8 Ways To Become Irresistible To The *Right* Kind Of Guy

Learn how to attract the kind of love you really want.

Last updated on Jan 16, 2023

woman in red posing in front of brick wall NDAB Creativity | Shutterstock

Single women, it's time to stop stressing about your dating life. Everyone wonders after a dry spell, "What do I have to do differently to actually attract who and what I actually want?"

Of course, the right person will love you for who and what you are. But you need to be the best version of yourself to attract your best potential partner, and that can involve spiritual, emotional, and intellectual changes.


Follow these steps and get ready to attract the kind of romantic partner you always wanted.

RELATED: 7 Clever Dating Tips I Learned From 30 Years Of Playing The Field

Here are 8 ways to become irresistible to the *right* kind of guy: 

1. Completely give up on how it's 'supposed to be'

Throughout our entire lives, we have been fed all sorts of dating and relationship rules from our parents, friends, co-workers, society, the media — you name it.


Too often these rules that we have set forth in our minds enable us to miss out on many opportunities to meet and get to know really extraordinary people with whom we could create even more extraordinary, meaningful, and fulfilling relationships. 

It's great to have standards and not settle, but make sure your checklist is really enabling you to create the fulfilling, intimate relationships you really and truly want, or preventing such relationships from manifesting in your life.

The guy who isn't perfect on paper may be just what you need in real life.

RELATED: 10 Ways To Know For Absolute Sure Your Relationship Is Right For You

2. Stop overthinking everything

Real love is simple, even when it's not necessarily easy. Perpetual overthinking and making things so much more complicated than they really need to prevent us from truly attracting the people and relationships that we want to have in our lives.


Additionally, the more complicated our lives, the less emotionally available we become. For at least one week, try getting up each morning and simply doing exactly what comes to mind to do.

This may not seem practical or wise for most of us, but if you attempt to do it for long enough, it eventually becomes a normal habit. 

RELATED: 8 Steps To Combat Your Constant Overthinking

3. Accept and love yourself 

Get rid of the need to be heard and appreciated for what you are doing or how special you are.

Eliminate the need for someone to validate your thinking. In other words, don’t be motivated by the recognition, opinions, or support of others.


That constant need for validation may slip into dependence on others for motivation. Don't be guided by what you might think you need to do in order to be popular socially with a certain group of people, or what specific things you think people need from you.

Stay in touch with your own genuine authenticity and best self. Be driven by what you are truly passionate about and inspired by. Assume and expect the reality that not everyone is going to like or agree with you.

RELATED: 5 Vital Rules To Follow If You Have A Hard Time Loving Yourself

4. Embrace others the way they are, not the way you want them to be

I doubt that you like it when others criticize, judge, or write you off purely on account of your growth areas, so don’t do the same to other people.  


Remember the "Golden Rule?" See and embrace the totality of who someone is — without faking it.

Continually develop the highest degree of emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and emotional maturity to effectively interact with those who may drive you crazy. Don't take things personally.

One of the benefits of constantly striving to develop a high degree of emotional intelligence, maturity, and self-awareness is that you develop ways in which you can effectively handle difficult people without being dragged down by them.

This comes from choosing to genuinely care and empathize with other people, and be generous toward them.

When you are able to get to this point in your journey of continued self-growth, you will quickly discover that you are enjoying a greater diversity of people a lot more.


And in return, they are also enjoying interacting with you, because your positive energy becomes magnetic.

RELATED: The 3 Scariest Changes In My Life I’m Forcing Myself To Accept With A Smile

5. Enjoy experimenting

Never stop getting to know yourself, others, and the world around you.

Make "deliberate" mistakes. We've been conditioned by our parents, teachers, employers, and society in general that mistakes are bad.

However, mistakes are our greatest teachers, because that is truly how we learn, and as a result of making mistakes, we gain valuable experience, perspective, humility, and maturity.

Come to terms with the fact that you are human and not at all perfect. Be uninhibited and don't be afraid of making mistakes, because you are going to anyway.


The sooner you embrace that reality, the sooner you will enjoy all that the universe manifests in your life.

RELATED: Your Comfort Zone Is Addicting, But Here's How You Can Break Free

6. Be your 'best' self

Engaging in purposeful self-growth and improvement accelerates the continuous development of your mind, body, and senses.

It also enables you to be present and experience life, as opposed to just thinking about it. It is natural for us to want to be stimulated and challenged, and we are drawn to positive momentum and progress.

When others see that you manifest these principles in your own life, they will become more drawn to you.

And they will want to be in relationships with you because they will receive a sense of certainty and reassurance that their own growth, momentum, and progress will be supported and not interrupted.


RELATED: 10 Easy Ways To Become A Better Version Of Yourself

7. Remember that you're not always right

Try on the idea that beliefs and attraction are not compatible. Something or someone either is or isn’t what you're after at any given time.

What does your own particular belief or opinion about something or someone have to do with anything? After all, opinions are really just a way to define yourself and get either agreement or disagreement from others.


Strive to become more curious. Ask many more questions that stimulate your, and others thinking instead of constantly trying to get people to agree with you.

RELATED: Why My Biggest Mistakes Made Me A Better Person

8. Build your own reality

Most of us have adopted a version of our parent’s blueprint, or we have adopted what we perceive to be a popular blueprint for living from cultural, geographic, religious, or philosophical influences.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

However, there will come a time, if it hasn’t yet happened, when you will need to create your own separate reality and blueprint for living in order to make the most of your life, and attract the people who can help you create and maintain the relationships you truly and genuinely want to have.


RELATED: How To Tell (Without A Doubt!) You're In The Right Relationship For You

Aaron Kaplan is a Coach Training Alliance-Certified Coach (CTA-CC), Certified Prepare-Enrich Facilitator, and CDC Certified Divorce Coach, who also happens to be an ordained member of the clergy.