9 Things You Might Be Doing Wrong (If You Haven't Found Mr. Right Yet)

The dating world is a labyrinth, so here is a guide to show you the way to love.

Couple on a date-- woman un-interested Nicolas Menijes | Canva

If you've been looking for love and haven't found it yet, it's time to consider how you perceive dating. You may not realize how certain things can impact your chances of finding "the one".

When I turned 40 and decided to get serious about finding a husband (which I did!), I questioned what could be contributing to my single status. I had never considered the role my perception played in not being married.


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Here are 9 things you might be doing wrong if you haven't found Mr. Right yet:

1. You're letting your heart shut down

I allowed a breakup from my 20s to shut down my heart. As a result, I never did much to meet men, and the few men I did meet were unappealing or not interested in me. My heart was not open to protect myself from being hurt again. Once I realized this, I took steps to let go and heal, as well as build up my confidence so I could get out and date again.


2. You're dating like it's a business

Your business success can work against you in love. Not because success is a turn-off, but all business mindset can make you appear task-focused or intolerant and this leaves little room for romance. To turn this around use your "get it done" attitude to practice being friendly, smiling, and finding things to laugh about. These steps will improve your happiness and make you the star of the social scene.

3. You're being shallow

You might fantasize about a handsome person who is successful with lots of money. However, if your main criteria for a partner requires style, status, or money, you might be choosing people who fit your fantasy but simply aren't compatible in reality.

Take time to think about the other values that matter, such as, are they family-oriented? Marriage-minded? Happy in their life? Caring and sharing? These qualities are more likely to land you a lover whom you will get along with for the long term.

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4. You're throwing yourself at them

There is a double standard for women that still exists. If you sleep with someone too quickly, are too available, and cancel plans to be with them, they may consider you "too easy".

As illogical as it sounds, dating is a game that requires strategy. A person gets invested when they have to work to win you over. The willingness to put in the work to win your love also shows you they are worth investing your time in to build a relationship.

5. You're using a shopping list of standards

You have a list of characteristics for your partner that is a mile long and you are insistent about each item. Of course, you deserve the best, but are you being realistic? Men are human and so are women. Perfection does not exist. Being too picky is a great way to keep yourself single.

The solution is to narrow your list down to five "must haves". Choose the real deal breakers for you. Then loosen up a bit and get to know a few men. Quality guys will often surprise you in a good way if you only give them half a chance.


6. You don't know what you want

Women have so many reasons to not respect men when men fall into the sexist trappings of patriarchial society. However, spending too much time complaining about these types of men when you want a relationship is not the path to love. So, look at the men who inspire your complaints, or who are uncomfortable facing the reality of how a lot of men treat the women they date. You don't want to waste your time with those guys.

My advice is to think about men you know who have qualities you admire. Make a list of what you appreciate about these men, compare it to the items on your deal breakers list, and use these qualities to help guide you. Attracting a good partner requires good boundaries about the not-so-great men who are out there.

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7. You're only focusing on your own needs

You could be so self-absorbed you don't notice what's going on with others or the person you are dating. When you only focus on getting your own needs met, you may end up in relationships where your partner disappears, stops calling for no reason, or fights with you a lot.


Yes, you are important, but for a relationship to work, it does take two. To keep your lover happy and interested, do something nice for them once in a while and let them know how much you appreciate them. That goes a long way with anyone.

8. You're schedule is too busy

Telling a potential lover you are super busy when you first meet can be a huge turn-off. You want someone who is available and almost everyone feels the same way. In addition, if you are super busy, you probably aren't making time to be dating.

If you don't have time to date, you don't have time for love. If finding a romantic partner is your priority, then make it one on your calendar as well.

9. You ignore the red flags

Many people say they saw red flags when they started dating but chose to ignore them. Or they thought things would get better once they fell in love. However, problems don't improve with time.


If you don't like what you see in the first three dates, you never will. Don't push away the warning signs that you are getting involved with the wrong person. If you tend to attract people with similar flaws, make a list of these red flags. When you notice more than one of those signs, it's time to rethink the person you're dating since they are probably not the right one for you.

Be honest with yourself. If any of these dating rules for women apply to your love life, take steps to resolve them so you will improve your chances for love. Attracting love is totally possible for you, provided you know the signs along the way.

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Ronnie Ann Ryan is an Intuitive Coach and Past Life Reader. Her audio course, How to Ask the Universe for a Sign is available for anyone looking for answers.