What Happy Couples Get Right Early On: 6 Small Things That Matter More Than You Think
Peopleimages.com - YuriArcurs | Canva Most happy couples don't get everything right, but they do prioritize a few small things that matter more than you think — and one of them is being grateful for each other. Research on the benefits of gratitude has shown that it is a necessary part of self-esteem, social support, and life satisfaction.
Along with improving individual physical health, psychological health, and self-esteem, the happiest couples know that showing gratitude, along with these other small things, can also boost their relationship to new levels of love.
Here are six small things that happy couples get right early on:
1. Treating small moments as meaningful
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Let's say your partner does something out of the norm, like carrying the laundry, washing your car, or picking up a morning drink for you. Make a bigger deal about it. Let them know how sweet it was and add a little kiss on top. Your partner wants to feel like their small actions have a big impact. And when they feel true appreciation, they will actually do more of it in the future.
"Do and say simple things often to make your partner feel noticed and cared for," recommended relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch, Ph.D. "When you do, you’ll notice a meaningful improvement in your relationship. And, the best part of that magic word and concept gratitude is that if you take the time to say it and show it to your partner, you'll receive gratitude in kind."
2. Appreciating the mundane
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Do you have an attitude of expectation? For example, do you think, "I deserve this, and my partner should do this for me"? Unfortunately, research suggested that way of thinking could be a big mistake. Human beings want to know they matter, even when they're doing the most humdrum tasks.
Think about what your partner does for you constantly and take notice. Maybe your partner cleans up the kitchen after dinner each night or takes the trash out every week. Aren't you glad you don’t have to do it? Be extra thankful and hug them or kiss them for their continuous effort. They will enjoy the extra attention, whether they show it or not.
3. Doing the unglamorous tasks
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"Practicing gratitude is a way to be more present and count your blessings, and it can help chase away feelings of gloom and anxiousness," advised life coach Cena Block. "Life balance is not a destination, but a journey filled with constant readjustment. The end is reached when consistent practices are in place."
It only takes a minute to do something special. Help your partner out in any way you can, especially with the small tasks; they add up. Pick up a sock or run an errand to make their lives easier. Cook dinner when you know they've had a rough day, or change the lightbulb that's been out for a few days. You could even purchase a gift you know they will love. (I picked up a package of Reese's Cups one day, and you'd think I gave my man a million dollars!)
4. Recognizing the value of past relationships
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No, it's not a joke. It's hard, if not nearly impossible, especially if that person seemed cruel and unusual. However, didn't it help you learn valuable lessons about who you are and what you want in a partner? Perhaps you even viewed yourself in a new way, knowing that you're too special not to have the person of your dreams.
Thank your ex in your journal or in any gratitude exercise you do. You must release this person and let the anger go so you can truly embrace your relationship right now. Forgiving an ex doesn't mean they can just come back into your life. It means you're letting go and moving forward without holding onto regret or angst. You can't take that garbage into a potentially great union.
5. Journaling your appreciation and devotion
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Whether it's just for you or for you and your partner, journaling has multiple benefits. A study of reflective writing showed journaling helps you regulate emotions, raise your IQ, and build confidence, among many other positive things. Perhaps one of its greatest uses is mindfulness. So, why not tap into that part of your brain and use it to better your relationship? Take pen to paper and write down the good you see in each other each day. Read it to the other person and watch your love life soar. If you're single, write about the good things you did today.
6. Having a bedtime gratitude exercise
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Take a few minutes before bedtime and do some deep breathing exercises to relax. Hold hands and remind each other how much you appreciate one another in both the good and challenging times. You decide how you want to make it special for both of you. It is a phenomenal bonding experience, and it sends you off to a night of sweet dreams. You can also do this exercise alone. Just take the emphasis from them to you.
It really isn't that tough to be grateful. It's just about being conscious and putting it in the forefront of your mind. No matter where you are on the scale of appreciation, you can always bump it up a notch. It's going to be magical when you watch your love life change and grow for the better right in front of your eyes. All it takes is a little tweak in your thoughts to create the happier, more thankful side of life.
Lori Peters is a dating coach, radio show host, writer, and speaker on happiness and well-being. Her passion is to help others create more happiness in their loving relationships.
