Love

4 Things Women Need Their Husbands To Know — That Men Don’t Want To Hear

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brunette wife smiling as bearded husband kisses her cheek

There are so many challenges couples face in their relationships.

The dynamics of marriage vary for each couple and can depend on many factors like how long a couple has been together and the emotional baggage we bring with us from past relationships and childhood

In today's world, marriage is growing ever more challenging to engage in and commit to. We are part of a society that has zero to little tolerance for anyone else’s challenges, needs or weaknesses.

Ideally, marriage should be the one space where we can just drop it all and be who we are in all our humanness.

Here is the thing: What it takes to get into a good relationship is also required to keep it alive and healthy.

If people want to keep their relationships together, they need to start listening to their partner. Too many people don't.

Even more importantly, they need to care how their partner is feeling.

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Any relationship that has been around for more than a few months will suffer from familiarity of some nature. 

I have heard frequently from many men through my years of coaching couples that they don’t understand why the relationship needs maintenance. They have a tough time comprehending that relationships are a living, breathing thing that needs to be tended to and nurtured in order to stay healthy, alive or thrive.

Men get into “fix it mode” and they don’t know how to deal with the emotional struggles of the woman. 

So what is the answer? Men: relationships need to be cared for. Plain and simple, you never get to stop courting her if you want to keep her and keep her happy, desiring you, and respecting you.

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Four things your wife has tried to tell you, but you don't want to hear. 

1. What she needs and wants.

She tells you her love language by the way that she loves you. She is built opposite of you so you cannot think like a man to make your woman happy and create a successful marriage with her.

You must actually learn about women, how we think, what sex is like for us, how our hormones play a role on everything, whats important to the female mind, heart and body.

But, that's not good enough to just read or take a few classes, no, you need to actually ask your woman about her own unique wants and needs and then you need to pay very close attention to what ignites her or shuts her down. 

2. How few orgasms she's having and what to do about it.

You see women have been raised to protect the delicate ego of the man. It’s a well known fact that women lie frequently about having orgasms. There are countless reasons why women do this, the main reason is pretty simple.

Women don’t want to hurt your feelings. We are made to believe that if we speak up, the man won't change anything, anyway.

Early on in a relationship, sex was explorative, playful, and adventurous. As time goes on, sex can become mundane, boring, and even a chore. Women crave and need adventure. It is shown that women become bored in relationship far quicker than men do and the main reason for your woman’s boredom is that sex became a routine.

Same old same old, no more adventure, play or foreplay. You stopped being concerned about what makes her feel desired and good in the bedroom. When this happens your woman starts to slowly get turned off and shuts down. 

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3. She wants to be courted.

You see courting is about romance. Women want a man to pay attention to the little things in her life, ask her about her day and then actively listen when she shares. Not in a Mr. Fix it way, but as the compassionate partner in her life.

Courting is about taking the time to plan out new adventures for the two of you to go experience together. Remember that life can become mundane and boring because it's just work, home, kids, etc.

This does not breed desire, passion, connection or depth for that matter. It leaves your woman feeling empty and unseen, like she does not matter.

What did you do when you were trying to prove yourself to her? When you were fresh in the game of relationship with her? Not that she needs it at this very same level, but you better believe that she needs it and so does your relationship if you want it to be healthy and last.

Men put far too little value on flower giving or the random gift. And when I say gift, pay attention to what she really likes and would love, not what is useful or needed or that you as a man want. 

4. She likes foreplay to get in the mood.

I want to scream this one from the rooftops! It is most likely the number one issue that women have with men. Lack of hearing her about this can cause her to cheat on you or deny you sex. If you don’t want to land yourself in either of these situations, then get on the foreplay bus.

Women need rev-up time. We do not function like a man — our bodies are not on board with just a quick kiss and grab. No, we need touch, passionate kissing, playfulness, and a man with a desire to learn our bodies as our bodies are ever changing as women.

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Your woman, most likely has tried to share these things with you. She may have cried, threatened, or fought with you about some unmeaningful thing in hopes that you could read her mind. Perhaps,  she has not linked these things to the way that she is feeling or viewing you or the relationship. 

Women may not have a full understanding as to their sexuality and how interlinked it is with all of their life and happiness. But, you can learn with her as she navigates womanhood. 

Happy wife, happy life — as the saying goes.The best way to have her happy is to focus on these things listed here. Stop treating her like she is a dude, or like she is some hormonal crazy chick. 

Stop worrying about fixing her troubles unless she asks. Instead, focus on building back the bonds, desire, creating passion, and adventure.

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Rene Schooler is an expert intimacy and relationship coach, author, and speaker. She works with singles and couples around the world to restore the desire and intimacy in their relationships.

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