What Kissing Really Means In A Long-Term Relationship (And Why You Shouldn't Ever Stop)

Pucker up!

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Kissing. It's something we do every day... If we're lucky! Sure, we all have days where kissing isn't on the menu, but for the most part, it's central to our lives. We kiss friends hello on the cheek. We kiss our kids on the top of the head.

But why do people kiss and how does kissing in a relationship remind the other person that they are loved? Well, that's why kissing plays such an important in our romantic relationships. 


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From making out to a simple peck on the lips, when we kiss someone we're in love with, we're not doing it just because it's nice. We're doing it because we have to. We feel compelled to do it, drawn to them, turned on, comforted, or even simply just seen. ​

What kissing does in a relationship is as simple as it is crucial: It connects you. Here's how. 

1. It makes you take a minute out. 

Think about what your body does when you kiss someone. You stop the other activities you may be engaged in. You change the way you breathe. You close your eyes. It's a lot like meditation.


Taking time out to kiss your partner isn't just a way of reconnecting with them, it's a way of reconnecting with yourself. A kiss isn't that different from the relaxation you get after a good session of yoga or meditation. It returns you to your center, restoring you and getting you through your day, reminding you to breathe. 

2. It reminds you of your partner's body.

Sure, you are familiar with your partner's body. Heck, you are more than familiar. Dare I say you are intimately acquainted with it, even! But in the shuffle of the day, it's easy to forget what attracted you to your partner to begin with.

RELATED: I Broke Up With Someone Because Our Kissing Style Wasn't Compatible

Remember those early days when you couldn't pry yourself off of their body? A kiss, however fleeting, is a reminder of your partner's physical body and what brought the two of you together in the first place. 


3. It becomes an important ritual. 

A kiss with your lover doesn't always have to be deeply sensual and erotic. Sometimes it is just a peck on the lips before one of you flies out the door to go to work. A kiss, even a casual one, becomes an important ritual. A way of marking the space the two of you share together. 

4. When you stop kissing, you remove something essential from your relationship. 

Sure, you can't be humping like bunnies non-stop. But in a long-term relationship, sex can take a backseat, right along with romance. It's tempting to ignore things like a lack of kissing in the face of daily routines and life stress.

But when you stop kissing, you are tacitly agreeing that the romantic portion of your life together is done. There is no need for this to be the case. A hand on the back, a kiss on the head, a little kiss goodbye — these are all easy, sweet ways to reconnect over what brought you together to begin with.

The way you kiss each other might change with time, but as long as the two of you are together kissing should be central to how the two of you connect.


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Rebecca Jane Stokes is a sex, humor, and lifestyle writer who has been featured in CafeMom, FemPop, The Awl, Newsweek, and more. For more of her work, follow her on Twitter.