The 7 Types Of Love People Experience Over A Lifetime And What Each One Means
Brooke Cagle | Unsplash Love isn't just one feeling we experience; it's a whole range of emotions we undergo in different ways throughout our lives. The seven types of love people experience over a lifetime help explain why love can feel intense and consuming in one moment, then steady, quiet, or even playful in another. From romantic passion to deep friendship to the way you learn to love yourself, each type carries its own meaning.
Most of us grow up thinking love is supposed to look one specific way, but it evolves as we do. Understanding the different types of love makes it easier to recognize what you're feeling, what you need, and how your relationships change over time. Here are the different types of love we experience over a lifetime, and what each one really means.
The 7 types of love people experience over a lifetime and what each one means:
1. Eros love
Eros is about passion and deep romantic love in its most intense form. This is the type of love most people think of first, the heart-racing, butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling that marks the beginning of a romantic connection. It is the love that pulls two people together and makes everything feel urgent, electric, and alive.
Research from Georgetown University found that falling for someone floods the brain's reward system with dopamine and lowers the rational thinking centers. This is why it can feel almost impossible to think straight when you are first falling for someone.
2. Storge love
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Storge love is familial love. It is the love between family members, such as your mom, dad, or children. It's built on natural and instinctual affection. Storge love is often the first type of love we ever experience.
Licensed marriage and family therapist Lianne Avila explains that the love between a parent and child is one of the most foundational forces in a person's life, shaping their sense of safety, security, and belonging from the very beginning. She claims, "What children need most are happy parents," and that a consistent, present, loving connection among family members is the bedrock on which every other relationship in a person's life is built.
3. Ludus love
Ludus is playful, flirtatious love. It is all about flirting, having fun, and the giddy excitement of early romance. This type of love is at its strongest when play, excitement, and enjoyment are heavily present, and it is what makes the beginning of a relationship feel so thrilling.
Play and fun are not just nice extras in a relationship. Joy and playfulness build lasting inner resources that strengthen resilience and health over time, studies have shown.
4. Philia love
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Philia love is about friendship and deep affection. It is generally reflected in the loyalty between friends when sharing good times and showing up for each other through hard times. Philia is about deep, dedicated care for the people you love, built on trust, loyalty, and showing up for each other no matter what.
A 2023 review of 38 studies found that the quality of your friendships and how much time you spend with the people you love are among the strongest signs of overall health across every stage of adult life.
5. Agape love
Agape love is universal and pure. It is the kind of love that extends beyond the people you know, reaching toward strangers, animals, and the world at large. Agape is all about caring for others and their welfare, and it is the love behind every quiet act of kindness a person gives without expecting anything in return.
According to therapist Dr. Michael W. Regier, people who love most broadly are those who have learned to let go of judgment, making room for genuine care, even toward people who are struggling or hard to reach. He notes that truly compassionate people "avoid labeling others as good or bad" and instead lead with empathy. This is what makes agape feel so rare and so powerful when you encounter it.
6. Philautia
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Philautia is self-love, and it may be one of the most important types of love a person can develop. It is self-awareness and the deep knowing that you are enough, exactly as you are. Philautia is about building self-esteem and self-confidence, because when you truly love yourself, you open the door to loving and receiving love from everyone else in your life.
How you feel about yourself shapes every single relationship in your life, including the kind of people you attract, explains licensed marriage and family therapist Susan Saint-Welch. She states, "You tend to attract the same degree of self-esteem in others that you feel about yourself," which is why learning to love yourself first is not selfish at all.
7. Pragma
Pragma is long-term, committed, practical love built over time (such as in marriage or a long-term partnership). When you have an intense feeling, a deep attraction to someone, or even a pull toward something like your passion or your purpose, it all stems from love. Whether it brings you pleasure, joy, or a sense of meaning, love is something we all carry in our hearts.
Both giving and receiving love lead to a significant reduction in depressive symptoms, and this protective effect stays with people as they get older, a 2020 study found. It is the steady, daily choice to keep showing up that keeps the power of love alive across a lifetime.
The range of emotions it takes to truly love someone or something is what makes us who we are. Love is so deep that we can never fully understand or describe it. And yet it is also so pure and effortless that when you truly love something or someone, you find yourself loving it in all its forms.
Love is free and eternal. The little acts of kindness we do for others ultimately stem from love. We can feel love in any state of mind, in weakness, in sadness, in fear, and in joy. The idea of love is forever in our minds and hearts, even when we do not realize it.
There are so many different types of love we experience across a lifetime, from romance to friendship to the quiet love of belonging. Love is something that makes the world go round, and it is infectious. Regardless of who you are or what you have been through, someone loves you, and love itself is always within reach.
Katrina Harris is a writer who covers astrology, spirituality, love, and related topics.
