It's Hard To Hear, But These Are The 7 True Reasons You're Still Single

How to make yourself ready for the right kind of love.

Single lady AleksandarNakic | Canva

Does love seem almost impossible to come by? Are you wondering why she gets the guy, and you don't? Are you wondering why you're ineffective when it comes to dating and love? Do you constantly ask yourself, "Why am I still single?" If yes, then wait no longer — here are some answers. Some people make the world of love out to be more confusing than it needs to be. Love is not a secret. Rather, it's a formula and a much simpler one than you realize. It may feel frustrating and cumbersome to find it, but it doesn't have to be.


Yes, this bold statement comes from a woman who spent eight years serial dating only to be let down over and over again — constantly disappointed, broken up with over text and voicemail, stood up, cheated on, and more. Now, I am here to deliver the goods and explain to you the good news about the subject of love. These are the things I teach my clients. First, let's start with the bad news: You are single because of one or more of these seven reasons below. That's it! The good news is that when you understand and learn these skills, you will be lovable forever.

With these reasons in hand, you can pinpoint and fix what is between you and love. When you get the knack of it, it's like riding a bicycle; a skill you'll never forget. And things can shift fast — I mean fast! I had a client who did this preparation work. When she met her current boyfriend, the sparks flew immediately. They fell in love in a matter of days. I fell in love in four days. Other clients have fallen deeply in love with each other in a few weeks. If your internal cynic is wondering, the answer is a resounding yes, these couples are still going strong and in very happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationships. Do they have their ups and downs like I do? Of course, but they are committed to each other. That's the difference! I'm not going to dance around this and cushion it. Instead, I am going to tell you why you are still single and give you the solution. Are you ready? 


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It's hard to hear, but these are the 7 true reasons you're still single:

1. Your confidence is low

Men can sense your shaky self-worth.

2. Your ability to playfully flirt with men is weak

You struggle to grab someone's attention and keep it.


3. You're too jammed up with leftovers from past relationships to even see love

You need to drop that baggage or else you'll carry it into your next relationship.

RELATED: 7 Little-Known (And Incredible) Benefits Of Being Single

4. Your negative thoughts work against you

If you think you'll never find love, guess what? You won't.

@kirstietaylorr most people worry they won’t find someone until they find someone. im not saying this will cure any hopelessness you feel but it can help to see things from another perspective 🤍 #datingadvice #datingmindset #datingtips #datingtipsforwomen #anxiousattachment #relationshipadvice #datingtip ♬ original sound - Kirstie | Dating Advice

5. You just don't have the skills to be a good partner for someone — yet

Luckily, you can learn them.


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6. You suffer from poor communication skills because that muscle is wobbly

Hence, someone great slips through your fingers.

7. You don't put the time and effort into meeting someone

You're not scheduling time to date and making yourself available.

There has been a lot of talk about love being a science or that it's all timing. I joke about the story that love is mysterious or an art. Listening to these "experts" can leave you lost, confused, and highly frustrated. I'm here to say it's none of that. Love is only about being loveable. What does being loveable mean? It's being someone who can fully love someone else and who can completely be loved.


You become someone who avoids losing herself in a relationship to the point of becoming someone not even she likes. I call this being continuously loving and honoring yourself! All you need to do is find your loveable self. It's true that you know deep down, you're a great person and an excellent partner for someone. That's not the issue. The point is to uncover and maintain being a loveable person because that's the kind of woman men want to fall in love with and never let go. Were you able to see what's keeping you from a loving relationship?

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Suzanne Muller-Heinz is an international speaker, dating coach, and author of the book Loveable: 21 Practices for Being in a Loving & Fulfilling Relationship.