun on those Saturdays. So, make her a priority. I promise she will feel loved.

Photo: Roman Samborskyi via Shutterstock

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3. Use your words to tell her how you feel.

I can’t tell you how often I've asked a client if they tell their partner how much they love and appreciate them, or how beautiful they are. What do my clients usually say? I don’t have to tell her. She already knows. I can promise you if she knows you love her, she wants to hear it from you. Why? Because every woman (and man) likes to be told how and why they are special to you.

Today, my beau and I were discussing how he didn't have many habits that bugged me. Sure, he leaves his OJ cup on the counter every morning, and his truck is so old it’s often unreliable, but I realized none of those things matter because he tells me he loves me all the time. Telling me how much he cares gets him out of a lot of trouble and strengthens our relationship.

   

   

4. Don’t be scared to be vulnerable.

Here's a funny story. A client of mine’s wife got out of bed in the middle of the night and stubbed her toe on the treadmill he got her for her birthday. She immediately started ranting about the stupid treadmill, how frustrated she was at work, and how she didn’t want her mother to come over the next day. My client was stumped by her behavior.

As a woman, I can tell you what the reality was. What happened was his wife was in pain after stubbing her toe, and she needed to put some words to the pain. Those things weren’t a problem for her, but they were on her mind, and the pain made them worse.

Don’t be scared of her emotions. Women have emotions and are way more likely to display those emotions. Her emotions might seem big and unmanageable to you, and you might do everything you can to avoid them. If you don’t let your fear of her emotions drive you but, instead, seek to understand they are real — and definitely OK — you will make her feel loved. She will know you see her, trust her, understand and respect her feelings. It might seem hard to believe, but life and love will go on if your wife has a big cry at the end of a long day.

5. Listen to her.

There is a popular YouTube video about a woman who is telling her partner she is struggling with headaches and pressure and she doesn’t know what to do.

The camera pans left, and we see she has a nail coming out of her forehead. The camera pans to the man who tries to point out the nail and suggests removing it might ease the pressure. She gets mad because he is always trying to fix her when she wants him to listen. When he does just that, she calms down and kisses him. Or, at least tries to. It’s hard with the nail on her forehead.

The number one issue I hear from women is when they are trying to express how they feel to their man, he doesn’t acknowledge their feelings. Instead tries to get to the root cause and fix them. Women don’t want this. Women want to be seen and heard and not fixed. If you take one thing from this article, let it be this. Next time our woman is distressed, sit there, listen, acknowledge what she says, and be empathetic. Don't try to fix her!

It's way easier than you might think to make her feel loved. Unfortunately, men and women struggle to understand what each other needs, so they stab around in the dark while trying to do the best they can. Well, here I am, a woman and a life coach, to tell you what you can do to make her feel loved. Be honest with her, make time, talk to her, don't be frightened of her emotions, and don't try to fix her! If you can do these for her, you will make great inroads into making her feel loved. You can do it!

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Mitzi Bockmann is an NYC-based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate who works exclusively with women to help them be all they want to be. Mitzi's bylines have appeared in The Good Men Project, MSN, PopSugar, Prevention, Huffington Post, and Psych Central, among many others.

This article was originally published at Let Your Dreams Begin. Reprinted with permission from the author.